If someone attempts to have a conversation with me, I NEVER add to the conversation or add follow up questions. "Hot today innit Dave?" "Yep". "You going out this weekend" "Dunno".
If someone asks me my age, specifically police, I genuinely can't remember my age.
If someone asks me for directions, I will say I don't know just to avoid having to talk to them.
In college I walk 30 minutes to a shop to kill time rather than hang out with the guys from my class because most of them play Yughio. As a pasttime, I play yughio online. Haven't told them.
On tests where I know only an external examiner will see it and will never have any communication with me, I will make as many jokes as possible in the hopes that some random human being's day is brightened up.
When I was 14 I used to pretend I smoked so that I'd have an entry point of conversation with girls. Fucking worked.
I always sit on the outward isle of wherever I'm sitting incase I need a quick escape. Don't know what I'm preparing for.
As an assignment in college, I had to write a guest list for a fake meeting about repairing the car park. I added Kanye West, Optimus Prime, The Three Ninja Kids, A Tiger and Madaline McCann. No one got the joke.
Three months later, they began fixing the carpark. I joked to someone that it must have been because of my guest list. They didn't get the joke.
If someone says something to me which I don't understand, I'll say "sorry?". They're repeat. I'll say "Sorry I didn't get it again". On the final time, I will reply "Yes" no matter if it was a question or not, then I'll make a hasty escape. Hey, might be why I sit on the outside seat?
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