Huey's Play House: Track Feed Back
 

Rules

1. Must be a Track.

2. Tell me where you got the beat and who mixed the song.

Rule of Thumb: if you think your track is shit, don't put it in this thread. anyone prefacing their track with "this is just some shit i threw together" should not expect me to sit here and waste my time giving you serious critique on shitty work.
(keep in mind, this does not mean if you are shitty i won't review you. lots of you are shitty and don't know it, just saying give me something that does your music catalogue justice.)


GOLDEN RULE OF THE PLAYHOUSE: don't get sensitive

soon as i finish this bottle of wine and pizza... let me indulge before i indulge

---------- Post added at 03:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:29 PM ----------

look at the tits on that girl in the roadkill t-shirts ad

---------- Post added at 05:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:36 PM ----------

who made this beat? nice story telling beat

so iv had to listen to this track about 14 times to decipher your accent. from what i can understand, this song is very, very dark. Its about a 12 year old girl being molested/raped by her father. The beat suits it well with its ominous minimal piano and sparse orchestral hits. Im not sure as to where the story went or what you were trying to say, but i'll get to that in the review. it painted a pretty twisted picture however. reminded me of this little girl who sat next to me on this long bus ride and poured her soul out to me about family issues.


ok... enough ranting. on with critique.

BEAT: great. no complaints. maybe a larger snare

PRODUCTION: the beat/performance would have shown even brighter if you had a nicer vocal quality. your mixing didn't do your performance justice in my opinion. You used some sort of filter obviously, judging from the drops in background noise when you're not speaking. I'd say try eq'ing the highs of your vocal tracks higher up and filtering out the bottom so you get less background noise and a brighter quality to your vocal that will cut through a ominous track like this... a trick i like to use as well. try putting around 4-6% echo on your voice. not enough to be obvious but enough to put your voice at a strange place between the forefront and the background for an ominous song like this. another trick i like to do for projects is putting 2% echo on the master track of the song, it will blend every sound in your song together, a lot of old school producers use that trick.

PERFORMANCE: great job. you delivered it like someone who really met this girl. like she was your sister or some shit.

LYRIC: though detailed and image evoking, i felt lacked in conclusion. i feel like a great song always has a button... the thought at the end or the hook or anything that just lubricates all of the thoughts and images of the song. you had no real 'button' on the song. for example in eminem's stan when he says 'that was you, damn'.. thats the button. your lyric came off as a slew of images about this girl, it never really resolved.

OVERALL: 7.5/10. this is a great rating btw, if anyones wondering my grading system. wonderful job just c. you sat down and you spent the time to write a song that can bring something out of people (in my case, the memory of that girl on the bus). Though it lacked in conclusion (in my opinion) and the production took away from the power of the beat and imagery, it is a triumph... 7.5

---------- Post added at 05:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:09 PM ----------

don't be cowards, post

Word. Good looks on the break down. It's still an unfinished Piece actually, hence the lack of conclusion. And yeah mixing could definitely be better. That's something I'm always working on so I'll try and put what you said about the EQ, echo and what not into practice next time I get a session going. Thanks man. Really good breakdown.

its not a track its audio, only thing i've got haha...

more emphasis? better lyrics? don't ever audio again? i'onnt care, just holla

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=lb&id=533819

Oh yeah. The beats by "Sinima" on Sound Click.

no track? how did you get into the playhouse?

please leave

pardon if i switch my breakdown order up, kinda just however i feel like doing it

BEAT: i wasn't feelin this beat tbh. shit was going for minimal hardcore, but it just didn't work for me. The only instrument i liked was the distorted guitar. those synthy strings that come in were corny to me and when those dropped out and the drums came in the drop seemed lackluster. probably cause i wasn't getting much swing out of that drum sequence at all.. i mean, the hi hats are the loudest part of the sequence, i could barely hear the kick and snare separate themselves. Did redmyst make the beat? if so, try giving the hats, kicks, and snares all their own tracks so you can mix and eq them accordingly, then send them all to the same bus where you can mix them as a whole, then send that bus to the bass line (if you have a bass line), it will make the bass duck when the kicks and snares cut and give you a nice integrated sound, like the whole song is swinging with the drums

PERFORMANCES: chronologically.
Rule, sorry to say man but i sense you reading your verse, for example "its a douuble". you coulda swagged that out huge but it sounded like you were reading it. your spitting it with UMPH but when the punchlines come in, your voice kinda drops out. it sounds like your trying to spit hardcore but not wake anyone in your apartment building up. Also the hardcore approach didn't really work for me cause the beat was already hardcore. bananas on bananas, never good imo (unless you are just that hardcore dude, where all you know is gutter ass murder stories, but i don't think you are that person).
Swavy: yeeee. feelin it from the first word. you came on the beat like you kinda just chillin, strawberries on bananas. No but really you wrote this like an audio verse, you switched up the patterns and swagged out your punchlines, performance was enjoyable throughout.


****NEW CATAGORY*** weeeoooo weeooo (sirens)
HOOK

"take a seat, schoolin son
you aint foolin none, got you (poolin one??)
if you don't spray, don't move your tongue
this aint the rule of thumb, this is the rule of gun"

ok, i don't like the hook. for 1, i had to listen to it 8 times to hear what you were sayin, which isn't great for a hook. It seemed like the same old letsbeef battle track hooks that you hear all the time... BUT with that said, cudos for putting a hook, it split up the song nicely, and even though fell short in its hookyness, it was needed in the song.

PRODUCTION Rule your vocal mix was significantly worse than swavys. swavy may have a voice that cuts easier though, not saying he's a better engineer. Rule you should take a look at my advice to just c and try that out, may work for you aswell, cause your voice is falling flat amongst background noise and doesnt cut through the track like it should. Beat production wasnt great either, the drums all fell flat, like i said.

LYRIC great from both of you as expected. riddled with punchlines for a classic punchline flex track style that letsbeef has grown so fond of. not being sarcastic, this shit is a staple of letsbeef

OVERALL i give the song 5 out of 10. the beat fell short, the production fell short, the hook fell short, but the lyric and swavys performance shown enough to land this a 5 out of 10.

No idea how on the money you are there LOL.

Appreicate the breakdown fams, plenty to work on there. I write and record at the same time so i dont rehearse my verses.

Thanks huey.

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