Help (Round 2)
 

So, After Reading Eth's, Core Souls And Manny's Comments (Appreciated), This Is What I Came Up W/. I Followed Eth's Idea Of Just Focusing On The Ending Punch (In Other Words). So, I Came Up W/ A Simple 1 Minute Thought Of Concept. I Tried To Keep It, How Should I Put It ........ "Not Talking Bout Myself", And Focusing More About The Opponent's Verse.

Anyway, I CAN DO BETTER.

everytime he think he feelin high, thinkin he in the sky is actually when he TRIPPIN ON SHOE-LACES!!!/

Holla. :cool:

I Changed It, Thought Of A Better One.

wayy too basic

are you trying to do inner-multis ?

i don't get your flow at all

Not intentionally. But i'onn't understand how it is basic???? It's/would be the concept i'd be working off.

how can someone be feeling high when they trip on their shoe laces?

besides that , it didnt fucking make sense what does shoe laces rhyme with ?

you should have said i always lose im never slippin on defeat, unless im trippin on shoe-laces
or sum of that nature

dude work on just the punch.

A easy simple way is to take a very simple gangsta posturing and turn it into a insult.

Really simple like...

He wouldnt "Raise Heat"...
He aint "Deep In The Hood"...
Dude wouldnt "Spark A Flame"...

^All these are very very simple easy to do punch set-ups. The more creative ending the better. ^This shit wont work against anyone half decent but is a good starting point.

Like...

I'll put "Heat To Your Temple"... like EGYPTIAN SUNRAYS!!! (Egypt has a lot of temples, hence the punch.)

So start off simple. In fact i'll write 3 set-ups, you make the punches..

1) dude wouldnt "Hold Heat"...
2) He couldnt have "Sick Words"...
3) Only time this "Bitch's Fresh?"...

^End those 3 and see what you make.

One Sec One Sec .... Its Just A Concept, I Haven't Done The Line Yet. I Am "Working Backwards".

And It Makes Sense. You Just Gotta Get It. When You "High", You Are "Trippin" ... But The Whole Punch About It Is That He Thinks He High When He Trips On His Shoe-laces, Cos When You Trip Cos Your Shoe-laces Are Untied, The You Face Up And You Fall ... Get The Picture??? :D

I'll put "Heat To Your Temple"... like EGYPTIAN SUNRAYS!!!

That's The Type Of Thing I Wanna Leave W/ At Least Before The End Of The Week. It Connects Like A Bloody Dick W/ A Vagin. :)

1) Dude wouldn't hold heat, if he even had the SUN IN HIS HANDS
2) He ain't deep in the hood, ....PAS
3) Only time the bitch's fresh??? ....PASS

Can't think for shit now lol

best concept so far .. :D

1) Ya think ya "Hot" and da CATS WIT DA PUNS? but these "Fire Arms" ain't shootin da GATS OR DA GUNS! & Dude wouldn't hold heat if he was playin' CATCH W/ DA SUN
2) This "Tool" ain't got BARS or MATIC's you couldn't SPAR at AVERAGE & He ain't deep in the hood as a CAR MECHANIC

Lol @ Ej Showing Off His Skills. Naah, Raw Nevertheless Haha.

no actually lookin for feedback

I Knew That.

stick a gerbil in my ass through a tube-eminem

P, We Gottttttaaaaaa Batttle Bruva.

sen'at shit

Imma teach you how to flow ,

Lol, I'll Send Asap, And If I'onnt Get Time Tonight First Thing In The Morn..... Get @ It W/e You Can.

ladjjksfl

edited

I PUT MY DICK IN YA MAMA THROAT

call it dick-in-a-throat

jews ........

Peanutes arent really cashews!

yo i fucked HVK's mudda

lmao really ?

yours was the only good ones , so u do it lol i'ain hav no punches or nothinq.

shit might as well

yeah i think we got some shitty dudes as our opponets anyway

shitty doods

shit iight , ima fuck around and write my line right now lol.


Brown fiend & t__N

are there names

brown is too easy to flippparound

yeah it is,

shit , this like a muhfuckin BYE week
i think someone dope as fuck for'da next round.

check inboxxxxxx

First punch, not cleanly cut enough basic yes, but I wanted to see you try it basic, but it's not as cleanly set up. You want a set up, then the delivering multie, don't but them together in one multie like "TRIPPING OVER HIS SHOE LACES", do it more "He's "tripping" like his SHOE LACES UNTIED" or something, you get me?

Ok, the first one has the set up. You can work like that. It has bad wording, but wording comes with delivery, which is built upon if you work harder at it later.

The other ones aren't too hard. Just think of another meaning of the words.

Hood = Ghetto (Intended meaning)
Hood = On a Jacket
Hood = On a Car

He wouldn't be in a hood if he as an engine
He wouldn't be in a hood if he was a head

Obviously two really weak concepts, but getting that mind state can let you elevate from that style. It's not my style, so I'm not trying to convert you to mine or anything, it's the basic punchline structure. Other styles come with devlopments in your game after you have this foundation set.

Your on the site since '07 and your looking for advice now? Give it up now kid, stay away from rap battles son

NOooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I Started August 2009. LOL ... Mindless Was Trying To Fix Up My Profile Comment Button, But It Failed, So I Lost Everyone That Was On My Block List And My D.O.B On LB Changed Lol.

And Yahhhhh, Thanks E. I Feel Ya On This One.

Ok, Here We Go.

thinkin he got this "In The Bag??" Only time he ever will is when he gets his BODY LACED UP!!

??