Subreal's Verse For Jason. (Feedback Requested.)
 

I'll 'bring da newborn to ya crib' like storks we're ready to SMOKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY

First of all, when the FUCK, has a stork EVER smoked anyone? What are you thinking, fam? More importantly, what relevance does the set up "bring the new born to your crib" have as a DISS towards your opponent? This is a very poor start to a verse for one of the top contender's on LB.

look below ur high horse thinking ur da CHOSEN ONE MAJESTY n you'll see 'more Young'ns strapped with two-pieces' than views from OCEANFRONT BALCONIES!

You're only one "Young'n." Where are all of these other young'ns you speak of? Are they the new borns? Can a newborn hold a gun? The concept is there, but, using a simile based punchline really hinders the impact of the line, making it seem incredibly basic. Not to mention the already pointed out flaws with its set up, and its set ups relevance.

Your era hella forced rhymes just SPEAKING SOME JARGON so we learned retards die out w/o SPEECHES FROM DARWIN

Decent little jab here, but, with the length of the build of your first punchline, you have little room for further punches, and small jabs with such a low impact will NOT win you a battle.

you're just da last to pass u 'on tha edge of withering' like SEEDLINGS IN GARDENS bitch ya'll didn't come close 'in denting the text section' wasn't even REACHING THE MARGIN!

What do seedlings and paragraphs have to do with one another? Incredibly poor set up to your following punchline here, with little to no relevance between concepts to be seen here. More importantly, the conceptual basis of the seedling line is incredibly vague, and leaves a lot to be desired. Both of these above lines are very bland, and uncreative in my opinion.

I used to fanboy but guys our IDOLS SHITTY I SEE NOW they couldn't 'claim blue again' featured in EIFFEL 65'S REBOUND!

First of all, why refer to yourself as a fanboy? You're just opening yourself up for flips off the get go with this phrasing. You really finished this verse off with another dull concept with little to no impact with both its phrasing, and its set up. No relevance between your idol being shitty, and Eiffel 65. This is not your best work, in the least. If this is what Jason is "ducking" you should really go back to the drawing board, and rethink your approaches.

THIS IS @Subreal'S ACTUAL VERSE FOR JASON. THE VERY ONE HE CLAIMS HE IS DUCKING. That being said, I will include the following poll for this thread:

Did @Jason duck @Subreal's verse? THIS verse?

Can someone show me some of Jasons best bars..

who wouldnt have ducked that beast of a verse?

Your girl would never duck that verse. She'd hit this fool with the wreath.

@THUG OF WAR do you know who Chloe Grace Moretz is?

God sent it to me in a dream @THUG OF WAR. :D

Can someone tell me Jason's best battle? lol im being fucking for real to..

I've only read one battle by Jason. It was tonight.

Ive only read like 3 or 4.. No offence to him but i wasnt impressed.. Hes got some punches that would drop a lot but hes not consistent from the few battles ive read.. there was his 64 against pugz.. i was feeling a couple of his lines like the "flyer" one.. i read one of his finals and a couple more.. i wanna see a verse from where peeps said he dominated..
Jason's name is blowing up more then my fucking cell phone.. I rather hear about Jason.. Man im drunk..
@Rain-Matrix coping and pasting them bars is taking longer then i thought..

I just did a skim through his battles. His 32 with Deniro B Milk was nice. He had an 8 line battle with Rhetorik, too. And one with Wowza.

Im bout to check them out...

The only one I read out of the list was the 32. Just happened to see the others on the same page.

I aint even gonna lie Jason is better then i thought.. tbh Jason would 100-0 Sub.. Well not with Autographh around but Jason could..

LOL...........

If i were sub id delete my account & start a fresh one pretending to be a noob.....

dude's been gettin shitted on by everyone....

Lol

Admittedly those bars were terrible.

And to those of you who ain't seen Jason's 'best battles', you are def some of the newer heads... Dude is nice with it.

@SoupErb I dont have it in me to read every single one of his battles.. Ive read every battle from a few different vets.. I just wanted to know what his best battles were.. Either way im not reading all his battles and i dont think anyone can answer that extremely tough question of mine..

I'm not going to lie I've never actually looked at a @Subreal verse or battle, but I just assumed he wasn't totally trash by the way he talked.


I was COMPLETELY fucking wrong, jesus christ.

why do i have a title and u don't?

---------- Post added at 12:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:55 AM ----------

@Jack Skellington can stop talking shit to people better than him. You won't send bars, and you LOST to people I BEAT so I really don't have anything to prove by sending to you. If you want to send bars go for it, otherwise try to stop losing to people I beat before asking ME to send. You are here trying to critique someone's bars with about 4 other AC faggots, using fallacies such as a False Dilemma in your poll and pointing out purely flaws of someone's verse. Your crew is a joke period, and I can easily beat/have already beaten anyone in your crew as of 4/27/14.

Lol everyone from all walks of text life telling him he sucks and he still having none of it. haha

Who has told me i suck in here except someone from ACs that text battles? It is this pathetic crew salty that I left

This is your first and last warning. Don't diss the crew, don't diss anyone in it. You're going a bit too far with this and I'm being reasonable with you right now. Don't do it fam.

God Bless.

I dare you to post ANYTHING ELSE. Maybe you should think back a couple months during the GC, before you do something fucking retarded. This is your FIRST AND LAST WARNING, before you join Thug,EtH,Grizz's crew.

God Bless.

I'm waiting...

Lol fucking idiot, Lock bout to be banned for IM'ing for votes, Link incoming @MAN DOWN

Fuckin' beats me man, should get scooby doo to investigate this mystery.

I didn't check out one of your battles when you were in the AC's, from your elevation threads I saw that you needed a fuck-ton of work in some areas and were alright in other areas. Your bars lack any real execution set-up wise, your multi's are always average & when you try to do anything more complex you fall off & break them and your flow is always fucking systemic and robotic as fuck. Your punches always have abstract concepts that, like Jack said most of the time don't even make sense when directed at the opponent.

To sum this up; nobody missed you when you left, maybe if you had elevated a shit-ton with us & became a real asset to the crew we would have but that didn't happen.

Everyone has a chance to elevate, if you were to actually stop acting like you're anything more than a random textcee who's ego outshines his sub-par bars you could get into an elevation crew & become a pretty fucking good battler, because you do have the potential.

Oh, and stop being such a colossal fucking faggot. That would help a lot too.

@Subreal Keep reaching.

God Bless.

It isn't very Christian-like for you to lie.

@SubrealI don't need other people to tell me how much of a Christian I am or not and what I do wrong and what I don't.

I pray to God for forgiveness and He forgives me.

I can sleep at night. Can you?

God Bless.

Why did u IM me to vote on ur battle vs MAN DOWN in GC? ( i refused lol)

I asked you to drop fairs on all of the battles in the GC. Not once did I ask you directly to vote on a battle of mine.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking liar, you DIRECTLY asked me. :grass: have a nice vacation

Dude I'm not going to lie, but you're as lost as last year's Easter egg.

This buildup is hilarious because u genuinely believe i didn't take a screenshot.

I asked him to vote on them all because this was just after he no-showed OSKAR and came back. He said he's not voting on mine and I asked him why and he said because we were both recently in the same crew (BSI) and I said ok that's fine.

Nah, you randomly IM'd me and asked me to vote on it, bcuz it was getting slept on. directly asked me

Not quite @Subreal

You make it seem like it's against the rules to look for feedback and express your own opinion then. Oh well.

No it wasn't indirectly, he directly asked me to vote on his battle and even linked it, I have proof. He should have heeded my warning

I didn't directly say anything to you @Subreal

You couldn't believe the amount of people I told that and they knew I wasn't roping them in to vote.

---------- Post added at 11:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:38 AM ----------

It's almost like your battle with MD. You could say you beat him, but in reality you couldn't possibly know.