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Dr. Killz
it dawned on me that i have alot of advice and shit to give and i'm mad fair and brutally honest...so...why not allow my services to be solicited by the LetsBeef family..
i'm sure i'll regret this.. but post a few bars and i'll tell you (imo) what you need to work on and what you are dope at.. note: i'm not going to judge based on anything else i've seen from you...just the bars you post.. post away:high: |
Yo Yo... Check it out... i'm a raging gay... TIME!
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what's with all the GORE N' BLOOD SHIT? it just proves that your of no use, another BORING DUMB BITCH your a fat nerdy muhfucka how would you even start imPLORING SLUGS QUICK? haha for those foolish bars and stretch scars I'll keep you hanging "Over Wait/Weight In Line For A Sticking" like big WHORES IN CLUBS BITCH!!
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some shit i used in a battle right now tho it a snipe...I know your honest so give feedback and say what you would rate this I guess a 4,5...
The Only Time This Dude Masturbate When He "CUM IN HIS THROAT"So Why Would Anyone Give This "SCUM A DAMN VOTE"?Can Someone Explain To Me What This "CHUMP HAVE DROPPED"?This Dude Is Gangsta?He Is "JUMPING ON COPS"?Lies Cause Everyone Knows This Faggot Would "FLUMP AND THROB"And The Only Time This Dude "PUMPS AND FLOPS"When He Is "DICKRIDING"!I'm On My Hype I'm "PRICK SNIPING"Killing Rookies With My "SICK TYPING"And This Gay Dude "CHICK PIPING"?Fuck No He should "STICK GRIPING"Cocks Cause Everyone knows He Sucks At RAPPING Fuck this shit I bet This "BITCH BITING" |
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---------- Post added at 02:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:51 PM ---------- Quote:
homie...ya main issue is that your structure is off...be sure to match all those multies well, and make sure that you are saying something..meaning advance the verse with every multie you use..you got kinda mired in vague insults and never really got to a punch here. when you first start...its best to have maybe one concept to open with..then work off of that multi set or that concept...this seemed aimless and needed some direction... hope that helps fam |
Just cos you hang w/ 'kids n play' don't make you a CLASS ACT!!
A punch from my YouTube Battle vz RIGGA in the BAD BLOOD YOUTUBE VIDEO TOURNAMENT |
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it just proves that your of no use, another BORING DUMB BITCH... ...haha for those foolish bars and stretch scars I'll keep... Those? |
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they're dope...i use them in my music...but if you do it...it should probably be more than just one syllable in text because it can be difficult to pick up on without having more of a scheme than just one syllable..ya dig>?
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Its 2012 but ya punches LAME & AVE'RAGE STILL?? the only difference is now you say you AIM A GAT AND PEEL so since this "Small Fry Gotta Toy Now" i guess he beCAME A HAPPY MEAL!! cmonn dont SAY YOU CLAPPIN STEEL cuz he AINT AS HALF AS REAL as he CLAIMIN & FORREAL i wouldnt be in a "Box Off His Hit" w/ the GREATEST ACTING SKILL!! (Box Office Hit)
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lol... obviously a solid and well put together concept..only thing maybe is to emphasize that you are REITERATING that he aint clappin nothing. if the reader doesnt get that...it may seem like you are just saying it twice....although i get that you are emphasizing shit...maybe like, "..HAPPY MEAL!!...once again dont SAY YOU.." small shit i know lol...but it could help |
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......pause on "polishes it off"...lol...and no doubt
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homie we known each other since the CLASSICK DAYS.. all love, but if you start actin MAD & HATE? "1 on 1" I'll bring the "Heat To The Table" & "Light Up When We Alone" like roMANTIC DATES!!!
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Complexity?! He's gone too far... on each HORIZON OF NATIONS, can someone ARISE N TRANSLATE HIM?! Skilli must be *Insane* to "Test Steez/Testes Of A God", he'd have better success with POSEIDON'S CASTRATION! But what's this jibber-jabber? I'm expecting some white-coats to ARRIVE N STRAP-TAPE HIM, so he can go "Talk to All His Hoes" at the ASYLUM'S PLANTATION!!! Y'all visit him tryna find the vaGINAS OF PITCHFORKS: Ain't nothin but a tool-fucker or one of Charlie's Angels, seein as he gets LINES FOR A BITCH-CAUSE: Everyone talks 'bout Skilli's textbox being a future threat? But all I see is a "Pussy Stretch Punches" like DYKES IN A FIST WAR!!! So carry on chatting shit, those "Actions'll Get You Grounded Quick" like you're MIMING A RIPCORD: Your text-shit has been bested, watch this scum go HIDE IN A DISHCLOTH, he's in a "Lower Domain", in need of a bigger "Line-for-Line Breakdown" than a SITE W/ A GLITCHED PORT(ww2) - Sheeez! You know that expo would end with a "Bigger List of Things to Kill Off" than KIKES ON A CLIPBOARD!!!
Middle section of my 32 against Skilligan: (http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432470) ---------- Post added at 12:54 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:52 AM ---------- Much appreciated bro. I want another battle with you. I'm 1-0 up atm. ;) |
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But AINT AS HALF AS REAL? *shakes head* |
@Itz Killz
Fuck it, I'll play. But here's some advice to the FEW LAMES THAT'LL MISS YA "Hire an 'Unknown Artist' to start 'enGRAVING THE SCRIPTURES' But when you say ya goodbyes 'screw RAISING A GLASS', 'poor a 40 on the PAVEMENT FOR CHAP' cuz AFTER I 'toast him with inten' It'll be no use 'RAISING THE PITCHERS'/ |
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ok...test steez of a god doesnt work, while testes of a god does....remember..its gotta be smooth by both meanings...dope concept thought forreal.plantation line was 'eh'...wait....what the fuck is 'vaginas of pitchforks'?? and the multi set doesnt match...that was odd. and the next concept....wouldnt the punches stretch the pussy in that scenario? decent idea, but execution is off..the rest was decent i guess...seemed forced, and the anti semetic closer was pretty played and worded awkwardly. overall you got the gist, but you want to start to put shit together more naturally...might i suggest reading some Daddio shit...he's pretty good at making the text box more conversatonal and less jittery ---------- Post added at 09:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:17 AM ---------- Quote:
expo? |
Toast him within ten of my 16
Toast him with intent Pitchers/pictures. |
thanks...
and no...lol...thats a stretch. MAYBE the 'within 10' part...if the fact that it was 16lines or whatever was mentioned or addressed, but without being lead...i'd prolly never come to that conclusion |
But if you woulda been reading the actual battle in the 16 box to vote it woulda been self explanatory. Plus I said just before or around the 10 line mark. But you read it in here, not the battle cuz I posted it, So I'm not complaining. Thanks.
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'Damnnn!!' I CRAFT THOSE ASTONISHIN.. WACK FLOW ABOLISHMENTS!!.. (GASP) HOE.. ACHKNOWLEDGE THIS… you ain’t UP CLOSE OF FOLLOWIN’ infact “milk” ain’t “touching me” as if I’m LACTOSE INTOLLERANT!!
Against Deniro B milk, RULE hates my name play, what you think? |
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And also, sorry to correct you: http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=379774 (Aight, that was a cheap shot) Haha, peace fam... |
i'm in a different LANE THEN THIS GUY IS, heard him SAY HE GOT DRIVE THEN i 'snapped, shot his mug, put his head in a box'..he ain't been ABLE TO LIE SINCE(license).
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the fact is...this bar was very well constucted. obviously you taking a lil shot at his structure cuz its done (well) in his style... buuuuuttt....for you to have such a dope build, i would hope that the punch would be fresh as fuck...and for someone actually named "Milk"...i'd hope it'd be fresher...dont get me wrong, if the build was like, "..i dont fuck with milk...LACTOSE INTOLERANT...lb's monster? well breakfast on me when i PACK TOASTS FOR GOBLINS!!." ...or some shit like that..but as the main punch...its a lil played since the name is so obvious n shit... this was well put together though shordy ---------- Post added at 12:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:25 PM ---------- Quote:
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Okay little one, if you wanna "Expand as an Emcee" you can't jus say that you don't HESTITATE TO PULL THOSE TECH NINES, I must admit: "You're Growing Fast" but quit thinkin' you'a "HEAVYWEIGHT" W/ ALL THOSE "STRETCH'D LINES"!!!
Just one more bar, much respect. |
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i mean...its alot that can be done with the concept of stretched lines |
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@Itz Killz
This Fag "Delivering Punches" Is Like Rebels BOMBING BOARDERS I'll Leave Him "Trapped In His Bars"Like AWNING QUARTERS And This Dude "Disabled Vet"Like VIETNAM SOLDIERS! You Couldn't Make "Scornful Punches"If Your Were A PSYCHOTIC SWART It Like He Have "Concealed Eyes"He Misses The Punches Like His Vision Is MYOPIC PERT And He Couldn't Hit Me With "Lyrical Bolts"If He Was A MELODIC DART! |
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second one...well..i think you may need a dictionary..or shit..maybe i do...because i didnt grasp most if not all of it. |
'BOMBS, HE's BRINGING THEM'?,
naaaaaah, the only reason 'GOD's LIKELY STRAPPED'.... PUT BASICLY?.. cuz even the most 'STAUNCHEST CHRISTIANs' WOULDN'T 'PAY TO SEE' the 'ALLMIGHTY RAP'.... |
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Thanks......
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"even if Moses was into hip hop..." lol
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