What do you think happens when you die?

Why do men have nipples?

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window? A: He wanted to see time fly.

is it possible to make a program that displays the packets of the internet onto your screen i mean like in matrix the format would be hexadecimal and the color green.

What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi? A: There, Their, They're

Probably @Shodan

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little foal? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Magic Kindergarten, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Changelings, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the Equestrian armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Equestria, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Crystal Empire and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, foal. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hooves. Not only am I extensively trained in unhooved combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Equestria Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable flank off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

A blonde has sharp pains in her side, so she goes to the hospital. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."