You get an ice Lamborghini. It's cool, literally, for about 20 minutes but then the novelty wears off, right about the time it's fully melted into a giant puddle of water.

I wish I could enlarge / shrink my penis at will.

You can enlarge and shrink your penis but only when you're uncle will is staring at it.

I wish uncle will would drop dead.

your uncle comes home from his shift as a mortician, carrying a dead body filled with maggots and shit because he wanted you to see.. he trips on his way to you and the body drops on you.


I wish I had super strength

You're so strong that when you take your 1st step after aquiring this super strength you crack the ground and fall all the way to the core of the earth dying of dehydration slightly b4 your body is reduced to nothing but ash.

I wish for better kush.

The cops find it and you go to jail.

I wish marijuana were legal.

You find yourself in the middle of Los Angeles. From your awkward goofy attire, shady suspect characters start asking you if you're lost. You seem threatened and they smell the fear. They get in your face and you cower in despair. They grab you and throw you in a tinted black van with the seats ripped out. You're put in a blindfold and handcuffs but before the lights go out, you can make out blood stains on the walls, used condom wrappers with trash spooled about and tons of Filet-O-Fish McDonald's wrappers in a corner. You breathe in and tell yourself to relax but that's when the heavy waft smell of piss hits your tongue and you gag in your mouth. One of the aforementioned characters grabs you by the throat, pulls you in close and whispers in your ear "Our boss is going to like that boy". You shudder in disgust and start thinking you're going to die and nobody is going to know about it. The van suddenly stops and you see a bright light through the blindfold. They lift you up by your arms and legs and carry you out of the van. Door closes and you smell grass and flowers, you feel the dirt with your shoes and think "Shit nothing good happens in the wilderness". You would scream but they gagged you with a dirty rag which you hope is oil and not shit and cum. They march you for an undetermined amount of miles before you're suddenly thrown on the ground. You hear a squeaky voice which you feel like you recognize from somewhere but you can't quite place it. They say "Get the fuck on your knees bitch" you comply right away "Bow to me Shodan" you're shocked but you bow, you start thinking, "how do they know your alter-ego's name? what else do they know, what the fuck". Next thing you know you feel a pole in between your groin and oddly enough you get a rock hard erection. You're confused but somehow it feels right. Right then you feel something heavy pull the blind off and you're hit with a rainbow of color. You find yourself in the middle of the woods with lights, hung up on the trees, canvas back and forth in a strobe fashion through you and back again. You hear rave music blasting from speakers and you finally turn around and you see Rainbow Dash butt fucking you, he's wearing sunglasses like an asshole and holding a film camera. He smiles and says "Smile for me bro", you bite your lower lip and start thrusting back against him so hard you start to feel him convulsing on top of you. Next thing you know you've got rainbow, thick as toothpaste cum spewing from your cunt and you love it. You wake up completely covered in sweat and look around and go "fuck that was just a dream"...but then you hear a hoof noise and see Rainbow Dash walk in drunk, bottle of jack in his hand with a dirty leather jacket on. He reaches for you and you run to him.

*Takes another hit*

I wish chocolate rain would happen at least once in my life

it happens on the day of your outdoor wedding , and your wife, whos very lactose intolerant, gets hit by the rain and dies from asphyxiation


I wish for immortality

The fuck is wrong with you stuey?

You watch all of your friends and family die before you. Your bones deteriate over time become so brittle that younare reduced to just giant blob of skin, forcing your roomate Jerry(never washes hands after using toilet) to carry you around everywhere. He often takes advantage of you since you cant defend yourself and uses you as a sex toy (you still have your mouth). You're now wishing you also wished for a self destruct button.

I wish that noboby else makes a wish in this thread

This is now a Spider-Man thread. Post memes.