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Will post today got caught up last night
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letsgooo
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Rows Submission:
First Period - Girl's Perspective Just after the morning bell rang, I stepped in class with my friends for Art, went to the back where projectors are, to chat before lecture starts; talking about the latest collab of Cher and Headley... That’s when she walked in, and we all stared intently... Her name was Ella – she looks kind of scary, deadly… She pointed at the far corner like .. “there’s the best seat”. She has the largest of trunks; gives off a whiff full of smoke and so much piercings, when she nods, its like a jingle arose. We thought no one would ever see this chick and approach that’s why we called her ella-phant, for she was bigger than most. End of School Walking down the hall looking through rooms of latter classes but it was at the last room where we stopped and looked – flabbergasted. The room fit a yoga description; the cutest kids on mats, opened to listen staring amiably at the one encircled – looking focused and driven. It was Ella.. teaching the lotus position with a puppy resting on her head with a look that read: “hopelessly smitten”. We walked away doubting our eyes but after an hour’s reflection; we wondered why, at first site, she gave a sour impression… Next Day - First Period We got to class thinking: “should we view her different now?” We used our phones to search online and figure it out and we all reached the goal together when we accessed her online journal through a social network: She’s a slave of a bad past, was raped by her grand-dad, her whole family passed away when the van crashed, smoking helps her when she’s taking the Zantac and yoga is an aid when she’s evading the flashbacks. So when Ella walked in, reticence was assumed. As she sat, we looked at her, feeling credulous and obtuse; Someone tenebrous with a mood has an elegance some pursue? Now we sit here quietly… with the ‘ella-phant in the room’. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Subreals Submission: I've always been a herbivore, just a grey peaceful gentle giant Held as a prisoner for no crime by these crazed mental tyrants The day finally came and as they approached i just trembled quiet As they forced that scalpel at my temple, prying....... You, the lions,bears, we made a pact to only eat meals from the sun But you are worse than them, sometimes you are just killing for fun You have no honor for your own species, you steal from your sons And Before the babies can even come out you are killing your young.. You deny you were one of us, but we all have a heart that is beating We all get food in someway so we do not starve in the evening Although we hide our tears, we all take part in some grieving.. You of all should know, when hurt, i bear the same scars and the bleeding You made me capable of leading our kingdom splendidly with excellence You fucked up and now your attempts at befriending me is negligent You caused this, you geniuses gave an enemy your intelligence You've betrayed us forever so my fucking clemency is malevolent For two hundred thousand years you've threatened our people We were wiped out once, and with your arrival we question a sequel Your laws cant save you in my kingdom this day of reckonings legal Your betrayal will lay waste to our family, your presence is lethal Now it is finally time to see how you fare when weapons are equal. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wonderbred DQd Drop your votes below for @Row or @Subreal! LETS GO!! |
Really cool read from both.
Row: At first, I thought ''Oh, another one of these'' and then the ending just came together perfectly and really gave me like a ''damn'' feeling in my stomach, like all of that story was built for that final word to come into play and man did it work. Great story, kept me occupied and interested. Subreal: Cool topic man, like how you're using current events to push an agenda that you're passionate about. Only downfall to this, the story to me.. seemed a little obscure to the whole point. I was kind of lost at some points, but then at the end you realize so you got to give it a second read. Which isn't a bad thing, but to me as a reader I want it all to come together at the end and I had to go back and think and review some stuff that was out of the ordinary for me. REALLY close though, I enjoyed both reads and you guys are both promising Topical writers for sure, in the least biased way on a good battle, I got to give my vote to @Row - realllly close though. Both did your thing! |
Both are worth tha read forsure but one was above tha other here, imo.
My vote goes to Row for a more relevant story line & better grasp on tha topic. Props to both. |
it's murda..
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nice read from both , relevant stories and both well crafted , but going with the one I thought made more of and impression and was well finished . so my vote goes to @Row .
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round closed.
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@Pugz get the finals up!
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