I'll try and stick to the obvious wording issue.

"WANT FREE LOTS NONSENSE" is basically...Nonsense. It makes no sense as a sentence. Say it out loud. It's gibberish. Plus it completely breaks up the flow because "WANT FREE LOTS NONSENSE" = 5 syllables. While the other 2 capitalised sections = 6 syllables. So when you add the mismatched syllable count with the fact that "WANT FREE LOTS NONSENSE" doesn't make any sense and has no place in a sentence. It completely kills the readability.

This is off topic but I think it's important for you to note.


As for the 'verse sucked' 'massive filler' & 'punches weak' sections. They have no connection to the capitalised sections or even the end punch.

What does ('punches weak') have to do with a (SPONTANEOUS COMMENT)?

I don't see the connection. And even if their is a connection. It's way to vague to land a direct hit because it reeks of a forced struggle and reach. Like you're trying to hard.

I'm not going to break the rest down because I think I've said enough and more than anyone else has.

So to sum it up.

You'll be better of starting with a shorter multi count. Say 3 or at the max 4. Not only will this help make your wording cleaner as you won't have to be thinking up poor choices of word to make the syllable count match. It will also make thinking up concepts easier giving you a bit more freedom.

Remember the more syllables you use the harder it is. And you're really not ready to string that many syllables yet. Take a step back and work your way back up the syllable count gradually. If you really want to improve. Every battle you drop from now on should be using no more than 3 or 4 capitalised multi sets.

Ayo thanks alot man for this feedback. Apprecite it alot. And yeah I admit man I sucked in that battle I had alot of broken multis and shit. Thank alot again.

yeah, everyone gets better overtime, you discover shit and possibly can just blow up. look at @RULE , i sniped him like a year ago maybe, idr. Now hes head mod lmaoooo. You'll elevate, but don't be afraid to be you, you know? evolve at your own game, don't adapt to what others see fit. My two cents. You got potential bro, good lucks.

Haha thanks alot man really apprecite it. This all what I'm tryna do is to elevate.

Lol Don't Give Kids The Impressions That They Have To Be A Mediocre Battle To Be A Head Mod

Sup RULE? :violent: Where's My Audio Crackhead? Don't Make Me Crack Heads Or Pull This Mag's Lead And Leave You Zapped DEAD [X_X]

my sucks wording

If I Send Audio Would You Reply? I Can Send This Weekend When My Parents Are Asleep Cause I Can't Be Too Loud.

Bra u smart , thx for this ..