Concise vs Apollyon - Text Tournament Battle - Rap Battles and Freestyle Battles at LetsBeef.com

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2022 Topical Tournament
Length: 40 Lines

Concise (73%) Won

Banned

Ranked #-- This Month (#-- All Time)

None

Reppin: Vallejo, California, United States

Apollyon (27%) Lost

Ranked #-- This Month (#56 All Time)

Crew: Turnbull AC's

Reppin: Barrow, Alaska, United States

Concise

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<div>                          The Lastronaut</div>
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<div>The day had finally come, Time to blast off, First manned mission to Mars, so I say goodbye to Mom and pops. Me and my crew, lined up on the tarmac, feels like I'm having a heart attack, already filled up a barf bag. Strap myself in, and we are go for launch, T-Minus 10 and then Bon Voyage. "And we have lift off" 5 seconds later I take a look at wrist watch, reality sets in, I'm thinking, "what if it gets lost? Wait let's talk, I'm finna get off at the next stop!"</div>
<div><span>Let's take a detour, before we reach orbit, do we really need to leave Earth, to research? I think I'll forfeit, maybe fake a seizure, or change the coordinates, whatever it takes to be sure this mission gets aborted. </span></div>
<div><span>"I'm only here for the paycheck, I haven't been properly trained yet, SpaceX is going to have to settle for a raincheck, in fact, they better find a replacement. "</span></div>
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<div><span>I take a moment to calm my nerves, I haven't yet lost it, but I'm on the verge, all the sudden an alert comes on the monitors. I see Elon emerge with some alarming words, about a Martian scourge, starting to converge, and their target's Earth, then he strongly urged that we stop em first. </span></div>
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<div><span>As we make our arrival, I can see the space aliens, I take out my rifle, whoever survives this space melee wins. "Geez look at those things, I'm amazed their green, let's waste these scaly freaks with their laser beams." I've got my space command team in the place I'm standing, I grab a case of canteens as we brace for landing. But then we take a direct hit when we least expect it, things are looking hectic as we head for the exit, but I still have my weapons, so I'll get my one small step in.</span></div>
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<div> <span>We race to an escape pod and take off, my space squad evades shots, til there's a safe spot to stop. Put this bitch in park, then I disembark, "So I guess this is mars? looks like we missed the mark." </span></div>
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<div><span>The Martians march in with their starships chargin, I discharge my AR and then discard the cartridge, green men are inbound and we're exchanging rounds "we got a man down!" but I stand my ground. And that repeated till my whole fleet had been defeated, but so were the green men, they got beat and they retreated. </span></div>
<div><span>I disbanded those varmints single handed, but nothing on this planet went as we planned it, since we landed, now I'm left here stranded</span></div>
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Apollyon

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<div>My eyes open, I regain composure, the dust settles. The trouble I'm in is up there but to what level. Fear!! Fear flows throughout my blood vessels. And my head aches sharply, like something that</div>
<div>could cut metal// The shuttle I was in has crashed, my crew is gone. As is the transmitter, I look to</div>
<div> the galaxy with no hope but I move along. Remembering they said I won't make it back and I doubt I prove'em wrong. Physically I could lift a mountain but mentally I'm not doing strong// My eyes play tricks on me, I see shadows in the distance. I know it's nothing but I'm a man with a mission. Figure out how to get home and quit the wishing. Holy shit, not today Satan is what I say when this something hits my vision// I run, now I'm mortified while attempting to fortify a shelter built out of the shuttle that any craftsman would glorify, if only this was a dream or a lie. I won't give up, I'm not that sort of guy. But what I saw and my inner demons are more alike// That's just it. I seen demons and</div>
<div>hell hounds feasting. They devoured another demon without reason, what's on my mind now?</div>
<div>Leaving. How? Beasting out. Here we go, I begin to sneak around// I grab the sharpest part of the shuttle that I can find. hold it tight and I begin to fight them like my life depended on it, I'm not striking light// Stabbing, punching, gashes, punctures, I'm creating chaos but how much havoc and disasters unsure, even the masters wonder// I end them all and keep going when another demon is seen</div>
<div>holding my teams clothing while he eats bones n lets out screams, showing off fiery chains and swords, I seem focused// I throw the shuttle sword and slice his head clean off. Pick up his sword and begin a speed walk// from up above a demon 3 times my size hits the gravel. If it wasn't before I know now this is the battle. I look'em dead in the eye and say bitch you're fucking with a jackal. He tilts his head so I say <span>come and get it asshole// he rushes, swings his sword and I dodge it. Slice his leg, smile and say you ready to stop yet? He swings again, I duck and say watch it. Another swing comes my way and I block it. Then hit him with a kick off and a drop kick. He throws his sword at me so I run and slide under it and tell him he's not slick. I tell him you may have conquered all but not this// he lets out a war cry. I can only win, I don't adore ties. And I won't lose or die// he's at his best, I'm at my best. I leap his way and attack his chest then I stab his pecks. </span><span>then he grabs my head n snaps my neck/ It's over. Really over. </span></div>
<div><span>Sorry I keystyled this shit real quick.</span></div>
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<div>AC's!!</div>

Voting has ended for this battle (battle finished on 2022-09-22 23:59:53).

Phroxen <LoD>
Hall Of Famer
I am Him
2x Grand Champion
One Bar Legend
Cypher Champion
Scheme Champion
Concept Champion
One Bar Champion

Topic: You are the last survivor of your crew on a mission to Mars.

You have until 9/22/22 at 11:59PM EST to post.

Posted on: 2022-09-19 11:03:38

Apollyon <AC's>	Topic: you are the last survivor of your crew on a mission to mars Posted on: 2022-09-23 00:11:25
Student Staff Hall Of Famer Creative Genius LB Historian	It's like The Chode set you up Phenomonon, dope shit across the board y'all, gotta comeback to give a proper breakdown Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2022-09-23 01:28:45
Affinity <Chapter666>	Interesting. Chode - this is dope and told a cool and interesting story, its something I actually wanted to finish reading. Some of the rhyming components were a miss and repetitive at times, but nothing that caused me any issues as the reader. Really dig the " I take a moment to calm my nerves...." section because it was early enough in the story and took me by surprise. Phen - I know at the end you said you keyd this, but its still an interesting take on the mission to mars concept. I think it got a little away from you near the end with the demon fighting and all that. The beginning of it all is where this verse shined the most with "Remembering they said I wont make it back.." and that bit there. The end was a lot of "he said...", "I said...", "he said.." line after line. Voting for who I believe had a better flow, and really told a more interesting story. Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2022-09-23 10:14:24
Wayco <....> Premium Member	this is hard. extremely close. i think it can go either way. maybe its down to preference or one writing a little smoother. the styles n content were close. good luck to the winner. good battle. Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2022-09-23 10:22:05
Row <ANBU> Hall Of Famer 3x Topical Champion 2x One Bar Champion Concept Champion Scheme Champion Tag Team Champion 4x LBT Champion	Didn't think either were creative as far as approach goes.. One had less grammar issues, and stuck to the theme better until the second half and veered off into a diff direction which was odd. The other started off okay, but then spoke as if his crew was there, which didn't fit the theme. Edging to one who was overall more entertaining. Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2022-09-23 10:44:05
Masked-Reaper <Chapter666> Grand Champion 2x Premier League Champion Cypher Champion Scheme Champion The Demon	My winner had better imagery & feeling in their verse. Although they didn't rhyme as well as the loser, they ticked the boxes for a topical battle. Good job both Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2022-09-23 14:12:54
mister jon flako Premium Member The Drunken Sober One	nice read by both ya dudes,..I enjoyed ones flow better from start to end..and I enjoyed ones use of the topic and being a bit more direct with it,.salute fellas very close Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2022-09-23 17:20:51
GodTheReptilian <AC's> Other Wordly	ACs! 👽 Posted on: 2022-09-23 21:14:20
G3P0 <WANTED>	Winner just nailed the imagery completely and the rhymes just fit well. Shit would make a fye song ggz to both Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2022-09-25 03:27:13
Student Staff Hall Of Famer Creative Genius LB Historian	Quick vote but Winner had a cleaner verse throughout and was able to convey a more concise use of the topic. Great drops from both y'all, good work here Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2022-09-25 23:47:11

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