Battle Rap and Freestyle Battles at Lets Beef


 
Start a battle

Vote on a battle to earn +1 credit!
 
  2023 Grand Championship
 
 
Battle Feed
Flako Boom vs MetisTheMyth
Style: Freestyle
0 Votes No Rating YetNo Rating YetNo Rating YetNo Rating YetNo Rating Yet
FightsAndRap... vs Flako Boom
Style: Freestyle
0 Votes No Rating YetNo Rating YetNo Rating YetNo Rating YetNo Rating Yet
Flako Boom vs Bonita Bonfire
Style: Freestyle
0 Votes No Rating YetNo Rating YetNo Rating YetNo Rating YetNo Rating Yet
Bonita Bonfire vs FightsAndRap...
Style: Written
1 Vote 4.75 stars4.75 stars4.75 stars4.75 stars4.75 stars
yungcheefyungcheef is on FIRE! 5+ wins in a row! vs RhymeSmokeRhymeSmoke is on FIRE! 10+ wins in a row!RhymeSmoke is on FIRE! 10+ wins in a row!
Style: Freestyle
1 Vote 4.75 stars4.75 stars4.75 stars4.75 stars4.75 stars

[ more battles... ]
 
 

Go Back   Lets Beef - Battle Rap Forums > Battle Arena > General Talk

Notices

User Tag List

Reply
  #31  
Unread 11-27-2012, 02:45 PM
Mind Fuck
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,544
Mentioned: 746 Post(s)
Tagged: 29 Thread(s)
Send a message via Skype™ to Mind Fuck
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
19 Won / 11 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.84/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.84/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
342 Won / 112 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
5 Won / 2 Lost
Default

A -shot? What you WANT W/ FUCK?? Thought that you was weiser cause your BUZZING BUD.. guess I'll show you WHAT IS UP when showing you your 'too titty' to duke wit me bringing new meaning to DOUBLE CUPPED//

@Erupt

GONZO
Reply With Quote
Unread 11-27-2012, 02:45 PM   #31
 
Mind Fuck
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.33/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
19 Won / 11 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.33/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.84/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.84/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
342 Won / 112 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
5 Won / 2 Lost
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Voted: 35 audio / 1302 text
Posts: 3,544
Mentioned: 746 Post(s)
Tagged: 29 Thread(s)


Send a message via Skype™ to Mind Fuck
Default

A -shot? What you WANT W/ FUCK?? Thought that you was weiser cause your BUZZING BUD.. guess I'll show you WHAT IS UP when showing you your 'too titty' to duke wit me bringing new meaning to DOUBLE CUPPED//

@Erupt

GONZO
Offline   Reply With Quote
  #32  
Unread 11-27-2012, 08:38 PM
Jack Swagger
Guest
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Default

Your "bars were weak off the launch" and NEVA LANDED, you'll drop like HARD LIQUOR when "Shots drop" from bad "BAR" TENDERS, face it, a simple "90 degree flip of the wrist" won't make this battle LEVEL HANDED!!!

Meh, @Erupt
Here's somethin.
Reply With Quote
Unread 11-27-2012, 08:38 PM   #32
 
Jack Swagger
Guest
 
Voted: 0 audio / 0 text
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Default

Your "bars were weak off the launch" and NEVA LANDED, you'll drop like HARD LIQUOR when "Shots drop" from bad "BAR" TENDERS, face it, a simple "90 degree flip of the wrist" won't make this battle LEVEL HANDED!!!

Meh, @Erupt
Here's somethin.
 
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Unread 11-27-2012, 09:09 PM
MAN DOWN
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,507
Mentioned: 525 Post(s)
Tagged: 20 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
8 Won / 2 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.86/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.86/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.86/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
66 Won / 14 Lost
Default

@Erupt when do grades go in professor?
Reply With Quote
Unread 11-27-2012, 09:09 PM   #33
 
MAN DOWN
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.66/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
8 Won / 2 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.66/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.86/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.86/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.86/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
66 Won / 14 Lost
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Voted: 0 audio / 249 text
Posts: 1,507
Mentioned: 525 Post(s)
Tagged: 20 Thread(s)


Default

@Erupt when do grades go in professor?
Offline  
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Unread 11-28-2012, 11:42 AM
Erupt da Monsta Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 8,056
Mentioned: 1899 Post(s)
Tagged: 85 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
24 Won / 4 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
64 Won / 15 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Molly View Post
@Erupt when do grades go in professor?
Grades will start coming in shortly! After the end of each 3 day writing period i will then have 4 days to break down each verse fully, then the next week will start my nigggs, and etc..etc

Edit:

--------WEEK ONE GRADES------ (Will go here)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unyqe View Post
My divine punches produce ALE'S/L'S I KEEP EXPORTED so I stay MAILIN' THESE FOOLS MORE CLIPS, so 'wine' n my 'cantina/can 'Tina' will DAMAGE FOLKS sending the HAMMER LOW/HAM 'MERLOT' when SPILLED IT LEAVES THE FLOOR RED!!
Ait bro.... this is going to be brutal... but i know you can deal with it.. lol

Ale's / L's .. ehhh i guess it works sorta, but you could find wayyy better wording...
so I stay MAILIN' THESE FOOLS MORE CLIPS .... read that aloud, does the wording sound forced to you? its pretty forced man, and youre Mailing fools clips? I get what youre saying, that youre exporting clips but how does that pertain to your opponent, what you gonna hurt him because he is going to recieve clips via the mail? lol nah man, doesnt work....

so 'wine' n my 'cantina/can 'Tina' will DAMAGE FOLKS sending the HAMMER LOW/HAM 'MERLOT' when SPILLED IT LEAVES THE FLOOR RED


the first part about the wine is straight... i guess you named your can tina...? lol its a little forced but better than everything else. you have a HAM MERLOT? WHAT? lol so youre trying to say your Merlot is going Ham i get it but why are you sending your hammer low? lol


The wordplay was real iffy in this..... the multis were also suspect.. forced at times... delivery wasnt bad but needs a lot of work.... readability isnt really bad but its not good because of the forced multis...

Teachers Advice

Okay so its deff your freshman year, My advice to you is to stick to simpler concepts, and read your stuff aloud to make sure it reads smoothly, Use simpler multis, somtimes you have to take a step back to take one forward.

Rating

.Flow-4
.Delivery/swag-4
.Multis-4
.Punches-4
.Readablility-4
.Entire bar relevance -8 ... although the concepts were horrible, the relevance was good you stayed on point with that. SO good job with that.

Mean Score

You scored 47% on this weeks test. And Failed. Use the advice I gave to get a better score next week!


Quote:
Originally Posted by InZane123 View Post
'Fuck Politics'..ya Chick's TWERKIN' HER HOLE 'WORKIN' THA POLLS', lettin' APES SPRAY SEAMEN n Fuck an 'ARGU-MENT' I'll turn ya 'PARTY RED' if you 'DeBATE ZANE'S SPEAKIN' // Ya RHYMIN'-AIN'T-HOT so if you 'WINE-N-TAKE-SHOTS' then I'll STRAIGHT A BEAT HIM! YA GUYS? THEY'LL SHOUT ABUSE 'til ya "ConFIDING 'BOUT THE BOO'S" like FINDING OUT THE TRUTH in an "A.A MEETIN'!"..

@Erupt
Flow- 8- The flow was actually pretty damn good, the only thing that i would say that took away a point is this... ya RHYMIN'-AIN'T-HOT so if you 'WINE-N-TAKE-SHOTS' then I'll STRAIGHT A BEAT HIM ...
... the straight A part was a lil forced, but that wasnt the issue, it was the word choice, the first part of the bar you were talking to him, then at the end you were talking about him, messed up the flow, try to either talk to the opponent or about the opponent when writing a line.
Multis-8- you did a good job with the multis, try to match the syllables a lil more, and your grade will go higher. good job with this!
Delivery--7 .. was good... but what messed you up was what i mentioned above that little slip up, def not a bad delivery tho.
Punches-6 both punches were average punches, nothing complex at all, could have done better in this category, read some of the doper text heads to get an idea of how to move forward, think outside the box.. your score went up due to the fact you had more than one punch... but the two didnt coincide.
[B]Readability-7- Was actually pretty good, I wouldnt cap so many words tho, if you could lower case the inner multis that might help for a smoother read.
Entire Bar Relevance
- 5- Overall I like the fact you put a punch in, but the beginning didnt coincide with the last bars... the subject was alcohol.. try to make the bar stay on topic the whole way through.

This weeks grade - 68%
- not bad, its a D but still not good enuff to graduate from the freshman class. Use my tips for next week to move forward! I like what im seeing so far tho.

Teachers Advice


Dont cap all the multis, the reader will pick up on it , this will help for a smoother flow until you master them. The inner multis I wouldnt cap. Also, when you get time read some of the better textcees verses, or better yet, since youre an audio head ... watch this guy named, Heartless , on youtube, he is very creative.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
I'll 'intoxicate your mind' n take over I'm the MESSIAH,SCARY DWELLER 'reprobate you outta society' you a PARIAH, WARY FELLER punches make his 'brain mellow' dna over the place leave u a slain fellow n make ur soul 'spirits of wine' like MARIAH CAREY CELLAR

This is prolly bad but yeah I'll wait for feedback.
Flow-3-I'm the MESSIAH,SCARY DWELLER 'reprobate you outta society' you a PARIAH, WARY .... this line messed up your flow points... wasnt too smooth, not only did the word choice seem off , but the using the "," in back to back punches doesnt help the flow at all... also... it took too long to get from this multi...PARIAH, WARY FELLER .. to this multi...MARIAH CAREY CELLAR..to much space between the two and takes away from the punch.
.Delivery/wording- 3-Once again see above the wording was off due to the choice of words, and the space between multi to multi in the last line made it not hit.
.Multis-4 Multis did match, but werent the best selection, and they were few and far between.
.Punches-5-there were punches in this , nothing too strong but they were there,,
.Readablility-6 once again this is a flow problem... it wasnt too much clutter,
.Entire bar relevance -4 your first bar had nothing to do with the topic, if you want to add punches to a bar, try to make them connect on topic with the last bar.

Grade - 41%

Teachers Advice

Work on not forcing the multis, if it doesnt read smooth to you, then cross it out, try to stay on topic with the topic the entire bar, dont have soo much space between multi and multi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EDS View Post
Like heads or a "beer?" I "STILL CRACK OPEN" KILL RAP NOISES, cause if its snakes in the grass?you "STILL LACK POISON!" bite a rap? You DRILL BACK FOAMIN, for that bread you need, sober up. Get shot. Too REAL? BLACK...TOASTED! Try n STEAL THAT FLOW ISH? you can beg when I grab your leg. Pertend it's a keg, my MEALS TAPPED FLOWING.
Flow- 4-Ait the flow wasnt bad.... the verse flowed decent, work on the word choice and try to lose some of the fancy designs.
.Delivery/wording-4- the delivery wasnt bad but the wording was terrible, mainly due to word choice.... REAL? BLACK...TOASTED!....Pertend it's a keg, my MEALS TAPPED FLOWING. i get the punch... but the way it was worded was bad... the word choice was bad which messed up the delivery
.Multis-5- Once again there were alot of multis but alot of them were forced... try not to force them, read it aloud to make sure it makes sense
.Punches- 5- there were punches,but they werent that dope, keep up the same consistancy, but try to be a little more direct.
.Readablility-4 the readability wasnt bad,but the way the multis flow messed up the read.
.Entire bar relevance-7 i noticed you stayed on topic for the most part, good job,

Grade- 48%
Teachers Advice

work on not forcing the multis... read it aloud... lose some of the designs... good job staying on topic... try not to force a concept. READ IT ALOUD.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FiNAL WoRD View Post
ud 'do anything for a high'', one day you'll Drown-in-vomit so stop n think, u aint never workin shit aint 'Never earned a chip', he aint never bin Proud at all his accomplishments? nahh! hes always 'lookin for sympathy in the bars' that he Drown all his sob Sorrows in..but my shots are piff, its like a Mouth of chronic/a shot of criss with a remaining ounce of pot pitched after you down a shot wit vodka its!, gottem 'throwin back at random' now hes 'In need of help'...alcoholics anonymous

@Erupt , shup shuuuun
Flow-7-ait the flow wasnt bad at all. flowed pretty smooth, had a small issue when reading, use some type of "/" or "." for pauses at the end of each main multi set otherwise the reader might get lost in it.
.Delivery/swag-6 delivery was decent, what messed up your score is the delivery on the last bar... the multis werent set up right for it to hit with its full effect.
.Multis-7- multis were there... try to use more extensive multi sets, that will boost ya score.
.Punches-5-the punches werent great, the sympathy behind his bars punch was actually better than the alcohol anon punch..... if you can i would lose the "....." before you got to that punch... it just seems like you cant find a way to word it properly.
.Readablility- 7-once again find a better way to seperate the main multis, that comes with delivery, other than that it was decent.
.Entire bar relevance -9 - you did a great job with this, the entire bar almost was relevent...... GOOD JOB.

Grade-68% + 5pts extra credit... 73%

Teachers Advice
Work on structure, so that it reads smoother if you plan to not cap your multis... Try to use longer multi sets, up the creativity of the punches, also try to fix the delivery to maximize the impact of the punch.

[quote=Mind Fuck;864346]A -shot? What you WANT W/ FUCK?? Thought that you was weiser cause your BUZZING BUD.. guess I'll show you WHAT IS UP when showing you your 'too titty' to duke wit me bringing new meaning to DOUBLE CUPPED//


@Erupt
Flow- 8- ait flow was smooth, was a smooth read.
.Delivery/swag-8 delivery was good, i would have added another multi set to the last bar to make it hit harder......
.Multis-6-multis were there mainly in the last bar, bud lets try to use longer multi sets, the set you used here was 2 syllables, the middle of it didnt rhyme, use atleast 3 rhyming syllables in a text verse.
.Punches- 7-Punches were there, first was worded good, good job by adding two in there, they werent exactly heavyweight tho, still decent.
.Readablility-8 very readable verse here... had no problem with that..
.Entire bar relevance - 9 you stayed on point with this.

Grade-77% - GREAT JOB! ONE MORE SCORE OVER 75 PERCENT AND YOU GRADUATE FROM THE FRESHMAN CLASS!

Teachers Advice

Use longer multi sets, try to incorporate more of an audio flow with the inner multis, up the creativity, also work on the delivery, knowing when and where to place multis to make them hit harder.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Molly View Post
K. Just a second give me 3 minutes.

---------- Post added at 05:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:57 PM ----------

This clown needs to 'chill-out'! like SKIING ATTIRE.. just FLEXXIN like he's MEAN and does more 'IMPRESSIONS in the RING' than a C.Z. DeSIGNER/ His 8 line battles? the READING IS FIRE.. for HALF THE DROP, THEN GETS WEAK! so if he 'HAS A SHOT, w/ SIX-TEENS' he was DRINKING WITH MINORS!!!/
Cz is cubic zirconia btw..
Flow-9-okay the flow was dope here, good job
.Delivery/swag-7-delivery was good, could have been better on the last line,
.Multis-8-multis were there, and actually pretty damn good
.Punches-7- the opener was better than the closer, the closer was a little mediocre for my taste
.Readablility- 9 , it was very readable
.Entire bar relevance 6- first bar didnt relate to the subject at hand , try to stay on topic for the whole time

Grade-77%- Great job! one more week over 75% and you will advance into sophomore status!

Teachers Advice


What took away from your punch score was the fact it didnt relate to the entire bar..... thats what hurt your score here... multis were good, add a little more of an audio feel to them and you will be right there.... Keep the entire bar on point!

Last edited by Erupt da Monsta; 12-03-2012 at 05:31 PM.
Reply With Quote
Unread 11-28-2012, 11:42 AM   #34
 
Erupt da Monsta Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!
Estimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
24 Won / 4 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
64 Won / 15 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Voted: 96 audio / 723 text
Posts: 8,056
Mentioned: 1899 Post(s)
Tagged: 85 Thread(s)


Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Molly View Post
@Erupt when do grades go in professor?
Grades will start coming in shortly! After the end of each 3 day writing period i will then have 4 days to break down each verse fully, then the next week will start my nigggs, and etc..etc

Edit:

--------WEEK ONE GRADES------ (Will go here)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unyqe View Post
My divine punches produce ALE'S/L'S I KEEP EXPORTED so I stay MAILIN' THESE FOOLS MORE CLIPS, so 'wine' n my 'cantina/can 'Tina' will DAMAGE FOLKS sending the HAMMER LOW/HAM 'MERLOT' when SPILLED IT LEAVES THE FLOOR RED!!
Ait bro.... this is going to be brutal... but i know you can deal with it.. lol

Ale's / L's .. ehhh i guess it works sorta, but you could find wayyy better wording...
so I stay MAILIN' THESE FOOLS MORE CLIPS .... read that aloud, does the wording sound forced to you? its pretty forced man, and youre Mailing fools clips? I get what youre saying, that youre exporting clips but how does that pertain to your opponent, what you gonna hurt him because he is going to recieve clips via the mail? lol nah man, doesnt work....

so 'wine' n my 'cantina/can 'Tina' will DAMAGE FOLKS sending the HAMMER LOW/HAM 'MERLOT' when SPILLED IT LEAVES THE FLOOR RED


the first part about the wine is straight... i guess you named your can tina...? lol its a little forced but better than everything else. you have a HAM MERLOT? WHAT? lol so youre trying to say your Merlot is going Ham i get it but why are you sending your hammer low? lol


The wordplay was real iffy in this..... the multis were also suspect.. forced at times... delivery wasnt bad but needs a lot of work.... readability isnt really bad but its not good because of the forced multis...

Teachers Advice

Okay so its deff your freshman year, My advice to you is to stick to simpler concepts, and read your stuff aloud to make sure it reads smoothly, Use simpler multis, somtimes you have to take a step back to take one forward.

Rating

.Flow-4
.Delivery/swag-4
.Multis-4
.Punches-4
.Readablility-4
.Entire bar relevance -8 ... although the concepts were horrible, the relevance was good you stayed on point with that. SO good job with that.

Mean Score

You scored 47% on this weeks test. And Failed. Use the advice I gave to get a better score next week!


Quote:
Originally Posted by InZane123 View Post
'Fuck Politics'..ya Chick's TWERKIN' HER HOLE 'WORKIN' THA POLLS', lettin' APES SPRAY SEAMEN n Fuck an 'ARGU-MENT' I'll turn ya 'PARTY RED' if you 'DeBATE ZANE'S SPEAKIN' // Ya RHYMIN'-AIN'T-HOT so if you 'WINE-N-TAKE-SHOTS' then I'll STRAIGHT A BEAT HIM! YA GUYS? THEY'LL SHOUT ABUSE 'til ya "ConFIDING 'BOUT THE BOO'S" like FINDING OUT THE TRUTH in an "A.A MEETIN'!"..

@Erupt
Flow- 8- The flow was actually pretty damn good, the only thing that i would say that took away a point is this... ya RHYMIN'-AIN'T-HOT so if you 'WINE-N-TAKE-SHOTS' then I'll STRAIGHT A BEAT HIM ...
... the straight A part was a lil forced, but that wasnt the issue, it was the word choice, the first part of the bar you were talking to him, then at the end you were talking about him, messed up the flow, try to either talk to the opponent or about the opponent when writing a line.
Multis-8- you did a good job with the multis, try to match the syllables a lil more, and your grade will go higher. good job with this!
Delivery--7 .. was good... but what messed you up was what i mentioned above that little slip up, def not a bad delivery tho.
Punches-6 both punches were average punches, nothing complex at all, could have done better in this category, read some of the doper text heads to get an idea of how to move forward, think outside the box.. your score went up due to the fact you had more than one punch... but the two didnt coincide.
[B]Readability-7- Was actually pretty good, I wouldnt cap so many words tho, if you could lower case the inner multis that might help for a smoother read.
Entire Bar Relevance
- 5- Overall I like the fact you put a punch in, but the beginning didnt coincide with the last bars... the subject was alcohol.. try to make the bar stay on topic the whole way through.

This weeks grade - 68%
- not bad, its a D but still not good enuff to graduate from the freshman class. Use my tips for next week to move forward! I like what im seeing so far tho.

Teachers Advice


Dont cap all the multis, the reader will pick up on it , this will help for a smoother flow until you master them. The inner multis I wouldnt cap. Also, when you get time read some of the better textcees verses, or better yet, since youre an audio head ... watch this guy named, Heartless , on youtube, he is very creative.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
I'll 'intoxicate your mind' n take over I'm the MESSIAH,SCARY DWELLER 'reprobate you outta society' you a PARIAH, WARY FELLER punches make his 'brain mellow' dna over the place leave u a slain fellow n make ur soul 'spirits of wine' like MARIAH CAREY CELLAR

This is prolly bad but yeah I'll wait for feedback.
Flow-3-I'm the MESSIAH,SCARY DWELLER 'reprobate you outta society' you a PARIAH, WARY .... this line messed up your flow points... wasnt too smooth, not only did the word choice seem off , but the using the "," in back to back punches doesnt help the flow at all... also... it took too long to get from this multi...PARIAH, WARY FELLER .. to this multi...MARIAH CAREY CELLAR..to much space between the two and takes away from the punch.
.Delivery/wording- 3-Once again see above the wording was off due to the choice of words, and the space between multi to multi in the last line made it not hit.
.Multis-4 Multis did match, but werent the best selection, and they were few and far between.
.Punches-5-there were punches in this , nothing too strong but they were there,,
.Readablility-6 once again this is a flow problem... it wasnt too much clutter,
.Entire bar relevance -4 your first bar had nothing to do with the topic, if you want to add punches to a bar, try to make them connect on topic with the last bar.

Grade - 41%

Teachers Advice

Work on not forcing the multis, if it doesnt read smooth to you, then cross it out, try to stay on topic with the topic the entire bar, dont have soo much space between multi and multi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EDS View Post
Like heads or a "beer?" I "STILL CRACK OPEN" KILL RAP NOISES, cause if its snakes in the grass?you "STILL LACK POISON!" bite a rap? You DRILL BACK FOAMIN, for that bread you need, sober up. Get shot. Too REAL? BLACK...TOASTED! Try n STEAL THAT FLOW ISH? you can beg when I grab your leg. Pertend it's a keg, my MEALS TAPPED FLOWING.
Flow- 4-Ait the flow wasnt bad.... the verse flowed decent, work on the word choice and try to lose some of the fancy designs.
.Delivery/wording-4- the delivery wasnt bad but the wording was terrible, mainly due to word choice.... REAL? BLACK...TOASTED!....Pertend it's a keg, my MEALS TAPPED FLOWING. i get the punch... but the way it was worded was bad... the word choice was bad which messed up the delivery
.Multis-5- Once again there were alot of multis but alot of them were forced... try not to force them, read it aloud to make sure it makes sense
.Punches- 5- there were punches,but they werent that dope, keep up the same consistancy, but try to be a little more direct.
.Readablility-4 the readability wasnt bad,but the way the multis flow messed up the read.
.Entire bar relevance-7 i noticed you stayed on topic for the most part, good job,

Grade- 48%
Teachers Advice

work on not forcing the multis... read it aloud... lose some of the designs... good job staying on topic... try not to force a concept. READ IT ALOUD.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FiNAL WoRD View Post
ud 'do anything for a high'', one day you'll Drown-in-vomit so stop n think, u aint never workin shit aint 'Never earned a chip', he aint never bin Proud at all his accomplishments? nahh! hes always 'lookin for sympathy in the bars' that he Drown all his sob Sorrows in..but my shots are piff, its like a Mouth of chronic/a shot of criss with a remaining ounce of pot pitched after you down a shot wit vodka its!, gottem 'throwin back at random' now hes 'In need of help'...alcoholics anonymous

@Erupt , shup shuuuun
Flow-7-ait the flow wasnt bad at all. flowed pretty smooth, had a small issue when reading, use some type of "/" or "." for pauses at the end of each main multi set otherwise the reader might get lost in it.
.Delivery/swag-6 delivery was decent, what messed up your score is the delivery on the last bar... the multis werent set up right for it to hit with its full effect.
.Multis-7- multis were there... try to use more extensive multi sets, that will boost ya score.
.Punches-5-the punches werent great, the sympathy behind his bars punch was actually better than the alcohol anon punch..... if you can i would lose the "....." before you got to that punch... it just seems like you cant find a way to word it properly.
.Readablility- 7-once again find a better way to seperate the main multis, that comes with delivery, other than that it was decent.
.Entire bar relevance -9 - you did a great job with this, the entire bar almost was relevent...... GOOD JOB.

Grade-68% + 5pts extra credit... 73%

Teachers Advice
Work on structure, so that it reads smoother if you plan to not cap your multis... Try to use longer multi sets, up the creativity of the punches, also try to fix the delivery to maximize the impact of the punch.

[quote=Mind Fuck;864346]A -shot? What you WANT W/ FUCK?? Thought that you was weiser cause your BUZZING BUD.. guess I'll show you WHAT IS UP when showing you your 'too titty' to duke wit me bringing new meaning to DOUBLE CUPPED//


@Erupt
Flow- 8- ait flow was smooth, was a smooth read.
.Delivery/swag-8 delivery was good, i would have added another multi set to the last bar to make it hit harder......
.Multis-6-multis were there mainly in the last bar, bud lets try to use longer multi sets, the set you used here was 2 syllables, the middle of it didnt rhyme, use atleast 3 rhyming syllables in a text verse.
.Punches- 7-Punches were there, first was worded good, good job by adding two in there, they werent exactly heavyweight tho, still decent.
.Readablility-8 very readable verse here... had no problem with that..
.Entire bar relevance - 9 you stayed on point with this.

Grade-77% - GREAT JOB! ONE MORE SCORE OVER 75 PERCENT AND YOU GRADUATE FROM THE FRESHMAN CLASS!

Teachers Advice

Use longer multi sets, try to incorporate more of an audio flow with the inner multis, up the creativity, also work on the delivery, knowing when and where to place multis to make them hit harder.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Molly View Post
K. Just a second give me 3 minutes.

---------- Post added at 05:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:57 PM ----------

This clown needs to 'chill-out'! like SKIING ATTIRE.. just FLEXXIN like he's MEAN and does more 'IMPRESSIONS in the RING' than a C.Z. DeSIGNER/ His 8 line battles? the READING IS FIRE.. for HALF THE DROP, THEN GETS WEAK! so if he 'HAS A SHOT, w/ SIX-TEENS' he was DRINKING WITH MINORS!!!/
Cz is cubic zirconia btw..
Flow-9-okay the flow was dope here, good job
.Delivery/swag-7-delivery was good, could have been better on the last line,
.Multis-8-multis were there, and actually pretty damn good
.Punches-7- the opener was better than the closer, the closer was a little mediocre for my taste
.Readablility- 9 , it was very readable
.Entire bar relevance 6- first bar didnt relate to the subject at hand , try to stay on topic for the whole time

Grade-77%- Great job! one more week over 75% and you will advance into sophomore status!

Teachers Advice


What took away from your punch score was the fact it didnt relate to the entire bar..... thats what hurt your score here... multis were good, add a little more of an audio feel to them and you will be right there.... Keep the entire bar on point!

Last edited by Erupt da Monsta; 12-03-2012 at 05:31 PM.
Offline  
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:04 PM
Erupt da Monsta Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 8,056
Mentioned: 1899 Post(s)
Tagged: 85 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
24 Won / 4 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
64 Won / 15 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
Default

.....
Reply With Quote
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:04 PM   #35
 
Erupt da Monsta Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!
Estimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
24 Won / 4 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
64 Won / 15 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Voted: 96 audio / 723 text
Posts: 8,056
Mentioned: 1899 Post(s)
Tagged: 85 Thread(s)


Default

.....
Offline  
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:08 PM
BLNK
Guest
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Default

@Erupt

You skipped mine.

Is it because you won't battle me? =/
Reply With Quote
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:08 PM   #36
 
BLNK
Guest
 
Voted: 0 audio / 0 text
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Default

@Erupt

You skipped mine.

Is it because you won't battle me? =/
 
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:08 PM
Phroxen
Hall Of Famer
Moderator
2x Grand Champion
One Bar Legend
Cypher Champion
Scheme Champion
Concept Champion
One Bar Champion

3x One Bar King
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 922
Mentioned: 643 Post(s)
Tagged: 43 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
3 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.96/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.96/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
135 Won / 13 Lost
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BLNK
He's trying to "Kick It" but hasn't mastered the hand motions, that means he won't keep those "Two Arms Together" if he were acting out hand holding. Homie's a queer, he'll start showing his fear... Backing down, then bolting. So if he don't wanna "Be 'Ere" then I'm 'Cracking The Can Open.'(Beer.)
[Flow]: 6/10 - You tried to fit too many words in each line, so the flow was choppy.
[Delivery]: 6/10 - You showed some confidence, but nothing overly aggressive.
[Multis]: 7/10 - This would've scored higher, but there were a few flaws I noticed. One being "backing down then bolting" doesn't match the syllable count for the rest of your scheme.. also the slant rhymes were very slanted which sounded alright but requires far less effort. "Homie's a queer" was just filler to both have an internal scheme and attempt a setup for more use of the main scheme but it was lazily worded.
[Punches]: 5/10 - Both punches needed work, specifically with execution. The first (arms / hand) had a good concept, but telling someone they won't keep two arms together isn't a powerful diss at all. The last (beer / can) was just awkward. Be 'ere =/= Beer.. and on top of that, the wording you used to describe what I'm assuming is hitting his head was poor.
[Readability]: 7/10 - Up until the mismatched main scheme in the middle and the Beer wordplay, I was feeling it.. then it began to read a bit weird. When the flaws are so apparent like that, especially near the end, it takes steam away from your entire bar.
[Entire bar relevance]: 6/10 - The topic was mentioned once in the end, and it seemed as if it was just slipped in as a last resort to tie in the topic.

[Additional Tips]: Be more concise. I know you like to use correct grammar and all that... but get your points across a little sooner in the bar. Also, NEVER force wordplay... you usually excel in that department, but "Be 'Ere" was wack. Straight up. Also, take a little more time on your internal schemes.. don't just add them to add them.

[GRADE]: 62%



Quote:
Originally Posted by Path
Im tired of hearing these PRICKS ARE HOT, so i'll GRIP THA LOT ... CLIPS AH' LOCKED, n it dont matter if ur QUICK AH’ NOT, cuz when I PICK THA SHOT, We’ll c em 'go down faster' than an Italian LIQUOR SPOT (Italian lick her spot)
[Flow]: 8/10 - It flowed nicely.. not perfectly, but nicely.
[Delivery]: 5/10 - Average.
[Multis]: 5/10 - The syllable count was solid and everything rhymed, but the vocabulary was extremely limited. You used "tha" twice and "ah" twice.. honestly those were all filler rhymes with no impact.
[Punches]: 4/10 - Below average punch here. Go down faster than an Italian Lick her spot.. really, what the hell is that referencing? Not only was the wording weird, but the actual punch had zero sting.
[Readability]: 6/10 - It was a clear read but it seemed too remedial for a score higher than slightly above average.
[Entire bar relevance]: 5/10 - The topic was mentioned once, at the end.. while the setups had little to do with the topic, especially the entire first half (everything before "pick tha shot").

[Additional Tips]: Put more thought into your schemes. Your flow is on point, but the actual rhyming words were very weak. Also, avoid empty disses like "prick" in your schemes because they're regarded as filler. Read your wordplay aloud after you write it and make sure it reads correctly for both meanings, not just one.

[GRADE]: 55%


Quote:
Originally Posted by ~SHINIGAMI~
I keep my "Bars Open" for any ballers willin' to TAKE THE SHOTS, and guaranteed the "heat sensation" that'll leave these rookies with a bitter face as if they TASTED SCOTCH! I FOLD-CATS for everything I bring is COKE-JACK. see how you clowns be TALKIN' TOO SOON cuz if this PRO-SNAP/SCHNAPP the "Punch" will give ya a "WALK ON THE MOON"
[Flow]: 5/10 - The flow was nearly nonexistent.. far too many words in the bars for it to be smooth.
[Delivery]: 6/10 - Decent confidence but nothing game-ending.
[Multis]: 5/10 - Work on the vocabulary in your schemes because it seemed too simple. Also snap =/= Schnapps.. they don't even rhyme, nor do they even sound similar. (Schnapps rhymes with pops, tops, cops, stops, etc..)
[Punches]: 5/10 - Open bars and taking shots did nothing for me. Same with the scotch line.. heat sensation giving bitter faces? Nah. The Coke/Jack needed a better setup for it to do damage, and the last bar also had a very weak setup for a punch that did next to no damage.
[Readability]: 5/10 - A few mistakes cost you here. First, the snap/Schnapps thing was a total eye-sore. "guranteed the heat sensation that'll leave these rookies with a bitter face" - That's fragmented and doesn't make sense as is, plus rookies is plural so they'd have faces, not one face. "for everything I bring" - This sounded way too proper considering you're using slang like clowns, baller, and coke.. then you pull some Shakespearean type shit when you said "for everything".
[Entire bar relevance]: 7/10 - Tons of references in your bars to the topic, even if they didn't connect, they were there and effort was shown.

[Additional Tips]: Be careful with what you put in quotations.. people expect wordplay to be in quotes, and when it isn't it takes a lot of focus off of your bar. Also, make sure you know your voice when you're writing (or spitting). What I mean by that is... if you want to use slang like "clowns be talkin" then write your whole verse with that voice.. switching mid bar and speaking properly looks weird.

[GRADE]: 55%


Quote:
Originally Posted by MadVerbs
Ayo, you claim that you can ''Handle Your Own'' ..then it should take LOTS TO DROP YA so why are you always that ''Drunk Bitch Under The Table'' from a few SHOTS OF VODKA!?
If you think that you'll WIN YOU'RE DUMB & stop talking money because you've BEEN A BUM & with ''Shots I'll Leave You Lit'' ..you're not drinking GIN OR RUM!
[Flow]: 4/10 - It was ultra choppy.. WAY too many words were forced in your bars which squashed any chance of it being smooth.
[Delivery]: 4/10 - Below average. When you attemped to be aggresive it just sounded awkward.
[Multis]: 5/10 - Up the vocab. Everything rhymed but it lacked complexity.. try throwing in some inner schemes along with your main schemes.
[Punches]: 4/10 - Below average. "handle your own" and "drunk bitch under the table" don't deserve quotes because they aren't referencing anything else. The "lit" punch, though it made sense, was far too simple to have an impact.
[Readability]: 5/10 - Average. No grammatical or structural flaws but it was too verbose as I mentioned earlier.
[Entire bar relevance]: 5/10 - You had the ideas but they just weren't executed well.

[Additional Tips]: Don't use the first punch that comes to mind because it usually won't be as good as the next one(s) you think of. Also, keep wordplay in quotes and everything else out of them.

[GRADE]: 45%


Quote:
Originally Posted by Enfinite
Your "bars were weak off the launch" and NEVA LANDED, you'll drop like HARD LIQUOR when "Shots drop" from bad "BAR" TENDERS, face it, a simple "90 degree flip of the wrist" won't make this battle LEVEL HANDED!!!
[Flow]: 3/10 - Below average. Your main scheme was spaced too far apart for it to even work. When I reached the pair to your main scheme at the end of the bar, it was as if it didn't fit any other scheme because you took too long to spit it out. Throw more multies in the bars, and make sure they're placed correctly. Either that, or stick with one scheme throughout.
[Delivery]: 4/10 - The thoughts seemed sporadic, and nothing left a lasting impression.
[Multis]: 4/10 - Only four examples here, one of which needed a different pronunciation to even work (neva).
[Punches]: 3/10 - Your first punch applies to your own line, because that didn't land either.. there was no setup to allow it to make any sense. You used drop in your setup in the next line to describe "shots drop"... that's a double no-no. And defining what level handed means by saying your wrist turns was just awful. Not good at all.
[Readablility]: 4/10 - "bars were weak off the launch and never landed" was just a forced way to start your bar. You were grasping for an idea that wasn't there. The double-drop usage I mentioned earlier was cringe-worthy. The last idea was also forced.. this was hard to get through.
[Entire bar relevance]: 4/10 - You had ideas, and tried to incorporate the topic.. but as far as relevance goes, this was all over the place.

[Additional Tips]: Work on the structure of your bars. Like I said, when your scheme starts in one bar and isn't seen until the next one, with nothing to connect them, you will lose the reader. Also, try not to use the same word twice in a bar (or in a verse for that matter). There are tons of words to choose from... don't pigeon-hole yourself.

[GRADE]: 36%
__________________

Read. Rate. Revel.



Rage Revisited.

Last edited by Phroxen; 11-28-2012 at 09:47 PM.
Reply With Quote
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:08 PM   #37
 
Phroxen
Hall Of Famer
Moderator
2x Grand Champion
One Bar Legend
Cypher Champion
Scheme Champion
Concept Champion
One Bar Champion

3x One Bar King
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
3 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.96/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.96/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
135 Won / 13 Lost
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Voted: 80 audio / 496 text
Posts: 922
Mentioned: 643 Post(s)
Tagged: 43 Thread(s)


Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BLNK
He's trying to "Kick It" but hasn't mastered the hand motions, that means he won't keep those "Two Arms Together" if he were acting out hand holding. Homie's a queer, he'll start showing his fear... Backing down, then bolting. So if he don't wanna "Be 'Ere" then I'm 'Cracking The Can Open.'(Beer.)
[Flow]: 6/10 - You tried to fit too many words in each line, so the flow was choppy.
[Delivery]: 6/10 - You showed some confidence, but nothing overly aggressive.
[Multis]: 7/10 - This would've scored higher, but there were a few flaws I noticed. One being "backing down then bolting" doesn't match the syllable count for the rest of your scheme.. also the slant rhymes were very slanted which sounded alright but requires far less effort. "Homie's a queer" was just filler to both have an internal scheme and attempt a setup for more use of the main scheme but it was lazily worded.
[Punches]: 5/10 - Both punches needed work, specifically with execution. The first (arms / hand) had a good concept, but telling someone they won't keep two arms together isn't a powerful diss at all. The last (beer / can) was just awkward. Be 'ere =/= Beer.. and on top of that, the wording you used to describe what I'm assuming is hitting his head was poor.
[Readability]: 7/10 - Up until the mismatched main scheme in the middle and the Beer wordplay, I was feeling it.. then it began to read a bit weird. When the flaws are so apparent like that, especially near the end, it takes steam away from your entire bar.
[Entire bar relevance]: 6/10 - The topic was mentioned once in the end, and it seemed as if it was just slipped in as a last resort to tie in the topic.

[Additional Tips]: Be more concise. I know you like to use correct grammar and all that... but get your points across a little sooner in the bar. Also, NEVER force wordplay... you usually excel in that department, but "Be 'Ere" was wack. Straight up. Also, take a little more time on your internal schemes.. don't just add them to add them.

[GRADE]: 62%



Quote:
Originally Posted by Path
Im tired of hearing these PRICKS ARE HOT, so i'll GRIP THA LOT ... CLIPS AH' LOCKED, n it dont matter if ur QUICK AH’ NOT, cuz when I PICK THA SHOT, We’ll c em 'go down faster' than an Italian LIQUOR SPOT (Italian lick her spot)
[Flow]: 8/10 - It flowed nicely.. not perfectly, but nicely.
[Delivery]: 5/10 - Average.
[Multis]: 5/10 - The syllable count was solid and everything rhymed, but the vocabulary was extremely limited. You used "tha" twice and "ah" twice.. honestly those were all filler rhymes with no impact.
[Punches]: 4/10 - Below average punch here. Go down faster than an Italian Lick her spot.. really, what the hell is that referencing? Not only was the wording weird, but the actual punch had zero sting.
[Readability]: 6/10 - It was a clear read but it seemed too remedial for a score higher than slightly above average.
[Entire bar relevance]: 5/10 - The topic was mentioned once, at the end.. while the setups had little to do with the topic, especially the entire first half (everything before "pick tha shot").

[Additional Tips]: Put more thought into your schemes. Your flow is on point, but the actual rhyming words were very weak. Also, avoid empty disses like "prick" in your schemes because they're regarded as filler. Read your wordplay aloud after you write it and make sure it reads correctly for both meanings, not just one.

[GRADE]: 55%


Quote:
Originally Posted by ~SHINIGAMI~
I keep my "Bars Open" for any ballers willin' to TAKE THE SHOTS, and guaranteed the "heat sensation" that'll leave these rookies with a bitter face as if they TASTED SCOTCH! I FOLD-CATS for everything I bring is COKE-JACK. see how you clowns be TALKIN' TOO SOON cuz if this PRO-SNAP/SCHNAPP the "Punch" will give ya a "WALK ON THE MOON"
[Flow]: 5/10 - The flow was nearly nonexistent.. far too many words in the bars for it to be smooth.
[Delivery]: 6/10 - Decent confidence but nothing game-ending.
[Multis]: 5/10 - Work on the vocabulary in your schemes because it seemed too simple. Also snap =/= Schnapps.. they don't even rhyme, nor do they even sound similar. (Schnapps rhymes with pops, tops, cops, stops, etc..)
[Punches]: 5/10 - Open bars and taking shots did nothing for me. Same with the scotch line.. heat sensation giving bitter faces? Nah. The Coke/Jack needed a better setup for it to do damage, and the last bar also had a very weak setup for a punch that did next to no damage.
[Readability]: 5/10 - A few mistakes cost you here. First, the snap/Schnapps thing was a total eye-sore. "guranteed the heat sensation that'll leave these rookies with a bitter face" - That's fragmented and doesn't make sense as is, plus rookies is plural so they'd have faces, not one face. "for everything I bring" - This sounded way too proper considering you're using slang like clowns, baller, and coke.. then you pull some Shakespearean type shit when you said "for everything".
[Entire bar relevance]: 7/10 - Tons of references in your bars to the topic, even if they didn't connect, they were there and effort was shown.

[Additional Tips]: Be careful with what you put in quotations.. people expect wordplay to be in quotes, and when it isn't it takes a lot of focus off of your bar. Also, make sure you know your voice when you're writing (or spitting). What I mean by that is... if you want to use slang like "clowns be talkin" then write your whole verse with that voice.. switching mid bar and speaking properly looks weird.

[GRADE]: 55%


Quote:
Originally Posted by MadVerbs
Ayo, you claim that you can ''Handle Your Own'' ..then it should take LOTS TO DROP YA so why are you always that ''Drunk Bitch Under The Table'' from a few SHOTS OF VODKA!?
If you think that you'll WIN YOU'RE DUMB & stop talking money because you've BEEN A BUM & with ''Shots I'll Leave You Lit'' ..you're not drinking GIN OR RUM!
[Flow]: 4/10 - It was ultra choppy.. WAY too many words were forced in your bars which squashed any chance of it being smooth.
[Delivery]: 4/10 - Below average. When you attemped to be aggresive it just sounded awkward.
[Multis]: 5/10 - Up the vocab. Everything rhymed but it lacked complexity.. try throwing in some inner schemes along with your main schemes.
[Punches]: 4/10 - Below average. "handle your own" and "drunk bitch under the table" don't deserve quotes because they aren't referencing anything else. The "lit" punch, though it made sense, was far too simple to have an impact.
[Readability]: 5/10 - Average. No grammatical or structural flaws but it was too verbose as I mentioned earlier.
[Entire bar relevance]: 5/10 - You had the ideas but they just weren't executed well.

[Additional Tips]: Don't use the first punch that comes to mind because it usually won't be as good as the next one(s) you think of. Also, keep wordplay in quotes and everything else out of them.

[GRADE]: 45%


Quote:
Originally Posted by Enfinite
Your "bars were weak off the launch" and NEVA LANDED, you'll drop like HARD LIQUOR when "Shots drop" from bad "BAR" TENDERS, face it, a simple "90 degree flip of the wrist" won't make this battle LEVEL HANDED!!!
[Flow]: 3/10 - Below average. Your main scheme was spaced too far apart for it to even work. When I reached the pair to your main scheme at the end of the bar, it was as if it didn't fit any other scheme because you took too long to spit it out. Throw more multies in the bars, and make sure they're placed correctly. Either that, or stick with one scheme throughout.
[Delivery]: 4/10 - The thoughts seemed sporadic, and nothing left a lasting impression.
[Multis]: 4/10 - Only four examples here, one of which needed a different pronunciation to even work (neva).
[Punches]: 3/10 - Your first punch applies to your own line, because that didn't land either.. there was no setup to allow it to make any sense. You used drop in your setup in the next line to describe "shots drop"... that's a double no-no. And defining what level handed means by saying your wrist turns was just awful. Not good at all.
[Readablility]: 4/10 - "bars were weak off the launch and never landed" was just a forced way to start your bar. You were grasping for an idea that wasn't there. The double-drop usage I mentioned earlier was cringe-worthy. The last idea was also forced.. this was hard to get through.
[Entire bar relevance]: 4/10 - You had ideas, and tried to incorporate the topic.. but as far as relevance goes, this was all over the place.

[Additional Tips]: Work on the structure of your bars. Like I said, when your scheme starts in one bar and isn't seen until the next one, with nothing to connect them, you will lose the reader. Also, try not to use the same word twice in a bar (or in a verse for that matter). There are tons of words to choose from... don't pigeon-hole yourself.

[GRADE]: 36%
__________________

Read. Rate. Revel.



Rage Revisited.

Last edited by Phroxen; 11-28-2012 at 09:47 PM.
Offline  
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:11 PM
Erupt da Monsta Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 8,056
Mentioned: 1899 Post(s)
Tagged: 85 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
24 Won / 4 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
64 Won / 15 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BLNK View Post
@Erupt

You skipped mine.

Is it because you won't battle me? =/
actually xen is breaking yours down this week, along with some others, he should have it posted soon.
Reply With Quote
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:11 PM   #38
 
Erupt da Monsta Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Erupt da Monsta is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!
Estimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.83/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
24 Won / 4 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.07/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
64 Won / 15 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Voted: 96 audio / 723 text
Posts: 8,056
Mentioned: 1899 Post(s)
Tagged: 85 Thread(s)


Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BLNK View Post
@Erupt

You skipped mine.

Is it because you won't battle me? =/
actually xen is breaking yours down this week, along with some others, he should have it posted soon.
Offline  
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:43 PM
Phroxen
Hall Of Famer
Moderator
2x Grand Champion
One Bar Legend
Cypher Champion
Scheme Champion
Concept Champion
One Bar Champion

3x One Bar King
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 922
Mentioned: 643 Post(s)
Tagged: 43 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
3 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.96/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.96/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
135 Won / 13 Lost
Default

@BLNK @MadVerbs @Enfinite @Path @~SHINIGAMI~

Your grades are posted.
__________________

Read. Rate. Revel.



Rage Revisited.
Reply With Quote
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:43 PM   #39
 
Phroxen
Hall Of Famer
Moderator
2x Grand Champion
One Bar Legend
Cypher Champion
Scheme Champion
Concept Champion
One Bar Champion

3x One Bar King
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.38/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
3 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.38/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.96/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.96/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
135 Won / 13 Lost
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Voted: 80 audio / 496 text
Posts: 922
Mentioned: 643 Post(s)
Tagged: 43 Thread(s)


Default

@BLNK @MadVerbs @Enfinite @Path @~SHINIGAMI~

Your grades are posted.
Offline  
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:54 PM
BLNK
Guest
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Default

Crack-ing-the-can-o-pen
Back-ing-down-then-bolt-ing.

The syllables match? :S It's the annunciation that doesn't match. The sounds of the syllables, if you will. Then having the short I sound, where as the rest of the set had the long a sound.

Last edited by BLNK; 11-28-2012 at 07:57 PM.
Reply With Quote
Unread 11-28-2012, 07:54 PM   #40
 
BLNK
Guest
 
Voted: 0 audio / 0 text
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Default

Crack-ing-the-can-o-pen
Back-ing-down-then-bolt-ing.

The syllables match? :S It's the annunciation that doesn't match. The sounds of the syllables, if you will. Then having the short I sound, where as the rest of the set had the long a sound.

Last edited by BLNK; 11-28-2012 at 07:57 PM.
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
dead

Thread Tools
Display

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:45 AM.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

 

[ LetsBeef Instagram | LetsBeef Facebook | LetsBeef Twitter | LetsBeef Youtube | Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions | FAQ | Contact Support ]
Some members of the public may use explicit lyrics in the performance of their art, so please be advised that such language, if any, may not be appropriate for minors.
Graphics by Pixel Dreams · Site © 2024 LetsBeef.com
 
(new)
no new posts