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05-26-2015, 11:45 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,432
Mentioned: 963 Post(s)
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Ranked Text Record 145 Won / 55 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 6 Won / 3 Lost
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Dono came with a good story he executed. Lockhart came with a good story as well but I feel there was just the slightest disconnect in there somewhere. Something was missing tying together the son seeing his father kill people then immediately wanting to kill his father. Some more development was needed there for that quick jump.
VOTE: Dono
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05-26-2015, 11:45 AM
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#11
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Ranked Text Record 145 Won / 55 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 6 Won / 3 Lost
Join Date: Oct 2010
Voted:
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Posts: 5,432
Mentioned: 963 Post(s)
Tagged: 33 Thread(s)
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Dono came with a good story he executed. Lockhart came with a good story as well but I feel there was just the slightest disconnect in there somewhere. Something was missing tying together the son seeing his father kill people then immediately wanting to kill his father. Some more development was needed there for that quick jump.
VOTE: Dono
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05-27-2015, 08:29 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,951
Mentioned: 39 Post(s)
Tagged: 2 Thread(s)
Ranked Audio Record 65 Won / 13 Lost
Ranked Text Record 41 Won / 14 Lost
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Wow this was amazing...props to both. Not voting just had to show some love after reading, GL guys
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05-27-2015, 08:29 AM
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#12
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Ranked Audio Record 65 Won / 13 Lost
Ranked Text Record 41 Won / 14 Lost
Join Date: Apr 2011
Voted:
323
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Posts: 1,951
Mentioned: 39 Post(s)
Tagged: 2 Thread(s)
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Wow this was amazing...props to both. Not voting just had to show some love after reading, GL guys
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06-07-2015, 12:40 AM
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@ Manhattan @ ILLoKWENT @ exZACHly i know yall didnt plan to vote on this but this has to close, would be greatly appreciated.
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06-07-2015, 12:40 AM
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#13
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@ Manhattan @ ILLoKWENT @ exZACHly i know yall didnt plan to vote on this but this has to close, would be greatly appreciated.
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06-11-2015, 03:51 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 10,280
Mentioned: 2492 Post(s)
Tagged: 46 Thread(s)
Ranked Text Record 97 Won / 75 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 6 Won / 2 Lost
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Does this still need votes?
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06-11-2015, 03:51 PM
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#14
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LB Historian
Ranked Text Record 97 Won / 75 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 6 Won / 2 Lost
Join Date: Aug 2006
Voted:
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Posts: 10,280
Mentioned: 2492 Post(s)
Tagged: 46 Thread(s)
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Does this still need votes?
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06-11-2015, 03:59 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,740
Mentioned: 782 Post(s)
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Ranked Audio Record 11 Won / 8 Lost
Exclusive Audio Record 1 Won / 0 Lost
Ranked Text Record 35 Won / 37 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 1 Won / 1 Lost
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06-11-2015, 03:59 PM
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#15
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Ranked Audio Record 11 Won / 8 Lost
Exclusive Audio Record 1 Won / 0 Lost
Ranked Text Record 35 Won / 37 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 1 Won / 1 Lost
Join Date: Apr 2011
Voted:
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06-12-2015, 05:30 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 10,280
Mentioned: 2492 Post(s)
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Ranked Text Record 97 Won / 75 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 6 Won / 2 Lost
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Dono: Overall it was great, the flow was completely on point and the rhyming seemed basic but it wasn't which is hard to achieve. The letter had a lot of creative imagery and was by itself an interesting anecdote. My only critique would be why Richard was writing to John at all if he was already dead but I guess it could be interpreted as a coping mechanism for Richard to move on in writing a letter which would never be mailed or read by his lover. Another way to look at it would be that the picture is what Richard is imaging John being killed in his dreams and is writing to let John know his feelings just in case John dies tragically. That's what I liked about this piece it could be interpreted many ways but either way it's solid, only the background is what's questioned not the actual content of your vision. Good job on this man.
Lockhart: First of all I liked that you named it, there's something about naming something that immediately gives you a category in your mind about the piece. Overall I liked the story even if it was a bit clique and predictable. I understand you didn't have the many lines to fully describe the situation but it's a lot of information to get across. I feel like you could've just focused on one aspect of this story and given it a better viewpoint, more descriptive and with more imagery. Either way it was a good solid piece and you definitely have potential as far as story telling goes.
Vote: Dono, I felt like he conveyed his piece more accurately and overall just a bigger impact on me. That's not to say Lockhart had a shitty piece by any means, his writing astounds me but I felt like he had some flaws and structurally could've relayed the message in a better way.
In the end it's all based on opinion, there's no "science" to this so it really comes down to which one made you think more and feel something beyond the grammatical phrases, types of writing, speaking devices, etc.
Good job to both these guys, you're both very very good at this.
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06-12-2015, 05:30 PM
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#16
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LB Historian
Ranked Text Record 97 Won / 75 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 6 Won / 2 Lost
Join Date: Aug 2006
Voted:
98
audio / 587
text
Posts: 10,280
Mentioned: 2492 Post(s)
Tagged: 46 Thread(s)
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Dono: Overall it was great, the flow was completely on point and the rhyming seemed basic but it wasn't which is hard to achieve. The letter had a lot of creative imagery and was by itself an interesting anecdote. My only critique would be why Richard was writing to John at all if he was already dead but I guess it could be interpreted as a coping mechanism for Richard to move on in writing a letter which would never be mailed or read by his lover. Another way to look at it would be that the picture is what Richard is imaging John being killed in his dreams and is writing to let John know his feelings just in case John dies tragically. That's what I liked about this piece it could be interpreted many ways but either way it's solid, only the background is what's questioned not the actual content of your vision. Good job on this man.
Lockhart: First of all I liked that you named it, there's something about naming something that immediately gives you a category in your mind about the piece. Overall I liked the story even if it was a bit clique and predictable. I understand you didn't have the many lines to fully describe the situation but it's a lot of information to get across. I feel like you could've just focused on one aspect of this story and given it a better viewpoint, more descriptive and with more imagery. Either way it was a good solid piece and you definitely have potential as far as story telling goes.
Vote: Dono, I felt like he conveyed his piece more accurately and overall just a bigger impact on me. That's not to say Lockhart had a shitty piece by any means, his writing astounds me but I felt like he had some flaws and structurally could've relayed the message in a better way.
In the end it's all based on opinion, there's no "science" to this so it really comes down to which one made you think more and feel something beyond the grammatical phrases, types of writing, speaking devices, etc.
Good job to both these guys, you're both very very good at this.
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06-12-2015, 06:22 PM
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,087
Mentioned: 3616 Post(s)
Tagged: 76 Thread(s)
Ranked Audio Record 4 Won / 0 Lost
Ranked Text Record 30 Won / 8 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 1 Won / 1 Lost
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As stipulated in the rules, 3-1 equals a TKO. @ Dono has 3 votes and @ Lockhart has 1 vote so the match concludes. Big shout out to both for showing us a dope topical battle and thanks to all who voted. @ Dono retains the LBTT Championship.
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06-12-2015, 06:22 PM
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#17
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Ranked Audio Record 4 Won / 0 Lost
Ranked Text Record 30 Won / 8 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 1 Won / 1 Lost
Join Date: May 2011
Voted:
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Posts: 6,087
Mentioned: 3616 Post(s)
Tagged: 76 Thread(s)
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As stipulated in the rules, 3-1 equals a TKO. @ Dono has 3 votes and @ Lockhart has 1 vote so the match concludes. Big shout out to both for showing us a dope topical battle and thanks to all who voted. @ Dono retains the LBTT Championship.
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01-04-2020, 04:05 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Ranked Audio Record 32 Won / 5 Lost
Exclusive Audio Record 3 Won / 1 Lost
Ranked Text Record 187 Won / 34 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 11 Won / 5 Lost
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Counted. TBM
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01-04-2020, 04:05 PM
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#18
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Ranked Audio Record 32 Won / 5 Lost
Exclusive Audio Record 3 Won / 1 Lost
Ranked Text Record 187 Won / 34 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 11 Won / 5 Lost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Voted:
241
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Posts: 28,182
Mentioned: 3426 Post(s)
Tagged: 69 Thread(s)
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Counted. TBM
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