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Black Book

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  #1  
Unread 05-03-2014, 04:57 PM
Wonderbred
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 382 Post(s)
Tagged: 27 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
18 Won / 17 Lost
Default WOTW: Dave vs. Black Book (Dave wins 3-0)

Dave vs. Black Book

Rules
Verses are due Wednesday, May 14.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.

Topic



__________________
#FreeRohaan

"What the fuck is this dude even bustin' rhymes for?
You rap as good as George Bush justifies war,
And this dead broke bastard gets no laughter
Out late in Central Park lookin' for trenchcoat flashers

-Kid Twist

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fidel Z View Post
And Lastly...

Member Of The Year - Wonderbred.
Reply With Quote
Unread 05-03-2014, 04:57 PM   #1
 
Wonderbred
Estimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
18 Won / 17 Lost
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Voted: 0 audio / 85 text
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 382 Post(s)
Tagged: 27 Thread(s)


Default WOTW: Dave vs. Black Book (Dave wins 3-0)

Dave vs. Black Book

Rules
Verses are due Wednesday, May 14.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.

Topic



__________________
#FreeRohaan

"What the fuck is this dude even bustin' rhymes for?
You rap as good as George Bush justifies war,
And this dead broke bastard gets no laughter
Out late in Central Park lookin' for trenchcoat flashers

-Kid Twist

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fidel Z View Post
And Lastly...

Member Of The Year - Wonderbred.
Offline  
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  #2  
Unread 05-03-2014, 07:35 PM
Hubert Cumberdale
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You mahfuckaz always love copy and pasting my shit

Check. About time BB
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Unread 05-03-2014, 07:35 PM   #2
 
Hubert Cumberdale
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You mahfuckaz always love copy and pasting my shit

Check. About time BB
 
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  #3  
Unread 05-04-2014, 07:35 AM
FAME
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,827
Mentioned: 538 Post(s)
Tagged: 30 Thread(s)
Send a message via Skype™ to FAME
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
3 Won / 1 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.07/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.07/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.07/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
18 Won / 4 Lost
Default

Damn, I wish I got this picture in mine
__________________


MIXTAPES

Aint Sleepin', Stay Dreamin'

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Unread 05-04-2014, 07:35 AM   #3
 
FAME
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.23/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
3 Won / 1 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.23/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.07/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.07/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.07/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
18 Won / 4 Lost
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Voted: 0 audio / 32 text
Posts: 1,827
Mentioned: 538 Post(s)
Tagged: 30 Thread(s)


Send a message via Skype™ to FAME
Default

Damn, I wish I got this picture in mine
__________________


MIXTAPES

Aint Sleepin', Stay Dreamin'

Offline  
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  #4  
Unread 05-04-2014, 10:38 AM
Black Book
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,432
Mentioned: 963 Post(s)
Tagged: 33 Thread(s)
Send a message via MSN to Black Book
Estimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
145 Won / 55 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
6 Won / 3 Lost
Default

Life is a flat circle destined to endlessly repeat and each revolution causes humanity to senselessly deplete.
And each evolution causes a new species to relentlessly compete and another species to defenselessly retreat.
Man used to fear beast; we ranked lower on the ladder.
But then we evolved; we became wiser, stronger, faster.
And energy cannot be created or destroyed, only recycled; we cannot prolong the matter.
Power will return to beast and the scales will shift.
The world won't stop turning, seismic plates will still shift, but in humanity, you will find the real rift.
Man will return to animalistic states and regain some of their animalistic traits.
Are you a man or beast? Beast or man? It's an identity crisis.
Life is a state of conscious living and when you die, energy rises.
But unconsciously man gives away it's energy; look in mirror and we might tend to be lifeless.
The circle keeps spinning in flat space geometrically sealing fates.
Is man killing man? Or are those apes killing apes?
We are stuck, infinitely trying to not be beasts yet losing humanity.
Our own greed and lust for power is chewing through sanity.
The circle keeps spinning and we get more and more lost with every revolution.
Man and beasts are the same but are they both man or beasts? That's the on set confusion.
The cycle will never end, for energy cannot be created or destroyed, only recycled.
The poison is in us and we can't get rid of it; when we die, it's only reviled.
__________________

Last edited by Black Book; 05-04-2014 at 11:27 AM.
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Unread 05-04-2014, 10:38 AM   #4
 
Black Book
Estimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
145 Won / 55 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
6 Won / 3 Lost
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Voted: 0 audio / 529 text
Posts: 5,432
Mentioned: 963 Post(s)
Tagged: 33 Thread(s)


Send a message via MSN to Black Book
Default

Life is a flat circle destined to endlessly repeat and each revolution causes humanity to senselessly deplete.
And each evolution causes a new species to relentlessly compete and another species to defenselessly retreat.
Man used to fear beast; we ranked lower on the ladder.
But then we evolved; we became wiser, stronger, faster.
And energy cannot be created or destroyed, only recycled; we cannot prolong the matter.
Power will return to beast and the scales will shift.
The world won't stop turning, seismic plates will still shift, but in humanity, you will find the real rift.
Man will return to animalistic states and regain some of their animalistic traits.
Are you a man or beast? Beast or man? It's an identity crisis.
Life is a state of conscious living and when you die, energy rises.
But unconsciously man gives away it's energy; look in mirror and we might tend to be lifeless.
The circle keeps spinning in flat space geometrically sealing fates.
Is man killing man? Or are those apes killing apes?
We are stuck, infinitely trying to not be beasts yet losing humanity.
Our own greed and lust for power is chewing through sanity.
The circle keeps spinning and we get more and more lost with every revolution.
Man and beasts are the same but are they both man or beasts? That's the on set confusion.
The cycle will never end, for energy cannot be created or destroyed, only recycled.
The poison is in us and we can't get rid of it; when we die, it's only reviled.
__________________

Last edited by Black Book; 05-04-2014 at 11:27 AM.
Offline  
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  #5  
Unread 05-14-2014, 05:47 PM
Hubert Cumberdale
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I'll be posting roughly 10 hours from now. I don't know how that effects deadlines.
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Unread 05-14-2014, 05:47 PM   #5
 
Hubert Cumberdale
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I'll be posting roughly 10 hours from now. I don't know how that effects deadlines.
 
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  #6  
Unread 05-14-2014, 08:14 PM
Wonderbred
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 382 Post(s)
Tagged: 27 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
18 Won / 17 Lost
Default

@Dave no problem, I'm gonna be pretty flexible with the deadlines. I'd rather have a solid competitive battle a day later than DQ someone like a time Nazi.
__________________
#FreeRohaan

"What the fuck is this dude even bustin' rhymes for?
You rap as good as George Bush justifies war,
And this dead broke bastard gets no laughter
Out late in Central Park lookin' for trenchcoat flashers

-Kid Twist

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fidel Z View Post
And Lastly...

Member Of The Year - Wonderbred.
Reply With Quote
Unread 05-14-2014, 08:14 PM   #6
 
Wonderbred
Estimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
18 Won / 17 Lost
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Voted: 0 audio / 85 text
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 382 Post(s)
Tagged: 27 Thread(s)


Default

@Dave no problem, I'm gonna be pretty flexible with the deadlines. I'd rather have a solid competitive battle a day later than DQ someone like a time Nazi.
Offline  
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  #7  
Unread 05-15-2014, 05:16 AM
Hubert Cumberdale
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Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Default

Bishop’s Trout
I tramped through the marshlands, boots succumbing to floating fauna,
With a fly rod cast out to open water,
I would leave the city streets to reach this transcendental scene,
All stood still but for a cool, gentle breeze,
The only tug on my arm, was from the perch that I caught,
When the float plummeted down to the depths of the loch,
This was different, the forceful fish fled as I grasped the rod,
It would crack the logs as it thrashed along,
I’ve seen trout before, I’d never seen it as big,
The line stressed and pressed as I was reeling it in,
It’s weight was a match for my sizeable doubt,
But not long had passed before I tired it out,
From its fin I lifted, water dripped on my feet,
It was different to see such a mammoth amphibian just admitting defeat,
It’s eyes hung lower than the reeds they wade through,
It’s body and face tinted by the dullest grey hue,
It didn’t fight at all, it wasn’t worth the hassle,
It’s cheeks were scarred by accolades of battle,
Every hook that failed, every line that snapped,
Each time it prevailed, but now it’s time has passed,
No resistance was given, it inspired my thought;
Bishop’s trout just wanted all the fighting to stop.
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Unread 05-15-2014, 05:16 AM   #7
 
Hubert Cumberdale
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Voted: 0 audio / 0 text
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Mentioned: Post(s)
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Default

Bishop’s Trout
I tramped through the marshlands, boots succumbing to floating fauna,
With a fly rod cast out to open water,
I would leave the city streets to reach this transcendental scene,
All stood still but for a cool, gentle breeze,
The only tug on my arm, was from the perch that I caught,
When the float plummeted down to the depths of the loch,
This was different, the forceful fish fled as I grasped the rod,
It would crack the logs as it thrashed along,
I’ve seen trout before, I’d never seen it as big,
The line stressed and pressed as I was reeling it in,
It’s weight was a match for my sizeable doubt,
But not long had passed before I tired it out,
From its fin I lifted, water dripped on my feet,
It was different to see such a mammoth amphibian just admitting defeat,
It’s eyes hung lower than the reeds they wade through,
It’s body and face tinted by the dullest grey hue,
It didn’t fight at all, it wasn’t worth the hassle,
It’s cheeks were scarred by accolades of battle,
Every hook that failed, every line that snapped,
Each time it prevailed, but now it’s time has passed,
No resistance was given, it inspired my thought;
Bishop’s trout just wanted all the fighting to stop.
 
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  #8  
Unread 05-15-2014, 09:42 AM
Lockhart
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Default

God Bless and #BULLYSWAG
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Unread 05-15-2014, 09:42 AM   #8
 
Lockhart
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God Bless and #BULLYSWAG
 
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  #9  
Unread 05-19-2014, 09:15 PM
Wonderbred
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 382 Post(s)
Tagged: 27 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
18 Won / 17 Lost
Default

@Black Book: Your piece was pretty on point. You kind of took the more general symbolic route, which I'm not usually a fan of, but you pulled it off well. Rhyming and flow were solid. My favorite line was "The world won't stop turning, seismic plates will still shift, but in humanity, you will find the real rift." It was pretty thought-provoking and contained a lot of heavy stuff. My only real problem with your verse is that it didn't have any story or cohesive plot at all, which, in my opinion, is a pretty big part of topicals. The position you took wasn't bad, but it didn't really directly incorporate any details of the picture at all, which cost you some points in my book.

@Dave: You took a more literal, narrative route, and I think that helped you. Flow wasn't quite as good as BB in my opinon, but I think that might have been because of differences in accent. On top of that, you had lots of imagery, which was a big plus. I also thought the twist at the end was really original; most people would have just talked about the epic struggle with the shark and left it at that, but I really liked how you turned it around and made it so the shark had really given up at that point.

All in all, this was a clash of two styles, and I'm giving it to the one I thought addressed the topic better.
MVGT: Dave
__________________
#FreeRohaan

"What the fuck is this dude even bustin' rhymes for?
You rap as good as George Bush justifies war,
And this dead broke bastard gets no laughter
Out late in Central Park lookin' for trenchcoat flashers

-Kid Twist

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fidel Z View Post
And Lastly...

Member Of The Year - Wonderbred.
Reply With Quote
Unread 05-19-2014, 09:15 PM   #9
 
Wonderbred
Estimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
1 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.06/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
18 Won / 17 Lost
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Voted: 0 audio / 85 text
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 382 Post(s)
Tagged: 27 Thread(s)


Default

@Black Book: Your piece was pretty on point. You kind of took the more general symbolic route, which I'm not usually a fan of, but you pulled it off well. Rhyming and flow were solid. My favorite line was "The world won't stop turning, seismic plates will still shift, but in humanity, you will find the real rift." It was pretty thought-provoking and contained a lot of heavy stuff. My only real problem with your verse is that it didn't have any story or cohesive plot at all, which, in my opinion, is a pretty big part of topicals. The position you took wasn't bad, but it didn't really directly incorporate any details of the picture at all, which cost you some points in my book.

@Dave: You took a more literal, narrative route, and I think that helped you. Flow wasn't quite as good as BB in my opinon, but I think that might have been because of differences in accent. On top of that, you had lots of imagery, which was a big plus. I also thought the twist at the end was really original; most people would have just talked about the epic struggle with the shark and left it at that, but I really liked how you turned it around and made it so the shark had really given up at that point.

All in all, this was a clash of two styles, and I'm giving it to the one I thought addressed the topic better.
MVGT: Dave
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  #10  
Unread 05-19-2014, 10:12 PM
Lockhart
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Black Book: Solid piece. I thought your vocabulary and use of it was quite strong in this piece. Definitely a good story in terms of what actually happens with us as humans and animals. I felt your flow was lacking in some spots, but it definitely wasn't bad. Overall I felt this topical was quite solid.

Dave: You did a couple things differently from Black. For starters: You made it more so about the actual fish and the man instead of a broader spectrum involving humans and animals. With that, you also got more in to detail about what was going on with the fish and the man. It was quite the solid piece here as well. It flowed quite well in my opinion and the imagery was pretty good.

Overall? I have to go with who I feel got more in to detail as to what the topic was. MVGT: Dave.
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Unread 05-19-2014, 10:12 PM   #10
 
Lockhart
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Black Book: Solid piece. I thought your vocabulary and use of it was quite strong in this piece. Definitely a good story in terms of what actually happens with us as humans and animals. I felt your flow was lacking in some spots, but it definitely wasn't bad. Overall I felt this topical was quite solid.

Dave: You did a couple things differently from Black. For starters: You made it more so about the actual fish and the man instead of a broader spectrum involving humans and animals. With that, you also got more in to detail about what was going on with the fish and the man. It was quite the solid piece here as well. It flowed quite well in my opinion and the imagery was pretty good.

Overall? I have to go with who I feel got more in to detail as to what the topic was. MVGT: Dave.
 
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