2013 GC RD.4 ELOH_STACKz Vs. M U G G Z (M U G G Z wins 3-0)

[RULE]

Very close one here.

I'll do the feedback combined since you both had such similar drops. The things that stuck out to me were these (random thoughts but bare with me). Muggz i felt the vocab was a lil... not basic but repetitive. King, Kon, you said it soo often it started to ache on me. There are always ways to let the reader know who you are talking about without using the name everytime. You could of said "His Highness" instead of King you feel me? Its just adds a level of freshness to the piece. Felt your plot twist was nice but came a little later on the verse than i would of liked, i think if it had happened earlier you would of had more potent material to draw from for the final third of the verse. Elohyour story was similar and both had me from the start, bt i felt some of your wording was forced... (since when? WELL... OUR BIRTH/) that multi set alone looked really forced to fit the scheme, and another critque would be that your verse was structured more like a battle than a topical. You also had a twist in the final third which was nice but like Muggz was a little too late to really make the most of the plot you'd created. People almost seem like they HAVE to have a last minute plot twist when writing a topical, sometimes your better going for plot evolution rather than a cheap "surprise" twist. Anyyyywhoo both were solid here but i felt ones verse was slightly stronger and more enjoyable as a whole.

MVGT: Muggz.

1/

[RULE]

Very close one here.

I'll do the feedback combined since you both had such similar drops. The things that stuck out to me were these (random thoughts but bare with me). Muggz i felt the vocab was a lil... not basic but repetitive. King, Kon, you said it soo often it started to ache on me. There are always ways to let the reader know who you are talking about without using the name everytime. You could of said "His Highness" instead of King you feel me? Its just adds a level of freshness to the piece. Felt your plot twist was nice but came a little later on the verse than i would of liked, i think if it had happened earlier you would of had more potent material to draw from for the final third of the verse. Elohyour story was similar and both had me from the start, bt i felt some of your wording was forced... (since when? WELL... OUR BIRTH/) that multi set alone looked really forced to fit the scheme, and another critque would be that your verse was structured more like a battle than a topical. You also had a twist in the final third which was nice but like Muggz was a little too late to really make the most of the plot you'd created. People almost seem like they HAVE to have a last minute plot twist when writing a topical, sometimes your better going for plot evolution rather than a cheap "surprise" twist. Anyyyywhoo both were solid here but i felt ones verse was slightly stronger and more enjoyable as a whole.

MVGT: Muggz.

1/