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Unread 08-08-2013, 07:25 AM
Hubert Cumberdale
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Writer 1, flow was awesome throughout. I managed to keep on the same pace the entire way through without a stumble. There was even the throat, chin to broken rhyme, which usually comes off badly, but I instinctively said broke-en which is rare with that kind of rhyme. That's down to the way the whole piece was written. There was a few areas of the rhyme I was impressed with. It's for the most part a simplistic style of rhyming, but you managed to have a few areas where you still managed to be impressive through it, which again is a testament to your skill. The poetic techniques and writing styles where very good. Despite the flow and lyricism, this was very much a poetry spoken word piece.
Now for the main part, the story. I didn't really get into it until the end, which was a very clever direction to take it. You did alright at the start, but it took a long time to go into the details you did, for us to only find out "He's being changed by some radioactive things". The little last verse was definitely an awesome idea and closed it off well.

Writer 2, I think you took a risk with such an out there topic. With so many ways, I think this could be very hard to connect to, but you took it in one of the few ways that worked out well. I really liked the use of vocab throughout. It was a good example of some well thought out wording, but without making it seem like you're trying to sound smart. You were very strong in that aspect. The rhyming was really strong for the most part, but I feel that once or twice it seemed a little bit forced. Also with the flow, with so many different styles rocking around, I found it quite hard at times to hop in and out of the flow of each section. Like when you've got your verse, then a quick haiku, then a verse, it'd be fine. But you had I think 5 different styles rocking around and at times I got a little lost. Your wording stood out most of all though. I felt you had the best idea in the whole thing with the "final page of the history books" line.
The story was good. Although at heart it was a bit generic, touching on the downsides of society, you masked it quite well. I didn't feel you had the strongest connection to the picture. You had the in general apocalypse idea, but I don't feel you really brought too much of the picture through with you.

Overall, I felt this was awesome. Both were very different, but both were awesome. I was really impressed guys and you've outdone yourselves for the final here. It's close, but to me, one has earned themself the win.

Writer 1 GETS MY VOTE

---------- Post added at 06:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:23 AM ----------

Writer 1 WINS 5-2
Unread 08-08-2013, 07:25 AM   #9
 
Hubert Cumberdale
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Writer 1, flow was awesome throughout. I managed to keep on the same pace the entire way through without a stumble. There was even the throat, chin to broken rhyme, which usually comes off badly, but I instinctively said broke-en which is rare with that kind of rhyme. That's down to the way the whole piece was written. There was a few areas of the rhyme I was impressed with. It's for the most part a simplistic style of rhyming, but you managed to have a few areas where you still managed to be impressive through it, which again is a testament to your skill. The poetic techniques and writing styles where very good. Despite the flow and lyricism, this was very much a poetry spoken word piece.
Now for the main part, the story. I didn't really get into it until the end, which was a very clever direction to take it. You did alright at the start, but it took a long time to go into the details you did, for us to only find out "He's being changed by some radioactive things". The little last verse was definitely an awesome idea and closed it off well.

Writer 2, I think you took a risk with such an out there topic. With so many ways, I think this could be very hard to connect to, but you took it in one of the few ways that worked out well. I really liked the use of vocab throughout. It was a good example of some well thought out wording, but without making it seem like you're trying to sound smart. You were very strong in that aspect. The rhyming was really strong for the most part, but I feel that once or twice it seemed a little bit forced. Also with the flow, with so many different styles rocking around, I found it quite hard at times to hop in and out of the flow of each section. Like when you've got your verse, then a quick haiku, then a verse, it'd be fine. But you had I think 5 different styles rocking around and at times I got a little lost. Your wording stood out most of all though. I felt you had the best idea in the whole thing with the "final page of the history books" line.
The story was good. Although at heart it was a bit generic, touching on the downsides of society, you masked it quite well. I didn't feel you had the strongest connection to the picture. You had the in general apocalypse idea, but I don't feel you really brought too much of the picture through with you.

Overall, I felt this was awesome. Both were very different, but both were awesome. I was really impressed guys and you've outdone yourselves for the final here. It's close, but to me, one has earned themself the win.

Writer 1 GETS MY VOTE

---------- Post added at 06:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:23 AM ----------

Writer 1 WINS 5-2