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Unread 08-06-2013, 09:52 PM
Black Book
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,432
Mentioned: 963 Post(s)
Tagged: 33 Thread(s)
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Estimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
145 Won / 55 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
6 Won / 3 Lost
Default

Writer 1: You did pretty well. The flow and rhyming were very nice especially at the beginning. When you started with the apocalypse idea, I was like, "Oh no. Not that. Please not that played out route." But you added a twist and made it in your own. Your piece was good story line wise. It developed, had a climax, then resolved with a conclusion. I felt something was missing, though. Like it just sort of jumped too rapidly from build to climax to resolution. I feel like it could have transitioned slower which would have made it smoother. Not a huge deal, though. The imagery and vocabulary were also nice here.

Writer 2: The rhyming was on point. The flow was there. The voabulary and imagery were dope. This was a very creative piece. You had a lot of depth from the Gods to the real life corruption. The piece had good progression. How parts of the piece were repeated at the end was dope. It began and ended the piece well. Overall, this was dope. Some of it got to the point where it was almost just ranting but it didn't go that far. Dope shit.

MY VOTE GOES TO: Writer 2

Dope tournament. Dope final.
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Unread 08-06-2013, 09:52 PM   #4
 
Black Book
Estimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.8/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
145 Won / 55 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
6 Won / 3 Lost
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Voted: 0 audio / 529 text
Posts: 5,432
Mentioned: 963 Post(s)
Tagged: 33 Thread(s)


Send a message via MSN to Black Book
Default

Writer 1: You did pretty well. The flow and rhyming were very nice especially at the beginning. When you started with the apocalypse idea, I was like, "Oh no. Not that. Please not that played out route." But you added a twist and made it in your own. Your piece was good story line wise. It developed, had a climax, then resolved with a conclusion. I felt something was missing, though. Like it just sort of jumped too rapidly from build to climax to resolution. I feel like it could have transitioned slower which would have made it smoother. Not a huge deal, though. The imagery and vocabulary were also nice here.

Writer 2: The rhyming was on point. The flow was there. The voabulary and imagery were dope. This was a very creative piece. You had a lot of depth from the Gods to the real life corruption. The piece had good progression. How parts of the piece were repeated at the end was dope. It began and ended the piece well. Overall, this was dope. Some of it got to the point where it was almost just ranting but it didn't go that far. Dope shit.

MY VOTE GOES TO: Writer 2

Dope tournament. Dope final.
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