Quote:
Originally Posted by mckiller187
exactly , which goes back to too many words between rhymes... rhymes placements are where you get the rhythm and flow.. guys like phroxen were able to place them at the proper intervals to get it to roll off the tongue, and still be able to drop punchlines and wordplay.. while getting their point across legibly.... on the other end of the spectrum. there are guys who are totally opposit.. they have nice flow,nice rhyme placement but the battle verse becomes more of a cypher,and they drop basic disses,... a dope battle verse has the best of both worlds.. which is why the old heads like illimit, UA, jason, meta4,etc. all are respected, u read their shit, they were able to do that, closer multi placement, and dope punches..
|
LOL bro thats one battle I used those lines, and I say my shit outloud as im going in so I get a feel of how it would read for someone reading it, But It's not always super concise and on point. That being said your welcome to challenge me if you have better bars and we can ghet public opinion. you can look at other bars and raps ive done and see that there different I don't do that style every time, so to pick one battle from my 200 plus is kinda weird to be honest, and also why are you looking for approval and shit on someone else's bar? be yourself put your own style and get judged for it. peace
---------- Post added at 09:09 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:08 AM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by mckiller187
peeped a couple battles. and ive noticed, alot of dudes with runon lines... heres an example;
cause I'm bound to DEFORM-YOU, this REFORMED-FOOL/
couldn't see what was coming if he was outside a haunted house that had a sign reading 'WE WARNED YOU!!' //
^^^^^^^ is this now acceptable,, ? the first line of the bar was decent it had 11 syllables., couldve been a few syllables longer.. since the basis for a verse to have anytype of cadence or flow, is around 12-14 syllables per line. now we look at the 2nd line... 25 syllables... this is hella runoon.. i dont even consider as an actual verse already.. just long sentences put together with and end multi attached to it... is this whats passable now? has the standards of a battle verse been reduced to lazy writing, when someone cant get their same point across using less words.. just curious on everyones thoughts on this.. because even live battles, although written , the battlers all still have a nice flow and cadence to their accapella battles... meaning their multis are spaced alot closer together = less words between multis..than what ive been seeing here.... theres ways to manipulate it but the tried and true formula for a bar is about 24 to 28 syllables total.. so you can have less syllables in the first line, and draw it out in the second, as long as the bar comes close to the total line count... of 24 to 28..j
just wanted everyones opinion on this
|
and also, homie I could point out a lot of your bars and random battles an pick out lines I think are lazy, you're not as good as you think you are. and instead of giving real feedback to ME, the one who WROTE IT, you get on a forum and bitch about how my rhymes don't meet the standard... fuck outa here to be honest you weak
---------- Post added at 09:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:09 AM ----------
Here's a end line from one of his battles : //all this talk of being a god wit WRITTENS IS QUITE CRAFTY,but if 'someone falls for ya stories',its just the BUILDING IN MIAMI!..// That shit is low hanging fruit and not very good, lazy you can say. Let me think of a disaster and throw a line together real quick. You see how I did that? for the ' lazy' line i had you could of grabbed a good one, not EVERYTHING Hits home with everyone. Ive said my peace, send 32