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Unread 06-26-2013, 11:08 AM
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Writer #8
This was a strange piece, 3 little pigs, hansel and gretel, star wars, sexual stoner fantasy. You had all these pieces that you were trying to make fit together and I feel that it wasn't working out. It also seemed to me like your rhymes started to get simpler as the piece went on, as if you were getting lazy. Because you were drawing inspiration from all these familiar places, your ending became predictable. I knew what was going to happen long before I read it. Besides all of that, I wasn't making a real connection between the piece and the picture it was supposed to be based on. You did some things well here, but they were outweighed by a lot of flaws.

Writer #9
This was....interesting I guess. The scene was set well and the imagery was there. The story flowed well and the rhymes were nice and consistent throughout. The twist was pretty predictable and so the end didnt have the impact that it could have but that was the only real major flaw. You did a good job of using the picture you were given and making a story out of it. Not bad.

Winner writer #9
Unread 06-26-2013, 11:08 AM   #3
 
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Writer #8
This was a strange piece, 3 little pigs, hansel and gretel, star wars, sexual stoner fantasy. You had all these pieces that you were trying to make fit together and I feel that it wasn't working out. It also seemed to me like your rhymes started to get simpler as the piece went on, as if you were getting lazy. Because you were drawing inspiration from all these familiar places, your ending became predictable. I knew what was going to happen long before I read it. Besides all of that, I wasn't making a real connection between the piece and the picture it was supposed to be based on. You did some things well here, but they were outweighed by a lot of flaws.

Writer #9
This was....interesting I guess. The scene was set well and the imagery was there. The story flowed well and the rhymes were nice and consistent throughout. The twist was pretty predictable and so the end didnt have the impact that it could have but that was the only real major flaw. You did a good job of using the picture you were given and making a story out of it. Not bad.

Winner writer #9