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Unread 07-14-2013, 12:03 AM
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Writer 5, work on wording a bit more. I liked the idea but without a good set up with the right words can make it sound a little iffy as i try to read it out loud to myself. The story was pretty good, kinda got where you were going with your verse, not all the way sure yet... Writer 7 on the other hand had what i was looking for in the wording area. Story was pretty good throughout also. The only problem i really have with this is all the spacing.. It could be even better without it lol. Closer was nice as well just get a bit more creative with it. A closer suppose to be one of the best parts for a topical. Work on coming to that conclusion and ending it in a unique way.. Writer 2, your piece was kind've on-off at moments but you definitely showed creativity. As same as writer 5, keep everything consistent. Make it so where people want to come back for more as you all did but increase a person's feelings about a Topical..

MVGT:Writer 7
Second Place:Writer 2
Unread 07-14-2013, 12:03 AM   #4
 
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Writer 5, work on wording a bit more. I liked the idea but without a good set up with the right words can make it sound a little iffy as i try to read it out loud to myself. The story was pretty good, kinda got where you were going with your verse, not all the way sure yet... Writer 7 on the other hand had what i was looking for in the wording area. Story was pretty good throughout also. The only problem i really have with this is all the spacing.. It could be even better without it lol. Closer was nice as well just get a bit more creative with it. A closer suppose to be one of the best parts for a topical. Work on coming to that conclusion and ending it in a unique way.. Writer 2, your piece was kind've on-off at moments but you definitely showed creativity. As same as writer 5, keep everything consistent. Make it so where people want to come back for more as you all did but increase a person's feelings about a Topical..

MVGT:Writer 7
Second Place:Writer 2