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Unread 07-29-2013, 07:59 PM
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Book: Thought your rhyme scheme and vocab was on point throughout. In a complicated scheme like this it's easy to try and force stuff to continue the scheme but not once did I feel like anything was forced. The story left a little to be desired but it was consistent and had direction throughout. Just felt that it ended abruptly and without a great impact which was unfortunate because this had the potential to be an excellent piece.

Harizon: Contrary to what I said about Book, i felt like a lot of your rhymes felt forced and unnatural. Story was disjointed and I wasn't really following the arc. Just work on relevancy and having a solid direction.

Winner: BlackBook
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Unread 07-29-2013, 07:59 PM   #10
 
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Book: Thought your rhyme scheme and vocab was on point throughout. In a complicated scheme like this it's easy to try and force stuff to continue the scheme but not once did I feel like anything was forced. The story left a little to be desired but it was consistent and had direction throughout. Just felt that it ended abruptly and without a great impact which was unfortunate because this had the potential to be an excellent piece.

Harizon: Contrary to what I said about Book, i felt like a lot of your rhymes felt forced and unnatural. Story was disjointed and I wasn't really following the arc. Just work on relevancy and having a solid direction.

Winner: BlackBook
 
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