[Phroxen]

Originally Posted by BLNK

He's trying to "Kick It" but hasn't mastered the hand motions, that means he won't keep those "Two Arms Together" if he were acting out hand holding. Homie's a queer, he'll start showing his fear... Backing down, then bolting. So if he don't wanna "Be 'Ere" then I'm 'Cracking The Can Open.'(Beer.)

[Flow]: 6/10 - You tried to fit too many words in each line, so the flow was choppy.
[Delivery]: 6/10 - You showed some confidence, but nothing overly aggressive.
[Multis]: 7/10 - This would've scored higher, but there were a few flaws I noticed. One being "backing down then bolting" doesn't match the syllable count for the rest of your scheme.. also the slant rhymes were very slanted which sounded alright but requires far less effort. "Homie's a queer" was just filler to both have an internal scheme and attempt a setup for more use of the main scheme but it was lazily worded.
[Punches]: 5/10 - Both punches needed work, specifically with execution. The first (arms / hand) had a good concept, but telling someone they won't keep two arms together isn't a powerful diss at all. The last (beer / can) was just awkward. Be 'ere =/= Beer.. and on top of that, the wording you used to describe what I'm assuming is hitting his head was poor.
[Readability]: 7/10 - Up until the mismatched main scheme in the middle and the Beer wordplay, I was feeling it.. then it began to read a bit weird. When the flaws are so apparent like that, especially near the end, it takes steam away from your entire bar.
[Entire bar relevance]: 6/10 - The topic was mentioned once in the end, and it seemed as if it was just slipped in as a last resort to tie in the topic.

[Additional Tips]: Be more concise. I know you like to use correct grammar and all that... but get your points across a little sooner in the bar. Also, NEVER force wordplay... you usually excel in that department, but "Be 'Ere" was wack. Straight up. Also, take a little more time on your internal schemes.. don't just add them to add them.

[GRADE]: 62%

Originally Posted by Path

Im tired of hearing these PRICKS ARE HOT, so i'll GRIP THA LOT ... CLIPS AH' LOCKED, n it dont matter if ur QUICK AH’ NOT, cuz when I PICK THA SHOT, We’ll c em 'go down faster' than an Italian LIQUOR SPOT (Italian lick her spot)

[Flow]: 8/10 - It flowed nicely.. not perfectly, but nicely.
[Delivery]: 5/10 - Average.
[Multis]: 5/10 - The syllable count was solid and everything rhymed, but the vocabulary was extremely limited. You used "tha" twice and "ah" twice.. honestly those were all filler rhymes with no impact.
[Punches]: 4/10 - Below average punch here. Go down faster than an Italian Lick her spot.. really, what the hell is that referencing? Not only was the wording weird, but the actual punch had zero sting.
[Readability]: 6/10 - It was a clear read but it seemed too remedial for a score higher than slightly above average.
[Entire bar relevance]: 5/10 - The topic was mentioned once, at the end.. while the setups had little to do with the topic, especially the entire first half (everything before "pick tha shot").

[Additional Tips]: Put more thought into your schemes. Your flow is on point, but the actual rhyming words were very weak. Also, avoid empty disses like "prick" in your schemes because they're regarded as filler. Read your wordplay aloud after you write it and make sure it reads correctly for both meanings, not just one.

[GRADE]: 55%

Originally Posted by ~SHINIGAMI~

I keep my "Bars Open" for any ballers willin' to TAKE THE SHOTS, and guaranteed the "heat sensation" that'll leave these rookies with a bitter face as if they TASTED SCOTCH! I FOLD-CATS for everything I bring is COKE-JACK. see how you clowns be TALKIN' TOO SOON cuz if this PRO-SNAP/SCHNAPP the "Punch" will give ya a "WALK ON THE MOON"

[Flow]: 5/10 - The flow was nearly nonexistent.. far too many words in the bars for it to be smooth.
[Delivery]: 6/10 - Decent confidence but nothing game-ending.
[Multis]: 5/10 - Work on the vocabulary in your schemes because it seemed too simple. Also snap =/= Schnapps.. they don't even rhyme, nor do they even sound similar. (Schnapps rhymes with pops, tops, cops, stops, etc..)
[Punches]: 5/10 - Open bars and taking shots did nothing for me. Same with the scotch line.. heat sensation giving bitter faces? Nah. The Coke/Jack needed a better setup for it to do damage, and the last bar also had a very weak setup for a punch that did next to no damage.
[Readability]: 5/10 - A few mistakes cost you here. First, the snap/Schnapps thing was a total eye-sore. "guranteed the heat sensation that'll leave these rookies with a bitter face" - That's fragmented and doesn't make sense as is, plus rookies is plural so they'd have faces, not one face. "for everything I bring" - This sounded way too proper considering you're using slang like clowns, baller, and coke.. then you pull some Shakespearean type shit when you said "for everything".
[Entire bar relevance]: 7/10 - Tons of references in your bars to the topic, even if they didn't connect, they were there and effort was shown.

[Additional Tips]: Be careful with what you put in quotations.. people expect wordplay to be in quotes, and when it isn't it takes a lot of focus off of your bar. Also, make sure you know your voice when you're writing (or spitting). What I mean by that is... if you want to use slang like "clowns be talkin" then write your whole verse with that voice.. switching mid bar and speaking properly looks weird.

[GRADE]: 55%

Originally Posted by MadVerbs

Ayo, you claim that you can ''Handle Your Own'' ..then it should take LOTS TO DROP YA so why are you always that ''Drunk Bitch Under The Table'' from a few SHOTS OF VODKA!?
If you think that you'll WIN YOU'RE DUMB & stop talking money because you've BEEN A BUM & with ''Shots I'll Leave You Lit'' ..you're not drinking GIN OR RUM!

[Flow]: 4/10 - It was ultra choppy.. WAY too many words were forced in your bars which squashed any chance of it being smooth.
[Delivery]: 4/10 - Below average. When you attemped to be aggresive it just sounded awkward.
[Multis]: 5/10 - Up the vocab. Everything rhymed but it lacked complexity.. try throwing in some inner schemes along with your main schemes.
[Punches]: 4/10 - Below average. "handle your own" and "drunk bitch under the table" don't deserve quotes because they aren't referencing anything else. The "lit" punch, though it made sense, was far too simple to have an impact.
[Readability]: 5/10 - Average. No grammatical or structural flaws but it was too verbose as I mentioned earlier.
[Entire bar relevance]: 5/10 - You had the ideas but they just weren't executed well.

[Additional Tips]: Don't use the first punch that comes to mind because it usually won't be as good as the next one(s) you think of. Also, keep wordplay in quotes and everything else out of them.

[GRADE]: 45%

Originally Posted by Enfinite

Your "bars were weak off the launch" and NEVA LANDED, you'll drop like HARD LIQUOR when "Shots drop" from bad "BAR" TENDERS, face it, a simple "90 degree flip of the wrist" won't make this battle LEVEL HANDED!!!

[Flow]: 3/10 - Below average. Your main scheme was spaced too far apart for it to even work. When I reached the pair to your main scheme at the end of the bar, it was as if it didn't fit any other scheme because you took too long to spit it out. Throw more multies in the bars, and make sure they're placed correctly. Either that, or stick with one scheme throughout.
[Delivery]: 4/10 - The thoughts seemed sporadic, and nothing left a lasting impression.
[Multis]: 4/10 - Only four examples here, one of which needed a different pronunciation to even work (neva).
[Punches]: 3/10 - Your first punch applies to your own line, because that didn't land either.. there was no setup to allow it to make any sense. You used drop in your setup in the next line to describe "shots drop"... that's a double no-no. And defining what level handed means by saying your wrist turns was just awful. Not good at all.
[Readablility]: 4/10 - "bars were weak off the launch and never landed" was just a forced way to start your bar. You were grasping for an idea that wasn't there. The double-drop usage I mentioned earlier was cringe-worthy. The last idea was also forced.. this was hard to get through.
[Entire bar relevance]: 4/10 - You had ideas, and tried to incorporate the topic.. but as far as relevance goes, this was all over the place.

[Additional Tips]: Work on the structure of your bars. Like I said, when your scheme starts in one bar and isn't seen until the next one, with nothing to connect them, you will lose the reader. Also, try not to use the same word twice in a bar (or in a verse for that matter). There are tons of words to choose from... don't pigeon-hole yourself.

[GRADE]: 36%

[Phroxen]

Originally Posted by BLNK

He's trying to "Kick It" but hasn't mastered the hand motions, that means he won't keep those "Two Arms Together" if he were acting out hand holding. Homie's a queer, he'll start showing his fear... Backing down, then bolting. So if he don't wanna "Be 'Ere" then I'm 'Cracking The Can Open.'(Beer.)

[Flow]: 6/10 - You tried to fit too many words in each line, so the flow was choppy.
[Delivery]: 6/10 - You showed some confidence, but nothing overly aggressive.
[Multis]: 7/10 - This would've scored higher, but there were a few flaws I noticed. One being "backing down then bolting" doesn't match the syllable count for the rest of your scheme.. also the slant rhymes were very slanted which sounded alright but requires far less effort. "Homie's a queer" was just filler to both have an internal scheme and attempt a setup for more use of the main scheme but it was lazily worded.
[Punches]: 5/10 - Both punches needed work, specifically with execution. The first (arms / hand) had a good concept, but telling someone they won't keep two arms together isn't a powerful diss at all. The last (beer / can) was just awkward. Be 'ere =/= Beer.. and on top of that, the wording you used to describe what I'm assuming is hitting his head was poor.
[Readability]: 7/10 - Up until the mismatched main scheme in the middle and the Beer wordplay, I was feeling it.. then it began to read a bit weird. When the flaws are so apparent like that, especially near the end, it takes steam away from your entire bar.
[Entire bar relevance]: 6/10 - The topic was mentioned once in the end, and it seemed as if it was just slipped in as a last resort to tie in the topic.

[Additional Tips]: Be more concise. I know you like to use correct grammar and all that... but get your points across a little sooner in the bar. Also, NEVER force wordplay... you usually excel in that department, but "Be 'Ere" was wack. Straight up. Also, take a little more time on your internal schemes.. don't just add them to add them.

[GRADE]: 62%

Originally Posted by Path

Im tired of hearing these PRICKS ARE HOT, so i'll GRIP THA LOT ... CLIPS AH' LOCKED, n it dont matter if ur QUICK AH’ NOT, cuz when I PICK THA SHOT, We’ll c em 'go down faster' than an Italian LIQUOR SPOT (Italian lick her spot)

[Flow]: 8/10 - It flowed nicely.. not perfectly, but nicely.
[Delivery]: 5/10 - Average.
[Multis]: 5/10 - The syllable count was solid and everything rhymed, but the vocabulary was extremely limited. You used "tha" twice and "ah" twice.. honestly those were all filler rhymes with no impact.
[Punches]: 4/10 - Below average punch here. Go down faster than an Italian Lick her spot.. really, what the hell is that referencing? Not only was the wording weird, but the actual punch had zero sting.
[Readability]: 6/10 - It was a clear read but it seemed too remedial for a score higher than slightly above average.
[Entire bar relevance]: 5/10 - The topic was mentioned once, at the end.. while the setups had little to do with the topic, especially the entire first half (everything before "pick tha shot").

[Additional Tips]: Put more thought into your schemes. Your flow is on point, but the actual rhyming words were very weak. Also, avoid empty disses like "prick" in your schemes because they're regarded as filler. Read your wordplay aloud after you write it and make sure it reads correctly for both meanings, not just one.

[GRADE]: 55%

Originally Posted by ~SHINIGAMI~

I keep my "Bars Open" for any ballers willin' to TAKE THE SHOTS, and guaranteed the "heat sensation" that'll leave these rookies with a bitter face as if they TASTED SCOTCH! I FOLD-CATS for everything I bring is COKE-JACK. see how you clowns be TALKIN' TOO SOON cuz if this PRO-SNAP/SCHNAPP the "Punch" will give ya a "WALK ON THE MOON"

[Flow]: 5/10 - The flow was nearly nonexistent.. far too many words in the bars for it to be smooth.
[Delivery]: 6/10 - Decent confidence but nothing game-ending.
[Multis]: 5/10 - Work on the vocabulary in your schemes because it seemed too simple. Also snap =/= Schnapps.. they don't even rhyme, nor do they even sound similar. (Schnapps rhymes with pops, tops, cops, stops, etc..)
[Punches]: 5/10 - Open bars and taking shots did nothing for me. Same with the scotch line.. heat sensation giving bitter faces? Nah. The Coke/Jack needed a better setup for it to do damage, and the last bar also had a very weak setup for a punch that did next to no damage.
[Readability]: 5/10 - A few mistakes cost you here. First, the snap/Schnapps thing was a total eye-sore. "guranteed the heat sensation that'll leave these rookies with a bitter face" - That's fragmented and doesn't make sense as is, plus rookies is plural so they'd have faces, not one face. "for everything I bring" - This sounded way too proper considering you're using slang like clowns, baller, and coke.. then you pull some Shakespearean type shit when you said "for everything".
[Entire bar relevance]: 7/10 - Tons of references in your bars to the topic, even if they didn't connect, they were there and effort was shown.

[Additional Tips]: Be careful with what you put in quotations.. people expect wordplay to be in quotes, and when it isn't it takes a lot of focus off of your bar. Also, make sure you know your voice when you're writing (or spitting). What I mean by that is... if you want to use slang like "clowns be talkin" then write your whole verse with that voice.. switching mid bar and speaking properly looks weird.

[GRADE]: 55%

Originally Posted by MadVerbs

Ayo, you claim that you can ''Handle Your Own'' ..then it should take LOTS TO DROP YA so why are you always that ''Drunk Bitch Under The Table'' from a few SHOTS OF VODKA!?
If you think that you'll WIN YOU'RE DUMB & stop talking money because you've BEEN A BUM & with ''Shots I'll Leave You Lit'' ..you're not drinking GIN OR RUM!

[Flow]: 4/10 - It was ultra choppy.. WAY too many words were forced in your bars which squashed any chance of it being smooth.
[Delivery]: 4/10 - Below average. When you attemped to be aggresive it just sounded awkward.
[Multis]: 5/10 - Up the vocab. Everything rhymed but it lacked complexity.. try throwing in some inner schemes along with your main schemes.
[Punches]: 4/10 - Below average. "handle your own" and "drunk bitch under the table" don't deserve quotes because they aren't referencing anything else. The "lit" punch, though it made sense, was far too simple to have an impact.
[Readability]: 5/10 - Average. No grammatical or structural flaws but it was too verbose as I mentioned earlier.
[Entire bar relevance]: 5/10 - You had the ideas but they just weren't executed well.

[Additional Tips]: Don't use the first punch that comes to mind because it usually won't be as good as the next one(s) you think of. Also, keep wordplay in quotes and everything else out of them.

[GRADE]: 45%

Originally Posted by Enfinite

Your "bars were weak off the launch" and NEVA LANDED, you'll drop like HARD LIQUOR when "Shots drop" from bad "BAR" TENDERS, face it, a simple "90 degree flip of the wrist" won't make this battle LEVEL HANDED!!!

[Flow]: 3/10 - Below average. Your main scheme was spaced too far apart for it to even work. When I reached the pair to your main scheme at the end of the bar, it was as if it didn't fit any other scheme because you took too long to spit it out. Throw more multies in the bars, and make sure they're placed correctly. Either that, or stick with one scheme throughout.
[Delivery]: 4/10 - The thoughts seemed sporadic, and nothing left a lasting impression.
[Multis]: 4/10 - Only four examples here, one of which needed a different pronunciation to even work (neva).
[Punches]: 3/10 - Your first punch applies to your own line, because that didn't land either.. there was no setup to allow it to make any sense. You used drop in your setup in the next line to describe "shots drop"... that's a double no-no. And defining what level handed means by saying your wrist turns was just awful. Not good at all.
[Readablility]: 4/10 - "bars were weak off the launch and never landed" was just a forced way to start your bar. You were grasping for an idea that wasn't there. The double-drop usage I mentioned earlier was cringe-worthy. The last idea was also forced.. this was hard to get through.
[Entire bar relevance]: 4/10 - You had ideas, and tried to incorporate the topic.. but as far as relevance goes, this was all over the place.

[Additional Tips]: Work on the structure of your bars. Like I said, when your scheme starts in one bar and isn't seen until the next one, with nothing to connect them, you will lose the reader. Also, try not to use the same word twice in a bar (or in a verse for that matter). There are tons of words to choose from... don't pigeon-hole yourself.

[GRADE]: 36%