In the beginning, I felt one had an interesting story but the reasoning of it seemed to have no connection at the end. It seemed like the ending was not what I expected, it wasn't really.. the point of the story, you know? The whole buildup was the life struggles of a young girl who was mentally and physically tortured, the ending was some government agenda coming into play. Kept me reading, but the ending was not what was expected.
The other: I like these kind of reads, it really puts the human mind into perspective and what kind of society this is. While it also being comical, it sustained my read because in my head, it was sexual all the way through, forgetting completely what you said about reading carefully. Crazy how much sex excels the mind, cool and original idea here.
When it's all said in done, I felt one could've executed his story better. I could see him becoming a good topical writer in the future. Out of the box material and the ability to make me think took the cake, to me, for this one. My vote goes to: @
Dono