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Unread 12-29-2014, 12:08 AM
Lockhart
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This was a nice ass topical battle. Now, to the overall dissection of both pieces.

@Dono: I feel your piece was very well put together. The beginning of it made it seem like it was going to be your regular military piece that seems like a cliche life/death scenario where either you kill the person or they kill you. I did like the plot turn at the very end, which I feel added a bit of humor to the piece. You seem to be very good at that and it seems to be your signature way of ending your topicals. I do feel like the flow was stiff in certain places, but, it fit the piece that you put together quite nicely, as you wouldn't expect a topical about a military story to be very easy going and smooth. Overall, I feel you did a great job with this piece.

@Row: I feel how you started out each part of the topical with the same stanzas was really a nice tone setter for each piece. The idea for having both scenarios play out was a phenomenal idea, as well. I also felt the ending to each piece was a nice touch as well, showing how both scenarios are tied together in their own, unique way. Overall, this piece was also a job well done.

My Winner: @Row. I feel that, with how his verse was put together, that it painted a very vivid picture in my mind of both scenarios, and, in turn, I felt I connected with that piece more so than @Dono's, but only by the slightest margin. My opinion may differ from other voters, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Congrats to both on making it here. It was a dope final!!

The fair's in.
Unread 12-29-2014, 12:08 AM   #6
 
Lockhart
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This was a nice ass topical battle. Now, to the overall dissection of both pieces.

@Dono: I feel your piece was very well put together. The beginning of it made it seem like it was going to be your regular military piece that seems like a cliche life/death scenario where either you kill the person or they kill you. I did like the plot turn at the very end, which I feel added a bit of humor to the piece. You seem to be very good at that and it seems to be your signature way of ending your topicals. I do feel like the flow was stiff in certain places, but, it fit the piece that you put together quite nicely, as you wouldn't expect a topical about a military story to be very easy going and smooth. Overall, I feel you did a great job with this piece.

@Row: I feel how you started out each part of the topical with the same stanzas was really a nice tone setter for each piece. The idea for having both scenarios play out was a phenomenal idea, as well. I also felt the ending to each piece was a nice touch as well, showing how both scenarios are tied together in their own, unique way. Overall, this piece was also a job well done.

My Winner: @Row. I feel that, with how his verse was put together, that it painted a very vivid picture in my mind of both scenarios, and, in turn, I felt I connected with that piece more so than @Dono's, but only by the slightest margin. My opinion may differ from other voters, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Congrats to both on making it here. It was a dope final!!

The fair's in.