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Unread 06-29-2013, 04:56 PM
The Law
Basic Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 340
Mentioned: 142 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.83/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
11 Won / 6 Lost
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Writer 3: Gonna start off and say that I enjoyed the whole verse. Although half way through I was expecting a little more of the "Love for Digital/Technology", but instead you went to following the exact picture (the more obvious approach). But, nonetheless, it was a very nice job from start to finish building up to the point of getting the robotic woman to describing the masturbation and the sex with the robot. There were many humorous lines and the drop flowed smoothly all the way through reading it. Very very tough verse to beat. You made me as the reader want to keep my eyes on it from start to finish, each line said a lot, but was also short and simple, which made it much easier to follow and understand. Great drop. Propz.

Writer 14: I enjoyed reading your piece also. I liked how you wrote out each face. The flow was decent, couple iffy spots, but it still worked. I didn't think the approach you brought fully worked with the picture. Your concept added way to much onto what was really a simple picture. In a nut shell, your main theme was the fall of mankind because of technology, however, you only mentioned technology a few times. I understand that you brought that part out from the picture, but I feel your topic could have been much more related to the picture than just the technological part. Another thing is imagery, I think you could have added a bit more in that department also. The vocab was good though.

Overall: This would have been a great picture to write a satire verse, but I enjoyed reading both of your drops in this battle. Aside, from the more on topic issue, I think writer 3 had a better all around drop in every area. That is not to say Writer 14's drop was any bit bad. I just felt in this battle Writer 3 came with an outstanding verse. Great job.

My Vote: Writer 3
Unread 06-29-2013, 04:56 PM   #3
 
The Law
Basic Member
Estimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.83/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.83/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
11 Won / 6 Lost
 
Join Date: May 2013
Voted: 0 audio / 0 text
Posts: 340
Mentioned: 142 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Default

Writer 3: Gonna start off and say that I enjoyed the whole verse. Although half way through I was expecting a little more of the "Love for Digital/Technology", but instead you went to following the exact picture (the more obvious approach). But, nonetheless, it was a very nice job from start to finish building up to the point of getting the robotic woman to describing the masturbation and the sex with the robot. There were many humorous lines and the drop flowed smoothly all the way through reading it. Very very tough verse to beat. You made me as the reader want to keep my eyes on it from start to finish, each line said a lot, but was also short and simple, which made it much easier to follow and understand. Great drop. Propz.

Writer 14: I enjoyed reading your piece also. I liked how you wrote out each face. The flow was decent, couple iffy spots, but it still worked. I didn't think the approach you brought fully worked with the picture. Your concept added way to much onto what was really a simple picture. In a nut shell, your main theme was the fall of mankind because of technology, however, you only mentioned technology a few times. I understand that you brought that part out from the picture, but I feel your topic could have been much more related to the picture than just the technological part. Another thing is imagery, I think you could have added a bit more in that department also. The vocab was good though.

Overall: This would have been a great picture to write a satire verse, but I enjoyed reading both of your drops in this battle. Aside, from the more on topic issue, I think writer 3 had a better all around drop in every area. That is not to say Writer 14's drop was any bit bad. I just felt in this battle Writer 3 came with an outstanding verse. Great job.

My Vote: Writer 3
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