Writer 1
The story wasn't really grabbing me. Your flow was ok for the most part but the rhymes were not working, the end threw me especially. Beat her/steamer/meet her/leper. To end the whole verse with that slant rhyme really obscured the flow of the whole thing. Overall, an average verse.
Writer 16
Stuck with a consistent rhyme scheme throughout which helped the overall flow and direction of the piece. The story was different and i liked the man v. nature/man v. self elements that you brought with it. I read it twice and it got better with my second read. Used a lot of good vocabulary here but at times I felt the overt complexity weighed down the message a little bit. Overall a nice piece.
Winner #16
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