Writer 1
This piece was just full of mediocrity. Nothing in it was bad, but nothing in it was good. It was all just decent and average. The story line was predictable, making it sort of boring to read. And you messed up that last rhyme. Leper is lep-er, not leep-er. My advice is just to be more original. That's all you need. Keep the reader interested.
Writer 16
The first section was full of good imagery and vocab. The second section was where a bit of a story started to progress. I was expecting the third section to really put the story into perspective, let me see where this was going, but it didn't. It was just more vocabulary and imagery. The vocabulary and imagery in this piece has been great so far, but I am still waiting for the story line. The fourth section didn't make much of a story but it brought meaning to the piece, which at least made all the imagery and vocab worth something. The last line made the piece complete. I just suggest working on story progression in your next topical.
My Vote: Writer 16
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