Name Jacka - that was pretty good for your first drop but I don't think you totally understood how a topical was supposed to look, sound, and communicate. Your story was very predictible and didn't have a whole lot of depth. Flow was nice and I think you could have some potential you just need to move out of the battle realm and get some experience doing topicals.
Black Book - You're getting better, I can see some serious improvement. The ending had a definite twist but I'm not sure you dual meaning story lined up all the way and some of your rhymes sound forced. It links up with the picture better and has a more coherent double meaning than the last topical of yours I read though so you're definitely on the right track.
Vote goes to Black Book
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