(Part 1)

These are the verses that were no showed from round 1.

Writer 14 (Dysfunctional)

As a child he was never one to be discriminated
Although his skinny stature was never eliminated
While he was young other people’s comments never affected his fragile ears
His grandmother always taught him that when things got tough he should battle fears
The progression of years and articulation
Made him change from the artist who hated to being bombarded through hatred
As a child his ego was the one thing that was strong enough to break through stone gates
But as the words which once had no effect were growing more intellectual he grew to hate his own place.
He tried to stand his ground despite everyone trying to bury him beneath it
His soul trapped inside the prison confinement called his heart with no chance of releasing
He became a mixed drink of one part left alone and two parts tragedy.
What the kids thought to emote was less about common sense just apathy
One night he went home not looking deranged or beaten
He felt the knife pass his throat like strangers meeting.
His mind like TNT lit at both ends as the razor’s leaving.
After that day he was considered highest on the totem pole
Not because he finally had popularity but because he was finally unable to over throw his over dose of broken hope

She was eight years old when she was first called ugly
Throughout her life she would have to rehearse running away to avoid the pushing and shoving
She had a birthmark that covered less than half her face
The kids would always say look at that disgrace.
Or that she looked like a bad mistake that’s only half erased
To this day despite a loving husband she doesn’t think she’s beautiful
Her self esteem and confidence has been trapped away in cubicles
But what they don’t understand is that she is two kids strong
And their definition of beautiful starts with the word “mom”
She will always live with that chip on her shoulder that will grow heavier with each day
This society’s norm allows for no lee way
It’s just the he say she say
Lives stopped like freeze frames.

But this? This is just loose debris
Left over from when we finally do believe
That we can smash all the things we thought we used to be
Our egos crushed under the weight of others anger
As we become more articulate words become less of inferior banter
And more like the last one in the chamber.

Originally Posted by Dave

The rhyming went up and down throughout. Some parts were solid, some parts were a little stretched. Your story was slightly all over the place at times too. I get to the end and think to myself “So what was actually the message in what I was reading?”. You also focused heavily on one character and not on another. I’d have liked to have seen that shared out a little more. A great line was “Their definition of beautiful comes from the word ‘mom’”. Really strong message in there, great thinking.

Writer 11 (Wizdumb)

I’d never admitted the hate that ive witnessed, but lately it's seems though the days are extended, blatantly endless, year upon year of pain and oppression. A pagan once raised where the vagrants were present... Now placed in a cage til I'm raised to the heavens.
‘Not guiltys’ what I plead, my fate was changed by the sentence. An aimless depression, facin rage and aggression. Maimed and defenceless. In a place where the ranks try to placate the peasants and the demons screamin out... but not an angel is present.
So for an ageless existence ive been claiming I didn’t take place in the killings that got me chained n imprisoned… but facin the end of my place in this wasteless abyss of hate n proscription I’ve made the decision to confess my regrets and explain to their children:
“Dear Joseph & Chloe… first off I just want you to know that im soulfully sorry for what the two of you were exposed to that morning. When I saw the door broken… my ears perked, mind jetting. I rejoiced at the thought that whatever I brought back to the heart of my block would probably cop the most marvelous rock stash. N that’s all it took, I was gone to plot in a hot flash.
But what played out that when I returned, I couldnt have predicted happening… I was happily snatchin all that I could grab, but I didn’t see ya daddy standin, poised behind the mantelpiece.. What I did see was his face twisted in a maddening grimace as he tackled me trynna hack n slash a piece big enough to cause a casualty…
In an instant we were grappling.. battling.. scrambling to find our footing. I did, n with a violent push I ripped the knife directly through his adams apple nd right into his spine to mute em.
That’s when I saw the wife was moving. Advancing with a rifle toolin round with the safety just long enough for me to strike n put the exact knife I used to carve up ya daddy, right into her sinus tubes then up into her eyes n pupils.
It was a travesty. I was just an addict plannin to snatch n thieve just to get some smack... and ended up actually snatchin away ya chance to have a family.
So Although I know you'll never accept it and theres nothing I could ever do to gain your respect, I truly regret it."
And then I sent it.
Cuz for a soul about to recede in suppression... a guilty conscience needs its confession.

Originally Posted by Dave

The rhyming throughout was crazy. It’s a shame you sucked ass in the second round because this was a really strong piece. You progressed the story along perfectly. The only downside was “Did this dude really go THAT graphic in his confession to the kids?” lmao, but besides that, I really enjoyed the piece start to finish and it’s one of the best drops of the tournament thus far.

Writer 10 (ViTRiOL)

1. 13th November 1940, Trondheim, Norway

We are frost-stricken, stranded betwixt the beams cold & godless and scavenging for scraps is our only option,
While we silently shiver in the bitter blackness, this dusky, hollow cellar our only solace
From the impending doom that roams our province in toneless columns, the German troops that search for loot
And lives to rend for life itself wisps like smoke in the hardened hands of these fervid brutes.
I am a poor farmer who had once made a pittance from the earthly fruits,
Now a family whose dismal fates once laid on the brittle state of turnip shoots
2. Face this bleak demise with leaky eyes in the broken rays of a perfect moon.
On a floor ridden with unswept soot, my cherished love gruesomely joined with torment bears the fruit of my loins,
Muffling her cries is my son, weak-limbed, crucially poised with a cloth-in-hand for muting the noise,
But on hard ground we wait, shaken by war and ebbed by hunger in the luminous void.

My dear son Eirik is worn, a lethargic nimbus encases a set of bones that quiver in the tenebrous dust,
There’s a yellowish crust set on the swollen mounds of each and every pestilent cut,
I pray for him, indeed I pray for us, with one hand upon my wife’s hand,
And the other with a passionate grip keeps the Book of Genesis clutched.
With the same grip, she pulls tight as her genitals gush, the resonance of her screams make the cellar erupt
As she braves a perilous plunge, pushing life into a sparsely moonlit world, shadowbound and grim,
She screams, howls until the loudness brims filling the gloom with exerted motions as it stirs commotion,
But I am stunned, as I pull from her some creature and then I am shocked by absurd emotions.
For a moment frozen in time, there is no fear, no alarm or distress and no words are spoken,
As I feel the wet skin against my arms and the eyes of this wondrous girl I’m holding.

Deep blue of azure skylines, lighting up the saddened night-time,
In the face of beauty I weep, how she has been born alongside such tragic lifetimes.
“Cecilie, my darling,” I sob aloud, as I get on my knees and kneel to hush,
But time is lost, from the ordeal she trumped, my cherished love falls ill and slumps.
My spine then aches with fear as I hear a storm of soldiers from above,
No time to cry, to fall, but I can barely breathe with these soulless lungs,
I grip her tight to my chest, thoughts plague me as cold terror overcomes
What would they do to us? To now my only love? The boots overhead, they slowly thump
I place my hands to her throat, what life could she have? With all the warmth and the all the laughter,
But either way, I know: Unwittingly, she awaits the arms of Death and the jaws of darkness…

Originally Posted by Dave

See, it’s a cunt no showing isn’t it? . It’s a shame you didn’t show up for the second round This was a very solid piece with demonstrated every single aspect of topical writing. The vocab was stellar, the imagery was fantastic, the story progressed well, the rhyming was brilliant. The only downside I have is that sometimes your rhymes popped up in unexpected places, so I found myself backtracking slightly to find out what I had missed and what put my flow off.

Writer 30 (NoLuck)

To tell you the truth i don't get FADED , im so good of a player that i wouldn't get TRADED , your A GRADED? don't take notice to what this plain STATED . its the 23rd and your expiry was 8th DATED , So your talent 'expired' like the 'retired' when the drive 'part' of your 'heart' VA CATED,
i smoke chronic so you could say i got that GREEN BREATH we do it hard something like that TEEN SEX your soft and pissed off something like a FIEND STRESSED
percaut to the lost or your on the SCENE WRECKED
G CHECKED BRO OR NOT just check my temperature like a fever im OVER HOT this is a clean hit your just mad that you got SHOULDER ROCKED plus you ain't wise enough me i think them OLDER THOUGHTS lyrically man get this HOE A BOX you got no respect what so ever just HOLD THE THOUGHTS i dont give a fuck what you think like a chick that
BLOES MY COCK , stop talking JUST DO IT after this i won't call you a bitch like this guy beacause you PROCESSED MY FLUID one hundred percent non fiction off the top OF THE UNIT so how the fuck could you come over here and possibly RUIN IT im non stop with the MOVEMENT kicking on these CATCHY BEATS LET ME BEEF
i talk shine like through me they let the HEAVENS SPEAK..

Originally Posted by Dave

You obviously weren’t 100% sure of what a topical was here, and dropped more of a bragging style cypher aimed at an opponent. If you ever intend of returning to topicals, read around the section a little bit more and get familiar with what the style is like.

Writer 32

"Premonition's"
Night One:
I've been having a dream lately, I just can't shake it.
When it starts, it emits red, my body pulsates, quaking,
My mine stutters, racing, out of pace like crazy!
Then I see him, that shade thing, staring blankly.
I could never see his face, I make out a top hat and brim.
As he approaches I wake up, it's happened again....
I think nothing of it, I laugh and I grin,
I walk it off, go one with my day with it in the past,
The past has passed, that's just it.

Night Two:
I'm having this dream again, why can't I shake it?
Mind's racing, the pace is, ugh, I hate it.
Lucid, I can make out the surrounding, tree's and hills,
I can smell the sea, the mill, summer, the heat is real.
The man appears in the distance, just behind a heat wave,
My mouth is in a drought, my teeth ache.
He approaches, my heart pumps, bump, bump, bump.
My heart says "Stay" my mind yells, "RUN RUN RUN"!
I wake up....

Night Three:
This time I'm in the snow, the cold, freezing rain,
The weather doesn't makes sense, I need to wake,
Then I see him, clear as day, it's me, he's speaks his name,
"I'm Steven Ray, did you have the same dream today?"
"Because when you pass the part with the sea, the heat and waves"
"Something dire happens, I believe it's grave"

Day One:
I awake, tremors quake throughout my being,
I question reality and what I've been dreaming,
"Something dire can't happen right" I keep repeating.
I take a walk down the street, I feel the heat, and smell the sea,
I see the figure with a top hat and brim, my mind is racing,
I'm jarred awake, fast asleep, I just can't shake it.

Night One....

Originally Posted by Dave

I’m really fucking annoyed that I can’t understand this verse because it seems like the ending is crazy dope but I just don’t get it. You had me REALLY engaged throughout your verse here. I was dying to find out where you were going with it, which is probably why I’m annoyed that I’m not understanding it. The rhyming and flow were okay, a few hiccups, but all in all the storytelling was brilliant.

Writer 25 (HeliO)

Consume useless products from fabricated illusions, use two fist fo bucks, hum??, elaborated contusions, decapitated in ruins, a mind's a terrible thing to waste, get lacerations for two cents, the system was designed only, for castrating the new kids, not delivering hope to the masses, that they're playing in tune with. Having it all, is a delusional mind state, the grass is greener on the other side but, confusion is what the line plays, residing in tombs of life, strife, only contributes to the crime rate, micky d's to migeon, still looks like beef upon my plate. Power with words, knowledge on the decline, shower the herbs I heard it through the grape vine, towers a blur coz wounds heal, it just takes time, life is a distraction, so easily they take mine. envy the great guy, but all systems lack value, change comes from with in, no one listens to the how too, lackin sight to see both sides of the fence like vision from cows do, open mind stems, up your cap, no pickings from cow doo. Hunger for more, drives the starvin to die, material love fills the heart in disguise, patiently wastin breaths, hit trees w/blows till the carbon arrives, tweetin behind the cardigan guy, an stay disillusioned to the fact only the hardest survives. Carcinogens fly, projectin full circle that the carcass is life, so reachin for dullness, poles shift, from darkness to light, so hardship can survive. Conceptual existence is an immaculate lie, truly its lust steerin this elaborate ride, twistin presences, livin lessons, not protectin the why?? as the steadily lackin sight about life, to notice you only live, once an if you do it right, that should be enough ..to die!! Currently currency, is turnin the purpose the, statutes of freedom never converse over conservin, current me?? coz perpetual peasants stay purposely perpetuatin perjury!!! that's why the lack off money is the courtesy we currently need w/urgency.. so knowledge can bring unity through skills an diversity!!

Originally Posted by Lockhart

This verse I felt had some great poetic elements to it i.e. Alliteration, imagery, etc. However, I feel that it simply didn't stay on topic as well as it should have, meaning that it really didn't stick to one particular thought. It always seemed to keep jutting around from one idea to the next with no real progression. Scheme wise I felt it was actually quite impressive, but on the flip side, there were also areas to where the scheme work needed cleaning up to keep a better flow going. This was a decent "topical", but to me, it seemed more cypherish than topical.

Writer 33 (IAmFlow)

Unconditional Love

The first day I met her, I was at the cafe getting some fine food
She was bussin' the tables in raggedy clothes and sun-dried shoes
But somehow I looked at her and just marveled her numb life
Was it her long brunette hair or eyes that sparkle in sunlight?
Her dedication, her resilience, or all her hardworking days
For some low-end tips and a paycheck below minimum wage
So one day I got the courage to ask her on a date with me
She was stand offish, and surprised when I made the plea
But she said; "Yes, we can give it a try and grab a coffee"
"That sounds great, here tomorrow morning" I replied softly.

And here we are today, we've been together for twenty years
yeah we had our differences, family deaths, we shed plenty tears
I offered her the world, a nice house and luxury cars, the good life
A Healthy Diet, Brand Name clothes, anything she would like
After all this time, she still never wanted a dime
She stayed true, and never became daunted and primed
It was never about the money, never about the easy livin'
Or not being hungry, or having anything that was freely givin'
She was this one in a kind ace; A pure beautiful angel
A heart, no matter how aged, was youthful and graceful
No matter what I had to give her, it was superficial and dumb
Any other person would have found it irresistible stuff
But was she gave back was unimaginable, It was the best gift of all.
What she gave me back…

Was unconditional love.

Originally Posted by Lockhart

This story really had me hooked in from the first 2 lines. I feel the scheme work, for the most part, might have been a bit simplistic at times, meaning there were one sets of rhymes for each line that I read, which made the flow a bit more verbose, but it doesn't take away from how well the story progressed. It was really quite interesting reading how the two people met for the first time and how the woman never changed in her values. Bit of a sentimental touch and makes us reflect on how we shouldn't be as superficial. Very good topical here.

(Part 1)

These are the verses that were no showed from round 1.

Writer 14 (Dysfunctional)

As a child he was never one to be discriminated
Although his skinny stature was never eliminated
While he was young other people’s comments never affected his fragile ears
His grandmother always taught him that when things got tough he should battle fears
The progression of years and articulation
Made him change from the artist who hated to being bombarded through hatred
As a child his ego was the one thing that was strong enough to break through stone gates
But as the words which once had no effect were growing more intellectual he grew to hate his own place.
He tried to stand his ground despite everyone trying to bury him beneath it
His soul trapped inside the prison confinement called his heart with no chance of releasing
He became a mixed drink of one part left alone and two parts tragedy.
What the kids thought to emote was less about common sense just apathy
One night he went home not looking deranged or beaten
He felt the knife pass his throat like strangers meeting.
His mind like TNT lit at both ends as the razor’s leaving.
After that day he was considered highest on the totem pole
Not because he finally had popularity but because he was finally unable to over throw his over dose of broken hope

She was eight years old when she was first called ugly
Throughout her life she would have to rehearse running away to avoid the pushing and shoving
She had a birthmark that covered less than half her face
The kids would always say look at that disgrace.
Or that she looked like a bad mistake that’s only half erased
To this day despite a loving husband she doesn’t think she’s beautiful
Her self esteem and confidence has been trapped away in cubicles
But what they don’t understand is that she is two kids strong
And their definition of beautiful starts with the word “mom”
She will always live with that chip on her shoulder that will grow heavier with each day
This society’s norm allows for no lee way
It’s just the he say she say
Lives stopped like freeze frames.

But this? This is just loose debris
Left over from when we finally do believe
That we can smash all the things we thought we used to be
Our egos crushed under the weight of others anger
As we become more articulate words become less of inferior banter
And more like the last one in the chamber.

Originally Posted by Dave

The rhyming went up and down throughout. Some parts were solid, some parts were a little stretched. Your story was slightly all over the place at times too. I get to the end and think to myself “So what was actually the message in what I was reading?”. You also focused heavily on one character and not on another. I’d have liked to have seen that shared out a little more. A great line was “Their definition of beautiful comes from the word ‘mom’”. Really strong message in there, great thinking.

Writer 11 (Wizdumb)

I’d never admitted the hate that ive witnessed, but lately it's seems though the days are extended, blatantly endless, year upon year of pain and oppression. A pagan once raised where the vagrants were present... Now placed in a cage til I'm raised to the heavens.
‘Not guiltys’ what I plead, my fate was changed by the sentence. An aimless depression, facin rage and aggression. Maimed and defenceless. In a place where the ranks try to placate the peasants and the demons screamin out... but not an angel is present.
So for an ageless existence ive been claiming I didn’t take place in the killings that got me chained n imprisoned… but facin the end of my place in this wasteless abyss of hate n proscription I’ve made the decision to confess my regrets and explain to their children:
“Dear Joseph & Chloe… first off I just want you to know that im soulfully sorry for what the two of you were exposed to that morning. When I saw the door broken… my ears perked, mind jetting. I rejoiced at the thought that whatever I brought back to the heart of my block would probably cop the most marvelous rock stash. N that’s all it took, I was gone to plot in a hot flash.
But what played out that when I returned, I couldnt have predicted happening… I was happily snatchin all that I could grab, but I didn’t see ya daddy standin, poised behind the mantelpiece.. What I did see was his face twisted in a maddening grimace as he tackled me trynna hack n slash a piece big enough to cause a casualty…
In an instant we were grappling.. battling.. scrambling to find our footing. I did, n with a violent push I ripped the knife directly through his adams apple nd right into his spine to mute em.
That’s when I saw the wife was moving. Advancing with a rifle toolin round with the safety just long enough for me to strike n put the exact knife I used to carve up ya daddy, right into her sinus tubes then up into her eyes n pupils.
It was a travesty. I was just an addict plannin to snatch n thieve just to get some smack... and ended up actually snatchin away ya chance to have a family.
So Although I know you'll never accept it and theres nothing I could ever do to gain your respect, I truly regret it."
And then I sent it.
Cuz for a soul about to recede in suppression... a guilty conscience needs its confession.

Originally Posted by Dave

The rhyming throughout was crazy. It’s a shame you sucked ass in the second round because this was a really strong piece. You progressed the story along perfectly. The only downside was “Did this dude really go THAT graphic in his confession to the kids?” lmao, but besides that, I really enjoyed the piece start to finish and it’s one of the best drops of the tournament thus far.

Writer 10 (ViTRiOL)

1. 13th November 1940, Trondheim, Norway

We are frost-stricken, stranded betwixt the beams cold & godless and scavenging for scraps is our only option,
While we silently shiver in the bitter blackness, this dusky, hollow cellar our only solace
From the impending doom that roams our province in toneless columns, the German troops that search for loot
And lives to rend for life itself wisps like smoke in the hardened hands of these fervid brutes.
I am a poor farmer who had once made a pittance from the earthly fruits,
Now a family whose dismal fates once laid on the brittle state of turnip shoots
2. Face this bleak demise with leaky eyes in the broken rays of a perfect moon.
On a floor ridden with unswept soot, my cherished love gruesomely joined with torment bears the fruit of my loins,
Muffling her cries is my son, weak-limbed, crucially poised with a cloth-in-hand for muting the noise,
But on hard ground we wait, shaken by war and ebbed by hunger in the luminous void.

My dear son Eirik is worn, a lethargic nimbus encases a set of bones that quiver in the tenebrous dust,
There’s a yellowish crust set on the swollen mounds of each and every pestilent cut,
I pray for him, indeed I pray for us, with one hand upon my wife’s hand,
And the other with a passionate grip keeps the Book of Genesis clutched.
With the same grip, she pulls tight as her genitals gush, the resonance of her screams make the cellar erupt
As she braves a perilous plunge, pushing life into a sparsely moonlit world, shadowbound and grim,
She screams, howls until the loudness brims filling the gloom with exerted motions as it stirs commotion,
But I am stunned, as I pull from her some creature and then I am shocked by absurd emotions.
For a moment frozen in time, there is no fear, no alarm or distress and no words are spoken,
As I feel the wet skin against my arms and the eyes of this wondrous girl I’m holding.

Deep blue of azure skylines, lighting up the saddened night-time,
In the face of beauty I weep, how she has been born alongside such tragic lifetimes.
“Cecilie, my darling,” I sob aloud, as I get on my knees and kneel to hush,
But time is lost, from the ordeal she trumped, my cherished love falls ill and slumps.
My spine then aches with fear as I hear a storm of soldiers from above,
No time to cry, to fall, but I can barely breathe with these soulless lungs,
I grip her tight to my chest, thoughts plague me as cold terror overcomes
What would they do to us? To now my only love? The boots overhead, they slowly thump
I place my hands to her throat, what life could she have? With all the warmth and the all the laughter,
But either way, I know: Unwittingly, she awaits the arms of Death and the jaws of darkness…

Originally Posted by Dave

See, it’s a cunt no showing isn’t it? . It’s a shame you didn’t show up for the second round This was a very solid piece with demonstrated every single aspect of topical writing. The vocab was stellar, the imagery was fantastic, the story progressed well, the rhyming was brilliant. The only downside I have is that sometimes your rhymes popped up in unexpected places, so I found myself backtracking slightly to find out what I had missed and what put my flow off.

Writer 30 (NoLuck)

To tell you the truth i don't get FADED , im so good of a player that i wouldn't get TRADED , your A GRADED? don't take notice to what this plain STATED . its the 23rd and your expiry was 8th DATED , So your talent 'expired' like the 'retired' when the drive 'part' of your 'heart' VA CATED,
i smoke chronic so you could say i got that GREEN BREATH we do it hard something like that TEEN SEX your soft and pissed off something like a FIEND STRESSED
percaut to the lost or your on the SCENE WRECKED
G CHECKED BRO OR NOT just check my temperature like a fever im OVER HOT this is a clean hit your just mad that you got SHOULDER ROCKED plus you ain't wise enough me i think them OLDER THOUGHTS lyrically man get this HOE A BOX you got no respect what so ever just HOLD THE THOUGHTS i dont give a fuck what you think like a chick that
BLOES MY COCK , stop talking JUST DO IT after this i won't call you a bitch like this guy beacause you PROCESSED MY FLUID one hundred percent non fiction off the top OF THE UNIT so how the fuck could you come over here and possibly RUIN IT im non stop with the MOVEMENT kicking on these CATCHY BEATS LET ME BEEF
i talk shine like through me they let the HEAVENS SPEAK..

Originally Posted by Dave

You obviously weren’t 100% sure of what a topical was here, and dropped more of a bragging style cypher aimed at an opponent. If you ever intend of returning to topicals, read around the section a little bit more and get familiar with what the style is like.

Writer 32

"Premonition's"
Night One:
I've been having a dream lately, I just can't shake it.
When it starts, it emits red, my body pulsates, quaking,
My mine stutters, racing, out of pace like crazy!
Then I see him, that shade thing, staring blankly.
I could never see his face, I make out a top hat and brim.
As he approaches I wake up, it's happened again....
I think nothing of it, I laugh and I grin,
I walk it off, go one with my day with it in the past,
The past has passed, that's just it.

Night Two:
I'm having this dream again, why can't I shake it?
Mind's racing, the pace is, ugh, I hate it.
Lucid, I can make out the surrounding, tree's and hills,
I can smell the sea, the mill, summer, the heat is real.
The man appears in the distance, just behind a heat wave,
My mouth is in a drought, my teeth ache.
He approaches, my heart pumps, bump, bump, bump.
My heart says "Stay" my mind yells, "RUN RUN RUN"!
I wake up....

Night Three:
This time I'm in the snow, the cold, freezing rain,
The weather doesn't makes sense, I need to wake,
Then I see him, clear as day, it's me, he's speaks his name,
"I'm Steven Ray, did you have the same dream today?"
"Because when you pass the part with the sea, the heat and waves"
"Something dire happens, I believe it's grave"

Day One:
I awake, tremors quake throughout my being,
I question reality and what I've been dreaming,
"Something dire can't happen right" I keep repeating.
I take a walk down the street, I feel the heat, and smell the sea,
I see the figure with a top hat and brim, my mind is racing,
I'm jarred awake, fast asleep, I just can't shake it.

Night One....

Originally Posted by Dave

I’m really fucking annoyed that I can’t understand this verse because it seems like the ending is crazy dope but I just don’t get it. You had me REALLY engaged throughout your verse here. I was dying to find out where you were going with it, which is probably why I’m annoyed that I’m not understanding it. The rhyming and flow were okay, a few hiccups, but all in all the storytelling was brilliant.

Writer 25 (HeliO)

Consume useless products from fabricated illusions, use two fist fo bucks, hum??, elaborated contusions, decapitated in ruins, a mind's a terrible thing to waste, get lacerations for two cents, the system was designed only, for castrating the new kids, not delivering hope to the masses, that they're playing in tune with. Having it all, is a delusional mind state, the grass is greener on the other side but, confusion is what the line plays, residing in tombs of life, strife, only contributes to the crime rate, micky d's to migeon, still looks like beef upon my plate. Power with words, knowledge on the decline, shower the herbs I heard it through the grape vine, towers a blur coz wounds heal, it just takes time, life is a distraction, so easily they take mine. envy the great guy, but all systems lack value, change comes from with in, no one listens to the how too, lackin sight to see both sides of the fence like vision from cows do, open mind stems, up your cap, no pickings from cow doo. Hunger for more, drives the starvin to die, material love fills the heart in disguise, patiently wastin breaths, hit trees w/blows till the carbon arrives, tweetin behind the cardigan guy, an stay disillusioned to the fact only the hardest survives. Carcinogens fly, projectin full circle that the carcass is life, so reachin for dullness, poles shift, from darkness to light, so hardship can survive. Conceptual existence is an immaculate lie, truly its lust steerin this elaborate ride, twistin presences, livin lessons, not protectin the why?? as the steadily lackin sight about life, to notice you only live, once an if you do it right, that should be enough ..to die!! Currently currency, is turnin the purpose the, statutes of freedom never converse over conservin, current me?? coz perpetual peasants stay purposely perpetuatin perjury!!! that's why the lack off money is the courtesy we currently need w/urgency.. so knowledge can bring unity through skills an diversity!!

Originally Posted by Lockhart

This verse I felt had some great poetic elements to it i.e. Alliteration, imagery, etc. However, I feel that it simply didn't stay on topic as well as it should have, meaning that it really didn't stick to one particular thought. It always seemed to keep jutting around from one idea to the next with no real progression. Scheme wise I felt it was actually quite impressive, but on the flip side, there were also areas to where the scheme work needed cleaning up to keep a better flow going. This was a decent "topical", but to me, it seemed more cypherish than topical.

Writer 33 (IAmFlow)

Unconditional Love

The first day I met her, I was at the cafe getting some fine food
She was bussin' the tables in raggedy clothes and sun-dried shoes
But somehow I looked at her and just marveled her numb life
Was it her long brunette hair or eyes that sparkle in sunlight?
Her dedication, her resilience, or all her hardworking days
For some low-end tips and a paycheck below minimum wage
So one day I got the courage to ask her on a date with me
She was stand offish, and surprised when I made the plea
But she said; "Yes, we can give it a try and grab a coffee"
"That sounds great, here tomorrow morning" I replied softly.

And here we are today, we've been together for twenty years
yeah we had our differences, family deaths, we shed plenty tears
I offered her the world, a nice house and luxury cars, the good life
A Healthy Diet, Brand Name clothes, anything she would like
After all this time, she still never wanted a dime
She stayed true, and never became daunted and primed
It was never about the money, never about the easy livin'
Or not being hungry, or having anything that was freely givin'
She was this one in a kind ace; A pure beautiful angel
A heart, no matter how aged, was youthful and graceful
No matter what I had to give her, it was superficial and dumb
Any other person would have found it irresistible stuff
But was she gave back was unimaginable, It was the best gift of all.
What she gave me back…

Was unconditional love.

Originally Posted by Lockhart

This story really had me hooked in from the first 2 lines. I feel the scheme work, for the most part, might have been a bit simplistic at times, meaning there were one sets of rhymes for each line that I read, which made the flow a bit more verbose, but it doesn't take away from how well the story progressed. It was really quite interesting reading how the two people met for the first time and how the woman never changed in her values. Bit of a sentimental touch and makes us reflect on how we shouldn't be as superficial. Very good topical here.