Phoenix: To start, I HATE pieces which end with suicide. It's worse than "And then I woke up" for me. I felt the main issue in this drop was some faults in the storyline. You might want to devise like a storyboard next time to make sure it all connects.
A photographer buys a camera, and wants to take pictures all over the world.
He sees two people dying in Palestine.
Goes to Russia.
Meets a girl with some problems, which is weird as he was just taking pictures.
Goes to his hotel room.
And kills himself?
I've seen more than two bad thing happen in my time. That dude cant handle a lot can he?
Just try and get in your protagonist's head a bit more. Think of how he'd react to situations, and that will allow you to get a most realistic output.
HandJob Alias I have absolutely no idea what was going on here. I was lost from jump and the road signs were written in hieroglyphics or some shit. I don't even know where to start. The lyricism ranged from okay to not great.
Overall, not a really good contest in here. I managed to get into one a bit more, so I'll go that way.
Phoenix Gets my Vote
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