Bnas: you had alot of forced wordplay in there and it took away from your flow. While you stayed on topic, it wasn't very concise as to what that topic was. I mean, i know it was about a girl but what type of girl? The direction of the verse was very unclear and at times seemed like you were having trouble stepping away from a "battle" style of flow.
Eloh: Almost the opposite of Bnas. The multis and wordplay weren't there but it doesn't matter much in a topical. I could envision everything you were saying and it had a nice flow. While the concept wasn't extremely original, you did a great job of conveying your message and painting a picture which in a topical, is paramount to all facets of a verse.
No hate at all but to me, the winner is clear.
Eloh Stacks
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