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Unread 11-11-2013, 12:44 PM
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Phoenix: I felt this was lacking in a few places. EtH's observations were pretty spot on. I also felt that it read choppy and awkward due to syllable count, not to mention some grammar issues. Particularly the old lady that lost her sane.

Handjob: I actually kind of liked this. It was played in a way where I couldn't really tell if Biff was some lowlife or actually just a fly. The balance that kept me guessing that also propelled me forward in reading wanting to figure it out. It obviously wasn't perfect but I did like the odd tone of it and appreciate what you were trying to do.

My vote goes to Handjob Alias
Unread 11-11-2013, 12:44 PM   #6
 
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Phoenix: I felt this was lacking in a few places. EtH's observations were pretty spot on. I also felt that it read choppy and awkward due to syllable count, not to mention some grammar issues. Particularly the old lady that lost her sane.

Handjob: I actually kind of liked this. It was played in a way where I couldn't really tell if Biff was some lowlife or actually just a fly. The balance that kept me guessing that also propelled me forward in reading wanting to figure it out. It obviously wasn't perfect but I did like the odd tone of it and appreciate what you were trying to do.

My vote goes to Handjob Alias