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Unread 11-10-2013, 09:05 AM
Hubert Cumberdale
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LOGiKK: I just googled to see if you bit this, so there's your compliment. Although I didn't find myself gripped into the story, I was VERY impressed with how you are instantaneously using lots of different aspects of the more difficult poetic side of writing. You had alliterating and assonance rocking throughout, imagery was flowing. You did a great job here. I'd suggest formatting it in the other style in future, as the battle box stuff doesn't make it look as good. This was a solid drop though man and I hope to see you sticking around the section.

Phroxen: I'm going to be honest, I was lost in the story a few words in. But it didn't really hold this piece back. You've done what almost every high level text battler does in moving to topicals, and that's bring a very high level of lyricism into your piece. You managed to carry your story, not straying at all, yet maintaining impressive rhyme schemes, which was good to see. There was some good signs of imagery in there, but I really don't think this will be close to a full account of how good you will be if you stick to these. This seems like you might have not really felt it when writing, so I think you'll be crazy dope if you get something you're into. (Also, I'm letting you off posting less lines because you could easily break up a few of your lines for more space)

Overall, this was a surprisingly close battle. LOG brought some better poetic aspects, but Phroxen was miles ahead in lyricism. I enjoyed reading one a bit more, and so I'm leaning that way.

Phroxen Gets my Vote
Unread 11-10-2013, 09:05 AM   #9
 
Hubert Cumberdale
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LOGiKK: I just googled to see if you bit this, so there's your compliment. Although I didn't find myself gripped into the story, I was VERY impressed with how you are instantaneously using lots of different aspects of the more difficult poetic side of writing. You had alliterating and assonance rocking throughout, imagery was flowing. You did a great job here. I'd suggest formatting it in the other style in future, as the battle box stuff doesn't make it look as good. This was a solid drop though man and I hope to see you sticking around the section.

Phroxen: I'm going to be honest, I was lost in the story a few words in. But it didn't really hold this piece back. You've done what almost every high level text battler does in moving to topicals, and that's bring a very high level of lyricism into your piece. You managed to carry your story, not straying at all, yet maintaining impressive rhyme schemes, which was good to see. There was some good signs of imagery in there, but I really don't think this will be close to a full account of how good you will be if you stick to these. This seems like you might have not really felt it when writing, so I think you'll be crazy dope if you get something you're into. (Also, I'm letting you off posting less lines because you could easily break up a few of your lines for more space)

Overall, this was a surprisingly close battle. LOG brought some better poetic aspects, but Phroxen was miles ahead in lyricism. I enjoyed reading one a bit more, and so I'm leaning that way.

Phroxen Gets my Vote