Dirty Work, maybe the biggest jump I've seen from good to great in topicals over the last 5 years. You have completely nailed something a lot of people struggle with; vocab. You don't go overboard. You've got us completely understanding what you mean, while at the same time still having your vernacular in an elevated state. The flow was crazy and I eventually was going out loud. I especially liked the italic'd wording because I was even able to include that by the end. The rhyming was solid. It started off a little slow for me, as the story wasn't quite as good at the beginning, but when you got to the second stanza it really picked up. Something I didn't expect was for you be able to tie it all up as well as you did, and you did a great job of that.

My favourite line was:

"It is costly, and you can not name the price."

Dono: The lyricism and flow was crazy in this. You really took a lot of influence from poetry and meshed it perfectly with rap, which is the root description of what a topical is. In the story however, there were parts I failed to click with. You have this bullied kid who reads books. He finds a spell or something, says it, gains all knowledge, and then kills himself. The previous mention that he was bullied just disappears, and you barley touch on his mental state with this new gain. I felt that you should have connected us to the character instead of the sentiment a big more. I really liked the idea though, and you said it might have been a little bit too philosophical at first, but I think you stay a little bit away from the border line and I was easily able to keep my grasp on everything.

Overall: Probably the best topical I've read on LB. Both had crazy rhyming and flows, but still managed to keep it what it is supposed to be all about. I found that I enjoyed a piece a bit more, and that's why I edge this way.

Dirty Work GMV

Dirty Work, maybe the biggest jump I've seen from good to great in topicals over the last 5 years. You have completely nailed something a lot of people struggle with; vocab. You don't go overboard. You've got us completely understanding what you mean, while at the same time still having your vernacular in an elevated state. The flow was crazy and I eventually was going out loud. I especially liked the italic'd wording because I was even able to include that by the end. The rhyming was solid. It started off a little slow for me, as the story wasn't quite as good at the beginning, but when you got to the second stanza it really picked up. Something I didn't expect was for you be able to tie it all up as well as you did, and you did a great job of that.

My favourite line was:

"It is costly, and you can not name the price."

Dono: The lyricism and flow was crazy in this. You really took a lot of influence from poetry and meshed it perfectly with rap, which is the root description of what a topical is. In the story however, there were parts I failed to click with. You have this bullied kid who reads books. He finds a spell or something, says it, gains all knowledge, and then kills himself. The previous mention that he was bullied just disappears, and you barley touch on his mental state with this new gain. I felt that you should have connected us to the character instead of the sentiment a big more. I really liked the idea though, and you said it might have been a little bit too philosophical at first, but I think you stay a little bit away from the border line and I was easily able to keep my grasp on everything.

Overall: Probably the best topical I've read on LB. Both had crazy rhyming and flows, but still managed to keep it what it is supposed to be all about. I found that I enjoyed a piece a bit more, and that's why I edge this way.

Dirty Work GMV