1st @
Jam Jar :
Your story was the best at drawing me in, there's some emotion there. The story could definitely use some work, not a whole lot going on there. A father beats a kid and as the brother you don't like it. If playing on an exclusively emotional draw without much creativity in the story you're going to need to become the primary character. Don't be the brother who thinks it sucks, be the kid who's getting his ass beat every night and still love your dad. You wanna do a topic like this then dig in deep. It'll make for a more powerful story and draw the reader in.
2nd @
Dysfunctional :
Not too poorly executed but you really need to dial in some context and scenery. A couple logicstical confusions. For example, you say 'kids pile in' so I immediately assume they are elementary school age, then suddenly there's a huge zombie outbreak with little to no context, somehow thousands of zombies yet no one thought to stop the bus schedule, which you could plausibly explain away with instant infection but it's a hard sell and not really in the story. Then you suddenly skip that scene and jump into the picture which has the 'kids' looking quite a bit older than 3 years progression, in my opinion. My advice would be pick a section, say the ending, and really delve in and give some detail. If you need backstory, add it in AFTER you've esablished us in a scene and then transition into the past. That helps draw us in more and put the reader into one specific scenario as it unfolds.
3rd @
Fidel :
Not bad, just needs more depth. Something to spice up the story besides someone dying from a plane crash. For a brief second I thought you were going to take the perspective of the plane and that would have been an unbelievably dope topic. Anyway, I need more context, I need depth in the story. Stronger descriptions, stronger emotions. You have a lot of the same issues as dysfuntional. I don't really get the impression you're in a specific place, just a lot of descriptions of things around you, if that makes any sense at all. Are you in the plane still? Are you in the grass? What's going on?
All in all you guys did pretty decent, I'm a harsh critic so don't get demotivated by any of it, just trying to help you take it to the next level. Amp up the descriptive language and scene involvement. And get creative! Take some risks. Potential here in all 3, keep up the work.