Tough to judge here, 3 topics 3 writers. Lets go.
Jam Jar: I thought you did a good job of making an emotional statement. Rhyme and flow were on point through out. The only thing I felt was lacking was a real beginning/middle/end storyline. Were dropped into this kids life and know that he's abused and how he feels and at the end that little shot in the heart, but we don't know much else about the rest of the characters in the story. Felt it could have been fleshed out a little more but still enjoyed it and had a good response to it.
Fidel- I felt like I wanted more from this. Some good imigery and some nice lines (the birds falsetto being my favorite) but despite an injured man walking through some "beautiful wasteland" I dont really know whats happening. I have the picture to guide me a little but the picture is of a plane crash and you never mention anything like that. Then I start going well, was it a plane crash or something else, how true to the picture is the story, and I don't have an answer.
Dys- wasn't really too into this one. The rhyme and flow was decent but choppy at points. The lines "the bus started to rock, the bus started to shake" seemed a bit juvenile to me and then at the end they have been there for 3 years? In the same spot, by the bus. They have just been firing off at zombies from the same location for 3 years. That didn't sit with me well and made it hard forme to take the plot at face value.
1st place Jam Jar
2nd place Fidel Z
3rd place Dysfunctional
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