Both verses had their pro's and cons.
Harizon - You displayed exceptional vocabulary and well stanza'd verses that rolled fluently off the tongue. Your story played out well and really grasped my attention. Your imagery was good but it can always be improved by focusing things on little details here and there to suck the reader in. But overall a great read.
Lockhart - Your approach was a bit unorthadox but I could fux with it. I didn't feel it was detailed enough though. I had to read 2-3 times to understand your POV and concept. Your vocab could use some work and it flowed sort of like a battle. Good Stanza structure however. Touch up here and there on your details.
Winner - Harizon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mokane
I thought denton was black this whole time he was white
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