Quote:
Originally Posted by Verity
Listened a couple times, here's some feedback;
I think it's a bit all over the place, there's not really a clear concept within the song just a bit of everything.
Your delivery didn't 100% suit your lyrics which could be unique, e.g. rapping angry/gun bars but with a hyper and happy tone doesn't work too great. I guess it could and could be your niche if you could make it work well but right now I don't think it's working out.
I liked the beat, had something immortal technique about it and I think if you had a clear concept and a tone that suited your lyrics then it would have been a lot better.
You really picked up more towards the end and it got a lot more interesting and the switch in flow was pretty dope.
Overall as a first track you're probably just experimenting anyway so I hope you don't get mad at the feedback, just genuine opinions. You're a dope lyricist when you want to be and I think that when you're more comfortable with it and got your own style down then you'll write something dope and be an all rounder. Good luck!
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Appreciate it Verity.
And yeh I just downloaded Audacity lastnight, woke up this morning and literally wrote those lyrics in 10 minutes or so.
I admit my voice is shit for tracks, and my accent is probly hard to understand.. But fuck it im just doing me.
And if it's punchlines y'all want then you'll get em on the next track
