Listened a couple times, here's some feedback;
I think it's a bit all over the place, there's not really a clear concept within the song just a bit of everything.
Your delivery didn't 100% suit your lyrics which could be unique, e.g. rapping angry/gun bars but with a hyper and happy tone doesn't work too great. I guess it could and could be your niche if you could make it work well but right now I don't think it's working out.
I liked the beat, had something immortal technique about it and I think if you had a clear concept and a tone that suited your lyrics then it would have been a lot better.
You really picked up more towards the end and it got a lot more interesting and the switch in flow was pretty dope.
Overall as a first track you're probably just experimenting anyway so I hope you don't get mad at the feedback, just genuine opinions. You're a dope lyricist when you want to be and I think that when you're more comfortable with it and got your own style down then you'll write something dope and be an all rounder. Good luck!
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