soon as i finish this bottle of wine and pizza... let me indulge before i indulge
---------- Post added at 03:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:29 PM ----------
look at the tits on that girl in the roadkill t-shirts ad
---------- Post added at 05:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:36 PM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just €
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who made this beat? nice story telling beat
so iv had to listen to this track about 14 times to decipher your accent. from what i can understand, this song is very, very dark. Its about a 12 year old girl being molested/raped by her father. The beat suits it well with its ominous minimal piano and sparse orchestral hits. Im not sure as to where the story went or what you were trying to say, but i'll get to that in the review. it painted a pretty twisted picture however. reminded me of this little girl who sat next to me on this long bus ride and poured her soul out to me about family issues.
ok... enough ranting. on with critique.
BEAT: great. no complaints. maybe a larger snare
PRODUCTION: the beat/performance would have shown even brighter if you had a nicer vocal quality. your mixing didn't do your performance justice in my opinion. You used some sort of filter obviously, judging from the drops in background noise when you're not speaking. I'd say try eq'ing the highs of your vocal tracks higher up and filtering out the bottom so you get less background noise and a brighter quality to your vocal that will cut through a ominous track like this... a trick i like to use as well. try putting around 4-6% echo on your voice. not enough to be obvious but enough to put your voice at a strange place between the forefront and the background for an ominous song like this. another trick i like to do for projects is putting 2% echo on the master track of the song, it will blend every sound in your song together, a lot of old school producers use that trick.
PERFORMANCE: great job. you delivered it like someone who really met this girl. like she was your sister or some shit.
LYRIC: though detailed and image evoking, i felt lacked in conclusion. i feel like a great song always has a button... the thought at the end or the hook or anything that just lubricates all of the thoughts and images of the song. you had no real 'button' on the song. for example in eminem's stan when he says 'that was you, damn'.. thats the button. your lyric came off as a slew of images about this girl, it never really resolved.
OVERALL: 7.5/10. this is a great rating btw, if anyones wondering my grading system. wonderful job just c. you sat down and you spent the time to write a song that can bring something out of people (in my case, the memory of that girl on the bus). Though it lacked in conclusion (in my opinion) and the production took away from the power of the beat and imagery, it is a triumph... 7.5
---------- Post added at 05:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:09 PM ----------
don't be cowards, post