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IV · #10 03-20-2012, 02:58 PM

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - NelSyn - Took a more obvious route, Askari had a very subtle rhyming scheme which worked well with his piece, but NelSyn took this category.

Vocabulary - Askari - Hands down. Nelsyn was a lot more basic, Askari really showed off his range.

Topic/Meaning - Askari- I liked that you went from the terroists point of view that was a really clever idea, I wasn't expecting it. NelSyn I think you went a bit off topic, but nice concept in general, just drifted off slightly.

Storytelling/Progression - Askari - Clear beginning, middle and end. Progressed nicely and was really captivating throughout. No boring parts, didn't drag, great job.

Emotion - TIE - I think NelSyn went down the whole depressed route, a lot of emotion came off. I think people need to realise that 'emotion' doesn't always mean sad. Askari had a lot of bitterness (imo) coming from his verse, a bit of hate, and showed moments of remorse. Can't judge it! NelSyn kept the emotion the whole way through, Askari executed his emotion very originally, and made me feel what he was feeling at the exact time, very impressive from both.

Imagery - TIE - Hardest category to master IMO not enough imagery from either side to win this.

Poetic Techniques - Askari - Nice use of repetition.

Ending - Askari - Predictable, but the last couple lines sent out a really good message! Rounded the story off nicely.

Overall MVGT - Askari - I really enjoyed this one. Being a big event in Englands' recent terrorist history I was looking forward to what angles you would take. I think Askari used a lot of poetic techniques, created an extremely creative and original verse, with not so obvious tradition-topical traits. NelSyn you've really improved since last round, I was impressed by your verse and I think you have a lot of potential. Askari over powered it right here. Thanks for both submitting, and good luck to Askari in the later rounds.

---------- Post added at 06:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:56 PM ----------

Due to 3-0 K.O Askari wins! Great battle from both, NelSyn you will be first reserve for next round.

IV · 03-20-2012, 02:58 PM

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - NelSyn - Took a more obvious route, Askari had a very subtle rhyming scheme which worked well with his piece, but NelSyn took this category.

Vocabulary - Askari - Hands down. Nelsyn was a lot more basic, Askari really showed off his range.

Topic/Meaning - Askari- I liked that you went from the terroists point of view that was a really clever idea, I wasn't expecting it. NelSyn I think you went a bit off topic, but nice concept in general, just drifted off slightly.

Storytelling/Progression - Askari - Clear beginning, middle and end. Progressed nicely and was really captivating throughout. No boring parts, didn't drag, great job.

Emotion - TIE - I think NelSyn went down the whole depressed route, a lot of emotion came off. I think people need to realise that 'emotion' doesn't always mean sad. Askari had a lot of bitterness (imo) coming from his verse, a bit of hate, and showed moments of remorse. Can't judge it! NelSyn kept the emotion the whole way through, Askari executed his emotion very originally, and made me feel what he was feeling at the exact time, very impressive from both.

Imagery - TIE - Hardest category to master IMO not enough imagery from either side to win this.

Poetic Techniques - Askari - Nice use of repetition.

Ending - Askari - Predictable, but the last couple lines sent out a really good message! Rounded the story off nicely.

Overall MVGT - Askari - I really enjoyed this one. Being a big event in Englands' recent terrorist history I was looking forward to what angles you would take. I think Askari used a lot of poetic techniques, created an extremely creative and original verse, with not so obvious tradition-topical traits. NelSyn you've really improved since last round, I was impressed by your verse and I think you have a lot of potential. Askari over powered it right here. Thanks for both submitting, and good luck to Askari in the later rounds.

---------- Post added at 06:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:56 PM ----------

Due to 3-0 K.O Askari wins! Great battle from both, NelSyn you will be first reserve for next round.

03-20-2012, 02:58 PM	#10
IV <Red Ribbon Army> Live Battler Ranked Audio Record 4 Won / 1 Lost Ranked Text Record 153 Won / 28 Lost Exclusive Text Record 3 Won / 0 Lost Join Date: Oct 2006 Voted: 0 audio / 1239 text Posts: 5,958 Mentioned: 1299 Post(s) Tagged: 51 Thread(s)	Rhyming Scheme/Flow - NelSyn - Took a more obvious route, Askari had a very subtle rhyming scheme which worked well with his piece, but NelSyn took this category. Vocabulary - *Askari* - Hands down. Nelsyn was a lot more basic, Askari really showed off his range. Topic/Meaning - Askari- I liked that you went from the terroists point of view that was a really clever idea, I wasn't expecting it. NelSyn I think you went a bit off topic, but nice concept in general, just drifted off slightly. Storytelling/Progression - Askari - Clear beginning, middle and end. Progressed nicely and was really captivating throughout. No boring parts, didn't drag, great job. Emotion - TIE - I think NelSyn went down the whole depressed route, a lot of emotion came off. I think people need to realise that 'emotion' doesn't always mean sad. Askari had a lot of bitterness (imo) coming from his verse, a bit of hate, and showed moments of remorse. Can't judge it! NelSyn kept the emotion the whole way through, Askari executed his emotion very originally, and made me feel what he was feeling at the exact time, very impressive from both. Imagery - TIE - Hardest category to master IMO not enough imagery from either side to win this. Poetic Techniques - *Askari* - Nice use of repetition. Ending - *Askari* - Predictable, but the last couple lines sent out a really good message! Rounded the story off nicely. Overall MVGT - *Askari* - I really enjoyed this one. Being a big event in Englands' recent terrorist history I was looking forward to what angles you would take. I think Askari used a lot of poetic techniques, created an extremely creative and original verse, with not so obvious tradition-topical traits. NelSyn you've really improved since last round, I was impressed by your verse and I think you have a lot of potential. Askari over powered it right here. Thanks for both submitting, and good luck to Askari in the later rounds. ---------- Post added at 06:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:56 PM ---------- Due to 3-0 K.O Askari wins! Great battle from both, NelSyn you will be first reserve for next round.
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