I read Fiji's first 2 breakdowns of Intricates verse. and he was 100% right. People just see some soppy shit about a Soldier writing hoime and automatically go "bravo bravo" completely over looking the obvious flaws.
The whole writing home while "nukes are blowing" does not only come accross as patronising and cliched as a concept. But it's totally and utterly flawed.
How the fuck would a soldier be writing home while Not 1 but atleast 2 nukes are going off? man would be DEAD or too busy trying to evacuate the area amongst many other things he would be responsible for as a soldier. lol.
The same with the whole sending a letter home when he will be coming home in a week. Lol. Not to mention that this isn't 1945 . This isn't Germany. There are such things as phones.
And that is only the first few lines so god knows what the rest is like. I think Fiji was 100% right.
---------- Post added at 10:06 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:59 AM ----------
Just read some more. I could really lay into that whole verse but I'm not going too. No point in wasting my time. Just keep practacing and you'll get there.
Wording was a big no no though. Like when you said the words.
"without you I'm the WEAKEST CLUTZ".
Not great words to use. It just sounds wrong. Especially for a topical.
Last edited by Just C; 02-25-2012 at 09:02 AM.
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