10-15-2010, 03:43 PM
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#8
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19 Won / 21 Lost
Join Date: May 2010
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Posts: 1,700
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason
in 10's / intense is forced wordplay. even if it wasnt.. you cant spit "in tens".. so that portion of the line doesnt even make sense.
4's in sounds like force in
forcin sounds like for-CIN .. so again this wordplay is forced.... and to "keep steady fours in" doesnt really mean anything.. so again... this portion of the line doesnt make sense
the whole forks in concept is just really lame to be honest... cant stick their forks in you... c'mon dude lol.
the golf concept would be good if it wasnt extremely played.. but i see what you were tryin to do with the numbers .. so at least you had a good idea going
the last part is just forced multies with no punchline, i assume thats not the end of it? if so.. you need a punchline and you need to work on the multies
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appreciate it...
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