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Skizzo · #7 10-04-2018, 01:42 AM

@Rai, you had some extremely great concept ideas, mixed with some good personals and showed a really good use of oronyms, multis and setups.

The problem that I noticed in that verse, is that the longer the verse went, the more simplistic the concepts became. You came out pretty strong concept wise and even though the manhattan / bomb concept is played here on lb, I still appreciated the fresh flip of it being a personal.

But right after that initial back to back haymaker style, you started making basic concept connections in your setups.. Like shanked for that shit talk. And rusty saw to ya damn mouth. That connection is way too simplistic and weighed down the setup of the bar. You brought it right back with the caught with your pants down concept and closed the bar off extremely well with that hard hitting concept.. But then the entire next bar about evening the odds up concept was extremely played. You also wasted the seat on the long bus multi because i feel that you could have made that a much muuuch harder concept with a better wordplay setup that would have turned that setup into a haymaker instead of just using a take you to school concept. And the finisher to that verse was lackluster in itself. It wasnt a bad concept, but it wasnt anything amazing that stood out either.

I read the battle though and honestly.. Its one of those things I scratch my head at when reading battles. I would have personally voted for you after reading both verses. But I guess im just one mans opinion.

I think you should work on trying to keep that same intensity you had in the first bar and try to lengthen that type of concept strength and back to back hits mixed with personals throughout your entire verse, and make sure that your opening and closing bars are your hardest hits in the whole verse. Because both of those bars are extremely important to the lasting impression you leave on the voters bro.

Skizzo · 10-04-2018, 01:42 AM

@Rai, you had some extremely great concept ideas, mixed with some good personals and showed a really good use of oronyms, multis and setups.

The problem that I noticed in that verse, is that the longer the verse went, the more simplistic the concepts became. You came out pretty strong concept wise and even though the manhattan / bomb concept is played here on lb, I still appreciated the fresh flip of it being a personal.

But right after that initial back to back haymaker style, you started making basic concept connections in your setups.. Like shanked for that shit talk. And rusty saw to ya damn mouth. That connection is way too simplistic and weighed down the setup of the bar. You brought it right back with the caught with your pants down concept and closed the bar off extremely well with that hard hitting concept.. But then the entire next bar about evening the odds up concept was extremely played. You also wasted the seat on the long bus multi because i feel that you could have made that a much muuuch harder concept with a better wordplay setup that would have turned that setup into a haymaker instead of just using a take you to school concept. And the finisher to that verse was lackluster in itself. It wasnt a bad concept, but it wasnt anything amazing that stood out either.

I read the battle though and honestly.. Its one of those things I scratch my head at when reading battles. I would have personally voted for you after reading both verses. But I guess im just one mans opinion.

I think you should work on trying to keep that same intensity you had in the first bar and try to lengthen that type of concept strength and back to back hits mixed with personals throughout your entire verse, and make sure that your opening and closing bars are your hardest hits in the whole verse. Because both of those bars are extremely important to the lasting impression you leave on the voters bro.

10-04-2018, 01:42 AM	#7
Skizzo Banned Ranked Text Record 1 Won / 0 Lost Join Date: Jun 2014 Voted: 2 audio / 40 text Posts: 671 Mentioned: 297 Post(s) Tagged: 7 Thread(s)	@Rai, you had some extremely great concept ideas, mixed with some good personals and showed a really good use of oronyms, multis and setups. The problem that I noticed in that verse, is that the longer the verse went, the more simplistic the concepts became. You came out pretty strong concept wise and even though the manhattan / bomb concept is played here on lb, I still appreciated the fresh flip of it being a personal. But right after that initial back to back haymaker style, you started making basic concept connections in your setups.. Like shanked for that shit talk. And rusty saw to ya damn mouth. That connection is way too simplistic and weighed down the setup of the bar. You brought it right back with the caught with your pants down concept and closed the bar off extremely well with that hard hitting concept.. But then the entire next bar about evening the odds up concept was extremely played. You also wasted the seat on the long bus multi because i feel that you could have made that a much muuuch harder concept with a better wordplay setup that would have turned that setup into a haymaker instead of just using a take you to school concept. And the finisher to that verse was lackluster in itself. It wasnt a bad concept, but it wasnt anything amazing that stood out either. I read the battle though and honestly.. Its one of those things I scratch my head at when reading battles. I would have personally voted for you after reading both verses. But I guess im just one mans opinion. I think you should work on trying to keep that same intensity you had in the first bar and try to lengthen that type of concept strength and back to back hits mixed with personals throughout your entire verse, and make sure that your opening and closing bars are your hardest hits in the whole verse. Because both of those bars are extremely important to the lasting impression you leave on the voters bro. Last edited by Skizzo; 10-04-2018 at 01:45 AM.
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