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Unread 07-07-2014, 09:56 AM
Lockhart
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Writer 11: Your piece was really an interesting spin on how a topical is written as it's really never written from a more urban perpsective. Rhyme scheme was decent for the most part and the story progressed very well. I'd say you need to tidy up the scheming a little bit and actually stick with the topic you're given (Not really seeing how Weezy has anything to do with a wind-up toy). Decent topical.

Writer 3: The story to this was incredible. The fact you were able to tie in the soldier being relateable to a wind-up toy near the end was quite impressive and conveyed a strong image on how that army is ran. Rhyming was a bit forced at times with the syllables not matching up, but it didn't take away from how well your story progressed.

Overall, Writer 3 GMV based on the story and his overall sticking to the topic. Wasn't very close, but decent battle guys.
Unread 07-07-2014, 09:56 AM   #5
 
Lockhart
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Writer 11: Your piece was really an interesting spin on how a topical is written as it's really never written from a more urban perpsective. Rhyme scheme was decent for the most part and the story progressed very well. I'd say you need to tidy up the scheming a little bit and actually stick with the topic you're given (Not really seeing how Weezy has anything to do with a wind-up toy). Decent topical.

Writer 3: The story to this was incredible. The fact you were able to tie in the soldier being relateable to a wind-up toy near the end was quite impressive and conveyed a strong image on how that army is ran. Rhyming was a bit forced at times with the syllables not matching up, but it didn't take away from how well your story progressed.

Overall, Writer 3 GMV based on the story and his overall sticking to the topic. Wasn't very close, but decent battle guys.