Writer 11: I think you did quite well with your topic here. Story progressed quite well and your usage of vocabulary and scheme work was really quite impressive. Only complaint I would have is that it didn't really have any back story to it as to why he and the dog were both rejected, which kind of let me wondering why they were both rejected. Good topical overall, though.
Writer 4: Your structure of your topical made this a bit of a strain to read, but it wasn't too bad. Overall, I felt you strayed a little too far off topic at times going from the journey with the dog, to the trees weeping condensation and flowers you've never seen, back to the journey with the dog and how everything seems ok. Scheme work was a bit messy at times, but nothing that was completely farfetched. I feel you have potential to do really well at topicals if you tried not being so complex and trying to cram other details in to your work. With topicals at this length, you have to take the topic more so for what it is and build around that and get straight to the topic at hand.
Overall, Writer 11 GMV based on more polished scheme work and was better at staying on topic, but the other has potential.
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