Vote to writer 2.
Writer 1, I felt like you story was missing some details that would have really brought everything together. I felt just the slightest touch confused at times. Focus on making sure everything is coherent and clear to a reader on the first go through.
Writer 2, I liked the angle that you took, but you had the difficult task of having a lot of story and a very short space to tell it in. You did fairly well though.
Apologies for the short expo, you need anything else, message me.
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