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11-27-2011
07:30 PM
SAND
I'll Thwart-'N-Hurl-Frags-Till-He 'finally dies in battle' like a WAR HERO TRAGEDY ..
Some ppl said I just need to smooth it out, and I need to work on the delivery.
What do you think though? Do you agree? Or do you simply not give a damn?
Give Me your honest opinion
11-27-2011
10:23 PM
Fusion-x
id say something like "its so SAD TO SEE that he died in battle like a war hero TRAGEGY..." but idk..
12-01-2011
12:39 AM
NOBLE
"Till-He 'finally dies in battle' like a WAR HERO TRAGEDY" wasn't a particularly strong metaphor.
12-03-2011
02:06 AM
SAND
but a particularly strong simile lol.
12-04-2011
03:21 AM
NOBLE
@Genzi...In rap, both phrases using "like" or "as" are generically termed "metaphors", but I hear ya.
12-04-2011
06:45 AM
NiXWoN
I think it's just your horrible punctuation and the word Thwart is a horrible word aswell... I'll Thwart 'n Hurl 'Frags' till he 'Finally Dies In Battle' like a WAR HERO TRAGEDY! Is easier to read but I'd change that thwart word, just seems forced.
06-17-2012
05:54 PM
Ice Berg Serg
1st what rhymed with WAR HERO TRAGEDY except Finally??? 2nd I agree with Sun God that your metaphor was not strong... To use Thwart-'N-Hurl without connecting a multi was very risky in my eyes... I feel what nixwon saying bout forced but i wouldnt be mad if you squeezed it in properly. thwart n hurl kind of the same word...
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