Lookin For Wisdom...

[Prose_]

learnin my style. expo? if you want 8, hit me up.

if you think you gettin the win then you misTAKEN GRAVELY! im SLAYIN GAY KEYS which includes his cause *his wordplay's* PLAYED-AND FAKE-G plus *Holmes Forced* like this nigga RAPIN KATIE!!! my *words are cut throat* so on appendECTOMY TEXT BASED! ima give this *pussy shots* till the ENEMY'S NECK BRAKE and he's *Seein Fuckin Stars* like celeBRITY SEX TAPES!!! though im the one with retarded flow, he got the DUMBER LINES! all i hear is *Shit Comin From ya Pipes* like a PLUMBER FINDS so ima *Leave him With Writer's Block* and *Nothing Left To Right* like One on a NUMBER LINE!!! (nothin left, 2 right) 0 <-- 1 --> 2

[Louie Dawgs]

learnin my style. expo? if you want 8, hit me up.

if you think you gettin the win then you misTAKEN GRAVELY! im SLAYIN GAY KEYS which includes his cause *his wordplay's* PLAYED-AND FAKE-G plus *Holmes Forced* like this nigga RAPIN KATIE!!! my *words are cut throat* so on appendECTOMY TEXT BASED! ima give this *pussy shots* till the ENEMY'S NECK BRAKE and he's *Seein Fuckin Stars* like celeBRITY SEX TAPES!!! though im the one with retarded flow, he got the DUMBER LINES! all i hear is *Shit Comin From ya Pipes* like a PLUMBER FINDS so ima *Leave him With Writer's Block* and *Nothing Left To Right* like One on a NUMBER LINE!!! (nothin left, 2 right) 0 <-- 1 --> 2

Okay, you have some strengths and some weaknesses.

You've got some of the basics down, but your also missing in other areas. you have a lot of the same problems i'm seeing all over this site.

First, your wording is terribad. mistaken gravely is awkward. What is a gay key, and why are you slaying them? played and fake g is awkward sounding and just filler. rape and forced is played as fuck. this is the type of stuff I see all over the place.

From the start, who the fuck says mistaken gravely???

Let me re-word this for you, same verse, re-worded.

If you think you getting the win then your' GRAVELY MIS-TAKEN/ I'll TAKE AND I'LL SLAY HIM, faggit wordplay-forced-and PLAYED-CUZ YOU FAKING, forcing holmes like it's KATIE HE'S RAPING/

flows much better, and it makes more sense.

re-work your punches. Too much of this basic "quoted material" + related punch. mix it up some extend some ideas over multiple lines. Elaborate.

If something can't flow right, scrap it or re-word it untill it does.

[Prose_]

yeah. i got problems wit setups. but the wording i can fix easy. thanks fam.