First song

[MCkupe]

Hey, what up guys...I just tried to make my first song...got it on Youtube. I gotta play with the pitch/voice on it plus i got like a $2 mic I recorded it on. The lyrics ain't really go too hard either. Let me know what you think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oaJRX619-4
:D

[EL BASTARD]

An emcees first track is always gunna be rough...but as far as honest criticism goes (and thats what you need at this early stage) you fell off beat a few times during the song. You need to work on putting more emotion in your delivery because it sounds like your reading right off the paper. You wanna make it sound like your comfortable and confident on a track but you sound real stiff in ya delivery. But that will all fall into place eventuallly...just keep grinding and keep making tracks..thats the only way to elevate ya skills more.