J Flythe

[Prose_]

RUN THIS G and FLEECE-A WRECKER with PUNS SHIFTY! only time he "COME WITH KEYS" is jackin off to aLICIA'S RECORDS! i dont CARE! im BLASTIN-TURDS with SNARES and SLASHIN-WORDS! i ask wat yall think of J and they said "Flythe Plain" like yells from SCARED AIR PASSENGERS(Fly the Plane)! he think he cuttin beef? im COPPIN SICKER GORE and im hackin and cuttin! JOCKING the QUICKER SWORDS while he cant even Hold Up a Bar! so now he's ROBBIN LIQUOR STORES! ima shut him down like KILLER SPAM! he aint nothin but a Weak Old Cracker like BITTER GRAMS so ima cut his eyes untill he "Not See" like HITLER'S FAM! ima have him pushin daisies! thats only time HE STAY-STEMED! ima kill him till his own crew and TEAM wont TAKE-HIM cause i stay Schemeing! Always Up To Shit like Old Folks at THREE A.M.!

[Prose_]

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[RULE]

You have some nice concepts fam. some nice punch ideas. The wording needs a lotta work and the relevance of the build too.

eg: RUN THIS G and FLEECE-A WRECKER with PUNS SHIFTY! only time he "COME WITH KEYS" is jackin off to aLICIA'S RECORDS!

The punch is a decent one (he "COME WITH KEYS" is jackin off to aLICIA'S RECORDS!) that was ok. The build tho: (RUN THIS G and FLEECE-A WRECKER with PUNS SHIFTY) is just meaningless multis that mean nothing. This is lines & space that you could be using to attack your opponent with or building up your punchline with.

Just a quick observation. Stay up.

[Prose_]

^go looks man. harder said then done but ima get on that.